Would someone mind doing a reading for me? Thanks!

  • I have recently ended a relationship with a man that I truly care about. The reason it ended is because I feel he is not emotionally ready for anything serious. Do you feel that there might be a future with him or should I truly move on? I am also in limbo regarding my career. I'm not happy with my current position and not sure what next steps I should take. What do you see in the next few months regarding love and career? Thank you so much in advance!

  • This man you care for is very childlike at heart. His maturation will take many years - he has to be brave enough to let go of wanting to remain irresponsible and carefree before he 'grows up'. You should get on with your own life because you would become very lonely and frustrated waiting for this 'child' to become a man.

    Your career path will not change unless you take steps to change it. Do you know what you really want to do, workwise? Similarly unless you let go of your current man completely, there will be no 'room' in your heart for anyone else to come in. Do you know what you want in love?

  • Hi Captain, Thanks for the response. I do know what I want in love, which is what I thought I found in this man. I can see where he might come off as childlike. However, he is very mature when it comes to his responsibilities, he takes primary care of his two kids. He is such a great father, that is one of the reasons why I love him. He seems like he's very interested in a relationship with me, and initiates dates, calls, texts. I just want to make sure that he is emotionally ready. Because he was terribly hurt and betrayed by the mother of his kids and I don’t know if he can trust and love that deeply again. Him being insecure is the only problem that we have right now.

  • you come across as someone who is confident knows their worth and what they want you trust your abilities he's someone who's loving supportive loyal really true to his word responsable and warm. you see him as an ultimate man just not fully living up to his potential in this relationship like he's a little blocked in someways he's see you as little to ambitious about money or materialistic things and that you need to have things go a certain way change is not your strong suit i see some concerns about you being fearful about him and money and committment you don't want to make a wrong choice he things it's really hard for you to venture out of your comfort zone so he hesitates maybe things you're a bit ridgit . what you did was prematurely and regrettable force the issue by breaking up you now feel like you should of been a little more patientand let things play out he feels like you stabbed him in the back and open old wounds and the pain does linger he can't get over it this relationship isn't totally over but rest assured this man needs time to heal

  • typo* thinks not things .... hope this helps

  • Wow tarotlilhelper, you are right on! I do want to make the wrong choice or waist my time. Even though he says he's ready for commitment and wants to see where this relationship goes. I dont know if he's being 100% honest with himself. We are back on speaking terms, and we want to try to make things works. I do agree with you that he needs time to heal. Do you think that we can be in a reationship at this time? Since that's what he says he wants. Or should I let him go, and let him fully heal? Can he be with me and heal at the same time? Do you see a future here? Thanks!

  • i cannot tell you what you should do just what the outcome of either decision would be if you choose to let him go so that he can heal on his own and to revisit the relationship later you will get tired restless and frustrated and eventually find someone else for love and comfort you will not have the strenght to hold fast either you or him will call the other and state that logically it doesn't make sense to wait and this will build animosity between you both each blaming the other if you decide to stay now the gates are wide open and welcoming to keep this relationship going but you must adhere to some things... watch what you value cause he will watch what you value be a bit more mutable and relaxed in areas concerning money and materalism this could end up being a deal breaker you need to be warm genereous and patient ...patience being the order of the day allow him to share his fears and troubles without judgement that means don't drop him when he states his concerns and it trigger your fears cause your fears are groundless ....he is a trustworthy person he won't just leave without a good reason the enviroment must be emotionally warm for the relationship to florish remember he still must heal and that takes time

  • Thank you so much for your response, it was much needed. I do tend to be materialistic and impatient at times. I tend to want everything now! I have to realize that a good relationship needs time to develop.

  • Piscesjewel, I think that your idea of a relationship is different to what your partner wants. You seem to feel you need more commitment, such as marriage or at least an engagement, while he feels you are both fine as you are. Given his 'once-bitten, twice-shy' attitude, I can understand why he doesn't want to risk a deep commitment again. I think time is the stumbling block here - you want commitment now while your partner wants to wait for who-knows-how long. You are impatient, but rushing or pushing this issue will only alienate your partner. It all really depends on how badly you want to be with him and whether you can put aside your impatience enough to wait for him to heal and trust again. Ask yourself if you need commitment because deep down you have trust or abandonment issues yourself.

  • And someone can still carry out his responsibilities for others but be irresponsible when it comes to his own needs and wants.

  • Your right Captain, I will admit that I do have trust issues as well. I have been extremely hurt in the past. So maybe I use commitment as a safety net. Maybe I want to overly control the situation, so I don’t end up getting hurt. I know I should relax and just see where this relationship goes. However, I think it’s important to let the person your with no what you expect out of the relationship, so that there is no confusion and that your both on the same page. That's why I let him know that at this point in my life I am looking for something more serious. So if he wasn’t ready for that, he could let me know and we could both move on. He says that he is ready to see where this goes, but he just wants to take it slow. He got married only 5 months of knowing his ex wife and he doesn’t want to rush and make the same mistakes. Which is understandable, it’s not like I'm thinking about marriage at all right now.

  • What sort of commitment is it that you are wanting then - a promise, a contract, a ring or what? What would it take to make you feel more secure in this relationship? Do you feel your partner doesn't trust you enough to commit?

  • I'm not looking for a ring right this minute. However, in the future that is something that I'm going to want. And I want to know if he will be willing to remarry. I know he is reluctant at the idea, since his first marriage was a disaster. I know, he wants a monogamous relationship with me. However, trust is a big issue with him. I think it will take him a long time before he truly trusts me, because broken trust has been a big issue with him in the past .

  • Do you really need to be married - or could you be content with his promise to be monogamous? Marriage doesn't necessarily keep a spouse from straying - or is it your material security you are worried about?

    You will either have to accept things as they are because your partner is too fearful to want to commit - or move on to find someone else.

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