My Parents and their rocky relationship. Please help!



  • Hi,

    I know i've been on here getting readings for myself before but this time it's not for me. my parents have been in a very rocky situation for a very long time now. almost 5-6 years. my dad retired around 5-6 years ago and since then he has holed himself up at home and hasn't been social with any of their friends at all. he's always being mean to my mom and constantly treating her badly. I know they love eachother, but for some reason he's just not been a good person to her for several years now.

    I have a 4 year old niece and I don't want this having a bad effect on her either. I feel like their behavior is what makes me have doubts about relationships. I find it enormously difficult to open up to anyone because I'm scared that they are going to get angry at me or leave me. I feel like maybe this is the source as to why I can't keep a stable relationship? I don't know...

    I've never talked to anyone about this until now and I've held it inside me for a very long time. I'm truly confused. I feel like I need to talk to my mom and ask her to communicate how she feels with my dad but he's REALLY difficult to talk to and most probably will get angry at her for trying to bring it up.

    I really need some help here. Anyone's help!



  • bump



  • bump! 🙂



  • bump...please if anyone has advice. I just wish I knew where things went wrong. they were very much in love at one point in time...



  • I did a reading for you but going to research it. You're right, they have/had a strong foundation but reading also speaks of change. I'll see what I can come up with. If your dad is treating your mom that badly maybe change is what is needed.



  • thank you Daliolite. I appreciate your help! I'll wait to hear what you have to say



  • You know Scorp maybe what you view as being mean and being treated badly is something else for your mother. Often when we love someone we refuse to acknowledge that they are being mean. If it bugs you address it wih your mother. It is their relationship not yours, so they have to live it their way. Unfortunately kids always get caught in the crossfire. If you know it is wrong (well for you anyway) then you know a relationship can be different so there is little chance of you following the same pattern.

    Good luck maybe someone else can help you more.

    xPAddi



  • thank you for your words paddifluff. I appreciate it. I know you're going through kind of a hard time as well and I hope things get better for you. sometimes stress gets the best of me as well.

    My mother has told me several times that she's tired of being treated this way and she's "only human too!". it just hurts me so much to see them like this when they were very much in love at one point in time. I've told her to talk to him about it, but I don't think she has. he's a very difficult person to talk to and never talks about difficult things or situations especially when it involves high emotions.

    I'm trying my best not to follow the same patterns with my relationships, but it's hard because I feel like it has influenced me to act a certain way without me even knowing it. I'm also TERRIFIED of ending up in a relationship like my parent's when I get older. I could be in love with someone now and for even 15-20 years from now, but then suddenly the relationship goes sour and there's fighting and passive aggressiveness and meanness!

    I just don't want to end up that way. 😞



  • HI hun,

    Just for you saying what you just wrote..this WILL NOT happen to you. I told you before learn to trust yourself more. You are in control of your own destiny and if this pattern ever cross your path ...you know the signals way ahead to do something about it. Never slumber..okay?! xx

    Flow



  • You see the writing on the wall so you must be creative in your approach (how you'll deal w/this.) Somehow money (materialism) plays into this whole scenario. You're pictured as a truth-finder seeking justice. Be careful. Scorp/Virgo your financial picture may be getting better, may get a better job offer. Change is now but this story depends on how you choose to deal w/it. Your reading is calling for creativity. Change is on horizon, as far as parents but don't see them separating. Your parents can help you financially but situation may be explosive. The best I can offer you is not to take sides and be creative. Talks of parent's marriage or maybe your future marriage based on finances or money etc.

    far past--queen of coins

    past--ace of coins

    present--chariot

    below--ace of cups

    above--death

    future--10 of coins

    9 of cups

    You--Page of swords

    environ--queen of rods

    hopes and fears--tower

    outcome--knight of swords



  • ScorpVirgo, luckily for you, you realise the possibility of repeating your parents' path. Realisation of your inhereted patterns is already a battle half won. You are not in a darkness about the origin of your relationship troubles.Just know, that you can't change your parents' life, unless they want to change it themselves. It has to come from them. Your challenge is to take care of your own life and move in the right direction, correcting the deviations when they occur. Good luck to you !



  • Flow, thank you for your kind words. and thank you for being here for me! I really hope I don't follow the same pattern. it really does scare the heck out of me. I don't want to be in a loveless marriage or relationship. I've just been so down about them lately, and it hurts me tremendously when I can't do anything about it but they are my parents and I love them so much! 😕



  • Daliolite, thank you SO MUCH for the reading!! This at least gives me a little insight as to what to expect, but I have some questions if you don't mind? I'm a little confused so I'm going to break your reading down a little bit...

