Daliolite: help with work reading?
Concentrate on doing your job rather than socializing. Be extra, EXTRA nice to every co-worker in your area and volunteer to help at every opportunity. At lunch time, leave the premises and do your own thing without sharing it with anyone else. Be kind, empathic, patient and understanding. Remember: honey attracts but vinegar repels. Be your BEST self!
Blessings and good fortune abound
Hmmm...my current job requires communication - lots of it. Wondering if it's my job that you're picking up on. It involves managing people and their issues, to put it broadly.
But I don't feel comfortable in this job, or any job that requires account/client servicing or lots of face to face communication. I can be friendly, fun, loving and seemingly outgoing, but really I'm quiet introverted and shy. It is totally opposite to what I like - which is to be left alone to do my thing. Also, I don't like pandering to people. I can only be friendly in so far as I really mean to. Know what i mean?
So I'm kinda feeling a sense of "now what"? Cos it seems what you are receiving is that i should be in customer service. Argh...
Firefly it's a bit hard to be helpful when everyone is overloaded. No one wants extra work including me. I am trying to be kind to everyone, cos we are all in the same boat. There is someone I don't get along with, and unfortunately we are supposed to working very closely. Lots of tension between us.
I'm sorry to hear of the tension. You can do this. I recently went into a Central Market grocery store. Had never been in one. Don't know if your familiar. Customer service is wonderful. Made me feel like a new person. Been noticing that everyone is wrapped up and busy. People will look at you funny if you just start talking to them--but overall I think people love it. Don't be afraid to express yourself even if you're not used to it. I feel I'm awful at speaking in front of an audience but very good at one on one. Know that you're not alone and we're basically all in this life thing together. Don't be self-focused. I feel you need more positive reinforcements. If you don't get them, try to create them yourself. Sooner or later I believe it'll work to your advantage. Create your own environment.
Actually I like talking to people - in a non-work sense. You cannot shut me up sometimes.
But I'm extremely uncomfortable in a client-facing role, esp where you have to deal with difficult customers. I think it would be less difficult if I were only required to possess knowledge in a specific area and there aren't too many areas of contention.
The ironic thing is that because I'm actually congenial, people like to approach me. I've had strangers come up to me in my gym asking questions about classes etc, when they should be asking the front desk people. I'm able to relate my experience to them, set them at ease, give suggestions. I realise it's only because it's in a non-work sense - I'm doing it for a fellow human being, whose shoes I was once in - that I feel comfortable. And also because, there's some expertise - I do know what I'm talking about because I was once in their position.
But my current job is a bit akin to client servicing. It isn't one time customers who buy a product and you don't see them anymore. We're expected to solve their problems and be a repository of information. I actually dread being approached at work. No matter how 'open' I've become in recent years, I still find that I'm introverted to a point of finding it difficult to work in customer service. Or maybe I just haven't found the right context.
Do you see any specific work opportunities? Also, it is now crunch time. I have to speak to my boss asap about tweaking my role/renewing my contract. It crossed my mind to sign the contract now, and talk to her later because it's actually another person who's handling the renewal and the latter has some leeway with regards to the $ aspect of it. And I am hoping to negotiate that.
If I go to my boss, with both the renewal and job role on the table, I'm a little worried she may a bit irritated by the spate of resignations and just tell me to go. But I'm not sure if it's in bad faith to sign the contract (which is a general one in which the job role is not written) and then ask for the role to be revised.
Saw a window of opportunity and spoke to my boss. Told her what I felt. Also assured her that I will stay and help my overloaded team for a few more months and she agreed we can review my role/scope after that. At least this leaves me to still look out for other opportunities in the interim.
Not sure how it will work out but for now, feel so relieved! Literally felt a little voice saying go go go, it's now or never..
Daliolite, was wondering you'd be able to tell if I'm meant to have children in the near future or beyond. Cos I don't particularly want to. But it's crossing my mind now that I'm seeing an older guy, B.
Btw, is there any advice you can offer towards my relationship with him, eg way forward?
And it suddenly popped in mind that when you had pulled feminine cards... and I said he works in a female working environment... I'm now wondering if a possibility is that there is someone from his past that he is still holding on to? A first, or great love perhaps. Or a recent relationship?
Yes, I'll do a reading on that subject. Will try and post in next day or two.
I think your boss probably appreciated that. Stay positive in all communication and try and communicate.
Don't mean to keep posting, just ideas are popping up. What is BF's birthday--I know you're Scorp.
No worries Daliolite Many thoughts popping in my head too!
Him - 13 June 73 Me - 25 Oct 79
Any advice you can offer - re the questions - is most appreciated.
With regards to the children question, can be in relation to him or anyone else, hopefully not unplanned I dunno - it just crossed my mind. Maybe it's got to do with just passing a birthday and growing older.
Thanks in advance.
