I need a BIG change in my life!

  • Hello captain,

    I'm sagitarius and he's libra. For the past 5 years we have an on and off again relationship.

    3 weeks ago, he came to visit me to give his condolenses (my mother passed away). He ask me to forgive him and he wants to live with me, and he said that he loves me and he mis me.

    I love him, but I want him to change. I told him that. But I did not answer him yet, about move in with me. Should I trust him? We're both 48 years old. If I say yes, do you think it's gonna work this time?

    Or am I gonna meet someone new?

    I am working in a shoe store. Am I gonna get a promotion? And a higher salary? Or should I change job for a higher salary. Or should I open my own retail business?

    My DOB december 9 1962. His DOB oktober 4 1962.

  • If you want a BIG change in your life, you have to make a BIG change in your attitude and approach to life. If you continue to do things as you have always done them, nothing will change for you. Have you tried asking for a promotion or a bigger salary? What steps have you takne to find out about starting your own business - like doing a small business course for example? Nothing is going to just drop into your lap - you have to work for it.

    And you cannot expect anyone else to change just for you. One of the biggest mistakes women make in a relationship is expecting the other person to become more of the sort of partner they want or thinking they can ''fix' him. You are never so perfect yourself that you can expect others to be better too. The only reason for someone to change is for their own sake. Work on making your own life what you want it to be and try to accept people as they are - or don't be around them.

    You and your friend: you two are likely to establish a deep emotional bond. Your relationship can be highly intimate, and conducive to personal expression. It is often quite well-rounded, with each partner offering something of great benefit to the other. Your partner can be influential in bringing you into a more meaningful relationship with society, and you can encourage him to express his own individuality and to feel less compelled to please others or to run away from serious or overly emotional situations. But you cannot force him to change if he doesn't want to. Emotional blackmail or any sort of manipulation or brute force will send him running from you. That would be a shame as your complementary strengths and intense rapport make this an unusually healthy and vibrant matchup. Proceeding from this basis, you two are able to place the relationship in a significant social context without compromising your fundamental beliefs.

    No matter how perfunctory the introduction or how superficial the initial involvement, a love affair here can be very meaningful. This relationship can continue to broaden and deepen, and to encourage self-actualization for both of you - the two of you can evolve together, creating a bond that is difficult to break. It can be quite natural for marriage to be a further step for you, but it should not be taken for granted that personal development will continue at a steady pace after the knot is tied.

    Deep empathy and affection is present in your relationship, but possessive attitudes can also surface, with accompanying jealousies and dependencies. The challenge is to maintain an open atmosphere that allows for individual expression; otherwise you Pinky may lose your most essential character trait and eventually become deeply frustrated. Encourage each other's personal and spiritual growth.

    Your partner suffers from a tendency to become restless and bored. He has a quick clever mind that grasps things very quickly, often moving from one topic, project or situation to the next, avoiding the necessary groundwork of thorough preparation, like a butterfly flitting from one flower to another without pausing long enough to deeply taste its nectar. Disparate and superficial interests can hinder his progress until he gets a handle on his avoidance behaviour and other forms of escapism which can make him very hard to pin down. He tends to see himself as the geeky friend who isn't taken seriously as a lover and has a fear of being rejected emotionally which keeps him on the move. He has an almost insatiable need to receive love, but his other need to feel the acceptance of his peers can push him to jump through hoops for a lot of people, hoping for their support and to find happiness. But until he settles down more, he will not experience the self-esteem that comes from the details and painstaking efforts of life and love. Until he overcomes the obstacle of self-deception and aligns himself with a solid set of principles or beliefs, he will never ground himself enough to turn his visions into concrete reality. Dedicating himself to a course of study or a craft from which he can gain mastery and a sense of accomplishment would really help him. The danger for him lies in retreating from the world and becoming increasingly isolated.

    Ypu Pinky have to be careful not to alienate the people around you by pressing the logic of your own viewpoints on them. Assess the way you communicate, as you are often misunderstood when your mind becomes too scattered. Self-protection can be your biggest stumbling block - you need to heal the wounds of the past in order to open your heart fully in the present. You must work hard to learn to trust yourself and your amazing talents and aptitudes - plus to trust other people - if you want to find self-realization and fulfillment. If you can overcome your pride and a tendency to overreact to rejection and disappointment, and never fear that you will be laughed at if you tell the truth, your instincts for connection and real innovation will find emotional and spiritual satisfaction. You want the same thing as your partner - to receive love - but like him you must release your need to win the acceptance of others. If you want to receive love, you need to first give it to others by cheering them up and using your creativity to contribute to their happiness. In turn, they will support, accept and love you.

  • Hello, Captain

    Can you give me an advise?

    I'm a sagitarius 9 dec 1962. My mother passed away (since last year), and I have to move to live in her house. That's 15 minutes away from where I live now and my work.

    I can not make my decision when to move. But i'ts going to be this year. My mother always had lots of plants in the garden. My plan is to move there, to start a plant nursery business.

    But I wil keep my regular job also. Or do you see me with a new regular job? I have been looking.

    Do you think that's a good decision to move?

    And also, do you see in the future that I'm gonna meet a new man? And when etc?

    Or am I getting back with my ex?

    Last year he went back to his country. He's libra 4 oktober 1962.

    I'm sagitarius 9 december 1962

  • Keep your regular job until you have enough money to try the plant nursery business.

    Move if you really want to move, if you are not happy where you are - otherwise stay where you are and sell the house.

    You and your ex both have the same life goal of wanting to receive love but I doubt you will achieve this together, unless you can stop wanting him to change. You don't have the right to change but yourself. Your partner would soon get fed up with you not accepting him as he is and he would leave you. Unless you change your ways, any person you want to be with would have a hard time living up to your expectations. You have to either learn to accept people as they are and not what you want them to be, or be alone.

  • Thank you for your advise

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