    Daliolite's Reading:

    You see the writing on the wall so you must be creative in your approach (how you'll deal w/this.) Somehow money (materialism) plays into this whole scenario. You're pictured as a truth-finder seeking justice. Be careful. Scorp/Virgo your financial picture may be getting better, may get a better job offer. Change is now but this story depends on how you choose to deal w/it. Your reading is calling for creativity. Change is on horizon, as far as parents but don't see them separating. Your parents can help you financially but situation may be explosive. The best I can offer you is not to take sides and be creative. Talks of parent's marriage or maybe your future marriage based on finances or money etc.

    SV's Questions/Comments:

    1. I dont know too much about tarot readings, I've been trying my best to read up as much as possible, but doesn't the death card mean a BAD thing? this scares me and it's what stood out to me when I first read your spread of cards

    2. you said somehow money would play into the scenario. is that in conjunction with this new job opportunity or with my parents or with a new relationship/future marriage? or is it all of the above? lol...I'm just wondering why there is so much emphasis on money/materialism and not on the actual relationships?

    3. when you explain me as a truth finder, I completely agree. I feel like I'm always digging deeper to find the real truth and make sure I have picked apart every detail of a situation...which isn't necessarily the best of things, but it helps me most of the time eventually.

    4. I'm glad to see that there isn't a separation for my parents in the future. I really hope things calm down for them though. they really need to start communication and have a more loving environment not only for my sister and I but for the rest of the family, especially my yound niece

    5. you're saying that my parents are going to help me financially but it may turn out explosive. help me out with what? my lease is up soon at my apartment and I'm trying to figure out if I can live alone without a roommate and support myself financially with my current income.

    I guess that's all the questions I have...I'm so sorry about all of them! 🙂



  • VoplySoply,

    thank you for your kindness and your words of encouragement!! I do see the possibility of repeating my parents' path, however, I feel like I will have to work extra hard not to do so. we are such a tightly knit family that I'm around them all the time and that environment has made me who I am today. I live in fear of losing a relationship but when I'm with someone I can't give myself to them fully because I have something pulling at me telling me not to. it's like it's pride or something? I'm not sure how to explain it. I can be a little cold I guess? maybe even demanding, but I don't notice it until it's too late and the damage is already done.

    I know I can't change my parent's life, but I have to change mine and the way I think and act in a relationship. because I really DO want a relationship. one that's loving and caring. one that we support each other and have the unconditional trust!

    you're right. I need to take care of myself...reflect and become a lighter person. I can't keep burdening myself with this. I have to become a better person mentally and catch myself "in the act" I guess and make sure I don't keep the pattern going. I dont want my future family to feel this way about me! 🙂



  • Scorp/virgo--Death over the Chariot is somewhat eased, so to speak. Both are major arcana cards which can be viewed as Life's Major Lesson cards. The court cards, queen, knight and

    page usually represent the people in your life. Father--knight, mother--queen and you--page. The Tower is also a card of change. It's in you hopes and fears. I know you don't want your parents to break-up but sometimes it seems it would be best. Some pairs of cards work together and some oppose. You had a pairing that indicated a better job. I had to research this so that I could make sense of it. I forgot what pairing it was. I did this reading in re to your parents but you came thru as well (no doubt.) Your mom is pictured as a very nice person and supportive of you. I believe she's indicated in the (your) environment as the queen of rods also. In this reading I get the impression that your dad is the strong arm and you can be to in your quest for justice. You might have to be creative in your approach w/him.



  • ps--The death card relates to the zodiac sign scorpio. It's lets me know what you bring into it Each major arcana card has its astrological equivalent.



  • thank you Daliolite! I hope things start looking up on the job front. it would be wonderful to go in a positive direction.

    do you see anything as far as love interests for me? I know in a previous reading you said I would be single for a while, but I'm just curious, lol!

    my mom is definitely supportive of my actions and decisions I make in life. My dad is also, but very resistant at first with anything that I do. He also tends to put a blind eye towards anything he doesn't like.



  • I'll try to do a reading soon. I remember a previous reading I did for you. The page of swords comes up in regards to you. My personal advice to you is to be patient and let things fall into place in re to your personal life. I myself have to remember that there is a divine plan and that everything works together for the benefit of all. Believe that everything will fall into place.



  • thanks Daliolite! I appreciate it. I'm such a bad person with being patient. I know I need to be but I'm terrible at it! lol...I'll wait to see what you have to say in the reading.

    thank you again for helping me out! I appreciate it!



  • bump 🙂


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