Hi Danceur, What I'm getting as far as B is that his unaffectedness in situations does not help. His detachment is not helping and the cards show him as being detached and unaffected. It's almost like in a work situation someone might think they can get away or pull the wool over his eyes. Maybe he HAS to be this way for whatever reason. There's not enough tension in your relationship w/him sort of easy come, easy go. He would be better as a partner in a business than a romantic interest. Possibly creative partnership. Is he in a creative line of work. He is shown as the King of Cups. I feel in time you will leave this relationship as I feel you'll probably leave this workplace.
In the present situation--You're getting to know how you rule your world. You're gaining control by understanding and cooperation. You're gaining by inclusion (we're in this together) instead of just me. Your mastery over your environment will win rewards for you. Mastering the impossible. Big payoffs. You'll have to abandon what comforts you to take on world.
You do have ALLIES that are helping you. These allies can help you financially. Again, improve communication. Lack of positive communication can really hurt right now.
There are strong signals in this reading. I think there may be a potential to get hurt by B. My advice is to take control or do what's best for you.
I drew 3 major arcana cards for you in this reading. These deal w/major life lessons and I'm getting that they are pointing to group effort etc. Alot of what I spoke of about mastering a positive environment. Big payoffs for you if you can do it. And you may not be able to master this job but it has a lesson in this area for you. I left one of your cards out--I will mentiion it later. Hope you can relate and offer your feelings as this helps me decipher some of these cards also.
Hi Danceur, The card I overlooked was The Queen of Wands in the Challenges position. You must see environment as not so rigid. Use your creative energy to solve problems. Shows you mastering your environment paired with Strength in your situation position.
The Queen of wands (you) paired with B shows that there are certain rules that must be followed to receive love. Don't know exactly what that means maybe you do. Are you following his rules. I get a sense that your afraid to mention your wants or needs to him because you may lose him. To me this is escalated by the 10 of swords in your long term potential. You will keep feeling this way with him. B always shows up at the foundation of the reading. I just read that as he is a major component in your life. If you're waiting for him to take the lead, I don't see it. However, I do see you taking control.
above (higher power)--9 of rods
self--8 of cups
foundation--king of cups
challenges--queen of rods--more creative, feminine, taking charge
Blocks & inhibitions--Star
allies--ace of coins
advice--nine of swords
long term potential--10 of swords
With work, you are right - I am learning to gain control through inclusion. The environment is not rigid - it's that the situation makes me feel overwhelmed and powerless at times, and I'm just trying to take each day as it comes. I have tasks that I'm never able to get to, because we are operating on a backlog that goes all the way back and everyday there is a multitude of new work to be done. But yes, I feel better than 3 months ago. However, just as I've found some friends, I feel gossiped about. That makes me feel alone.
With B, I can relate to some of what you're saying. You mentioned having to follow rules to receive affection - yes completely. I'm not his GF, just someone he is seeing. And I only get to see him when he makes himself available - which these days, is almost never. So you're right - it is a bit too easy-going with us (well, all the tension is within me).
A month ago, he was attentive, sweet, reached out to me alot, texted me almost every day. Now he has become as emotionally distant and unaffected as your reading suggests. The cooling off seemed to coincide with us getting intimate. And that has left me feeling upset. Cos this is precisely the point when he could have been sweeter to me. I want to mention it, but I just never get to spend time with him. And when I do see him, he's kind, smiling and friendly. and I'm just caught in a quandary.
He is a major component in my life? Doesn't feel that way. I understand his circumstances (being busy with work, not having much personal time). That's why I've let him come to me when he can. It was fine not seeing him much, but with him still remaining in contact. But now I feel vey displaced. I don't understand what he wants with me, with this. It doesn't seem to affect him that we haven't been communicating. I don't know how to take charge without imposing on him.
The cards are speaking of inclusiion. He is sort of the odd man out. Cards haven't changed in regards to him. You're right in regards to gossip. I think the secret here is to include but maintain professional surrounding. That's true wherever and I think you probably do this well. As I read over your post, can't help but get the feeling you think this guy is involved with someone else. I just feel he wants to detach. One of the first readings I remember there was a lot of work related energy regarding him. Is he like really busy. I just don't see him committing to anything and right now--your right he has pulled away. Because he's at the foundation feel you'll continue to turn to him until you figure out why. Actually, there's a psychological meaning here as this position suggests. Something in past or something your avoiding yourself. You are actually creative in nature and may be repressing some of this natural inclination.
watergirl18 last edited by
Hey Guys -
Sorry to jump in here, but was drawn to this thread and now feel like I have something to "add"
Danceur...the SNOW ANGEL!!! Very similar to the Queen of Wands. The Queen of Wands is a career woman, but more importantly, she knows who she is and what she deserves and does not take crap from anyone. She is the self-esteem queen!
