Feeling like I'm at a crossroads.....

  • Hi there:

    I was wondering if there would be anyone out there who might have the time for a reading. I've had a LOT of negative things that have happened over the last few years for my husband and I both personally and career-wise- I feel like things are happening to us that are giving us a sign that perhaps a change needs to be made, or is about to happen to balance the negativity out. I just feel like we're at a fork in the road and we're unsure which path to take-the one that will be the right one, that is....

    If anyone could give me some insight, I'd appreciate it! My DOB is 10/20/72 and my husband's is 9/11/71. Thank you!

  • Well, what paths are you considering?

  • Hi Captain!

    Thanks for replying!

    Well, since I've recently lost my job (and can't seem to be able to find another teaching position) and my husband is really unhappy in his job, we're actually considering moving out of state to see if we need to make a fresh start. We've also been trying to have a family for a long time with no success, and are considering other options in regards to treatment or if we should just accept that we're not meant to be parents. Like I said, it just seems that there have been so many things that have happened in the last few months that's giving me the gut feeling that someone or something is trying to send us a message.....I'm just unsure what exactly it is!

  • Forgot to add that I really REALLY love what I do, which is even more frustrating to me that I can't seem to get another job in my field, and I'd hate to have to change careers (although I'd do whatever I'd need to). I just feel like everything's just raining garbage on me right now and I need to focus on moving forward instead of stagnating, but can't seem to. Any insight you could give would be wonderful-thank you!

  • I feel that moving away and your husband giving up his job is not practical at the moment and would not go well for you. Instead perhaps there is a way for him to liven up his job, take another position within the company or somehow make his work more appealing. He needs to sit down and make a list of the things he wants in a job, things that will make him happy, then try to find them in his workplace.

    I also feel that the baby problem needs to be resolved as it has the potential to come between you. IVF can be a long slow frustrating haul with perhaps nothing to show for it in the end. What about adoption or fostering children who need help? Having a child might make you reconsider whether you want to find a job or not - being a full time mother may satisfy you entirely. I feel you may be torn between having a career and being a parent, however. I am sensing it's important for you to find somewhere you feel safe and appreciated and secure, somewhere you can be yourself - and that may be the family home.

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  • Thanks for responding, Captain-sorry it's been crazy here, or I would've responded earlier...

    I also feel that relocating now isn't the best option-we did talk about it and we're shooting for 1-2 years for that. His job really isn't the place for advancement (or personal support in general)-from what they hubs says, it's pretty much a fear-based environment where if you don't work like an animal, you're out. Also, there isn't much in the way of change there, so he DID (without me suggesting it!) make that list, and is thinking about changing companies in order to try different positions in the same career field-something that uses his brain more and his hands less. Do you have any thoughts about whether he will be able to succeed?

    It's funny that you said, in regards to me being torn between family and job-since it seems that the teaching positions have dried up in my specialty it looks like I'll be on unemployment for the near future, so I was thinking that perhaps the powers that be have cleared my schedule in order to focus on having a baby. We've done IVF's with no real success (and the only "successes" have been miscarriages, but due to what we now know are my not so great eggs), but have the opportunity to try one more cycle using a donor-is this something we should pursue? I just keep feeling that this opportunity might be the missing puzzle piece to this whole issue. Do you have any thoughts on this?

  • It depends if you would be able to accept another woman as being the biological mother to your child or not? If you wouldn't have any problems, then go ahead and try. But if you have any doubts, the process will fail.

    It's good that your husband is being sensible about looking for another job - I do get the feeling that he can be a bit unrealistic however when assessing himself and his abilities and really knowing what he wants. You might be able to help him there or he could go to a professional job counsellor. I feel he may have talents or abiltiies he has not considered. I think he wants a more creative job.

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