Captain : Please help a Leo Lady out

  • Hi Captain,

    I follow your posts and answers and find you give such good advice. I have been on here before looking for answers and I am back.

    Almost 3 years ago I met a Taurus man with a Gemini moon on a dating site. He said he was looking for a long term relationship. We had a wonderful time for a few months. It turned out that he had a girlfriend of almost 10 years. She had moved to another state 2 years before and they were still seeing each other. She was coming for Xmas and I was getting dumped. He told me if I could hold back for the week she was there, then we could get back together. That wasn't going to work for me. I had no contact for about a month. He called and said he had told her about me and they broke up so he wanted to see me again. I believed him, so it was back on. We went to the beach for his b-day. He got a phone call right after we got there. He walked away and took the call. He said it was his boss wishing him a happy b-day. He was acting different after the call. I got a chance to look at his phone and it was his girlfriend. I knew in my heart that he was still seeing her. I took him home and told him I was done dating liars. Again, no contact for 2 months. I was invited to a party by a mutual male friend. I went and he saw my car there. He started writing me terrible e-mails saying I was a tramp and ruined his friendship with the man by going to his party. Then he wrote an e-mail saying his girlfriend had died of cancer. She had moved away so no one would have to see her die. Sounded like BS to me. He couldn't hurt her , of course, but he was grieving badly and had always loved me. This was of course another lie. She was alive and he took her on a rafting trip. There were even more girls besides me and her.

    We had known each other for about a year at this time. Another few months go by. He asked me to meet him for dinner. I did and he was crying, saying I needed to understand how hard it was to break up with someone after 10 years. He was going to do it and would send me the copy of the email. He did it and they were through. So now he is mine. Careful what you wish for. LOL

    I never could get over the lies he told. I caught him in a few more. Not serious ones, but still lies.He asked me to marry him on New Years. I was shocked because he is 58 years old and never been married. I said yes, but didn't feel very good about it. I have a house and he doesn't. I felt he wanted to marry me because of the security I offered. He is lazy and didn't ever do much to help me out. He also drinks way too much. I caught him in another deception so I sent him on his way. He is moving out over the next few days. I know I am doing the right thing. I would just like to hear some words of wisdom from you. He said I am jealous and insecure. I think it maybe partially correct, but I am only insecure with him. I am not good with forgive and forget. His b-day May 15, 1953. Mine Aug 5, 1951.

    Thanks in advance for taking your time to help me Captain

  • What on earth do you see in this man, RRL? Are you wanting to live in misery with him for the rest of your life? You have already found out he is a pathological liar and is abusive. I feel he is very unstable and he is definitely using you. You cannot fix him as he doesn't want to be fixed. My advice is not to forgive, but just forget this loser. You deserve so much better than him. He will not change but will continue to cheat on you even if you get married.

    Your astrological analysis says that this relationship is bad for love. Its challenge is adopting rules, or at the very least a recognizable structure, to provide guidance in everyday life. This system can take weeks, months, even many years to be agreed upon, and until then the relationship will drift according to whichever way the winds of desire are blowing, unlikely to drop anchor in a safe haven. You RRL tend to be long-suffering in love. Also where your friend will be out the door when things go wrong, you will blame yourself. A love affair between you will undoubtedly end with you grieving and your damaged but quickly mending friend on the loose. When things go well on the other hand, the relationship can be highly rewarding in physical terms, and although sexual encounters tend to bring out power struggles, their pleasure is oftern proportional to their degree of conflict. You RRL need to know when to give up on a bad thing.

  • Thanks so much Captain. You never disappoint me. I have let go and he moved out 2 days ago.. I'm not sure why it took me so long to come to my senses. The " long suffering in love " is a Leo trait?

  • Hi RubyRedLips,

    Wow this person didn't treat you right at all. Just think all of us want to be happy and sometimes this makes us stay in bad situations a lot longer than we should. Hope can be a cruel thing sometimes, and the time it takes to reach 'the last straw' is different for each of us.

    I hope you will find inner peace and happiness 🙂

  • Hi Danceur

    Thanks so much for your kind words about hope. I do think women want to stay in relationships and try to fix things. I also wonder if I didn't stay because I wanted to WIN !! Not a very nice thing or helpful to any relationship...but may be true. I was lied to and cheated on and with no contact, I got him back. Even a marriage proposal from a man who had never been married. When I got the prize and was the winner, I realized this isn't really a prize. I wasn't a winner, I was a loser.

    I want to thank you for your thoughts. Hope all is well in your world.

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  • Yes, RRL, it's a bit of a pride thing.

  • Thanks Captain and kn7. I believe it is a pride thing. So many times I have wanted something and when I finally got it I found I really didn't want it or it wasn't what I thought it was. I think he is worried about getting older and having no home. Once a psychic said he did not live an authentic life. He hurt himself a while back and is on workers comp. He will probably have back surgery. I think he wanted me because I have a home and he felt I would take care of him.

    Captain, you are so straight forward and hold back nothing. I love that about you !! Most of us looking for answers, usually have them in front of us. We just don't like the answer so we look to others to give us a different one. Thanks so much for being you.

  • You're very welcome! 🙂

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