And this current guy....if you think about it you will realize that this is the same issue as your ex who was abusive with you. Not in the obvious way - I know that this current guy isn't abusing you technically, but there is an underlying energetic thread. When women are with abusers they tend to adopt the attitude or frame of mind that they need to walk on egg shells. Everything is about how to keep the abuser happy or just to not upset him. She completely forgets about her needs and is actually AFRAID to voice her own needs or opinions. It's all about him. Keeping him happy. Fixing him. This new guy may not be physically abusing you but the emotional abuse is there in a covert way. AND, more importantly, you are adopting the same behavior. AFRAID to speak up when you KNOW something isn't right or feel you are being disrespected or just not treated the way you should be. Afraid that doing so will somehow push him away. So ask yourself WHY you always feel that the man's needs are more important than yours and why you feel that simply voicing your thoughts, feelings, needs, etc. would push someone away. If it does, then the man is not worth having!!!! So this new guy is busy with work, so the "F" what? Really? Does that really excuse his behavior since the two of you hit the sack? I think not!!! I'm not saying he should be gushing at your feet and bring you chocolates and roses every day, but for God's sake - his complete disappearance and detachment? Seriously? You are ok with that?
And remember I told you the job had the same energetic issue. That's why Daliolite keeps talking about communication. You are always AFRAID to speak up for yourself or just simply state your case or ask for what you want. This is all about you and how you feel about yourself and your worth. Start taking a stand for yourself!!!!! You worry too much about how other people will react. It doesn't need to be angry and confrontational, but you do need to start asking for what you deserve and refusing to be treated as less than the Snow Angel that you are. Start being your own best friend - the friend who will fiercely protect and defend you when you are mistreated.
OK. Nuff said
watergirl18 last edited by
Danceur, You know, it's time to just distance yourself. There's an emotional and physical attraction but, like WG stated, you're being trampled on. It's important as readers to read the truth. We can't create or forsee something that isn't there. A lot of present is dealt into future. My suggestion is to become friends w/him. Be strong, it'll be hard, but he'll see you in a different light and will be the best for you. I have some of the same issues as you do. It's about creating useful and fufilling friendships & partnerships. This would be most useful as friendship. Not talking about friends w/benefits. Friends by assoc. only. I like doing readings for you because I feel they're a very helpful tool for you. WG is one of the best. This sit with B won't recreate itself. But you can.
Hi Watergirl & Daliolite,
I do hear what you're saying. Agree that sometimes, I haven't been 'fast' enough with communicating my needs in my life.
It's not that I don't react or don't speak out. It's not diplomacy to a fault. I do speak up for myself.
It's that I've realised that sometimes timing counts. Not just in the reaction of the other person but in how ready I am to voice my thoughts in the best way I can. It affects the outcome. So I do find myself waiting for the 'right time' to intervene or speak out. This is both Scorpio and Libra in me. Biding my time + being diplomatic.
Like how I waited to speak to my boss about how I wished to changed my work scope and I wasn't happy with the salary offer for the new extension. She has been overloaded and stressed and with people quitting very often recently, I knew I had to catch her at a time when she'd be a bit more relaxed and when she'd be alone - as I've seen how caustic she can get when she's irritated.
So I waited and I found my window of opportunity. And I literally heard soft prompting, "Go now. It's now or never". So I did. And I was honest but non-confrontational. And she was very nice about it. Whether or not, she was being diplomatic and insincere - I won't know for now. I choose to think she appreciated the way I came across.
A month earlier, I would have been totally unprepared to face her. I had written her an email which I never sent, and it was emotional and confrontational. Imagine if I had sent her that. By waiting till I had calmed down and composed my thoughts (yep it took a month), and waiting till she looked like she was in a receptive mental frame of mind, I saved myself the potential heartache of a bad encounter with her. I didn't do it for her - I did it for me.
And this is where I'm at with B. I do agree Daliolite with what yr saying. I have distanced myself. And I do realise that I value his friendship more that what we're attempting. Will have to see how this plays out. Thanks to all of your replies, I was able to reach in and think about what I feel and what I want. Maybe I wasn't ready to know it months ago - but now part of the picture is forming and it's becoming clearer slowly. And I already have it in mind to tell him how I feel - when I am ready, when the time is right.
Watergirl, I know I am the Snow Angel inside altho sometimes I forget, esp when things are going awry. And yes I'm all too familiar with walking on eggshells. And no I am not ok with it. Hence I have also distanced myself, while I ponder my thoughts and find the right time to convey them. I do agree that if he cannot handle my truth esp if say it in kindness - then he is not worth having. For I won't be asking from him anything less than he would want from someone else - the basis of which is honesty and respect.
Perhaps I've not always acted wisely by waiting to show my reaction when I know I'm not being treated fairly. Would like to think that somehow, I am listening to an inner voice that says that defending one's self and rights also includes knowing when to act and react.