This is a very hard ? to answer. Please try. Captain, Blmoon, PiscenHealer?? any
I have been broken up with my ex TH for 6 weeks or so. My dob is 9-2-80. His is 1-11-81. I have had a reading from Captain and help from both PiscienHealer and Blmoon and Markie808 regarding this relationship. I do believe that he is my soul mate plain and simple. I have had birth charts done for us. That said amazingly our relationship to a tee. Even a struggle with drugs was brought up. And I have read many things about Virgo and Capricorn saying that they are good matches. But after talking with friends and friends of friends it seems that "soul mate" doesn't mean anything. Apparently a lot of people are not with the person who they think is their soulmate. I have carried this feeling for him since I was 18. I ALWAYS thought of him like that. I recognized him the moment I saw him. And I have never, ever felt that since.It was like 'home" when we reconnected. However, I would not take him back at this point in time if he asked. I know he has emotional issues from childhood and a big one from a few years ago. THAT was even in our birth charts! He is a heavy drinker. Possible an alcoholic. This is not just my observation. Others have said this when I sought their council. Even he himself brought up his struggle with alcohol. That is why I would not get back with him. I grew up that way and always said I would not be like my parents. Or be a drinker. The problem that I am having is that I keep up a hope, a fantasy if you will. That he will get sober and we will be together again.I know that it would be a few years for that. If it happened. I am not going to put my life on hold. I have some financial goals for me and my daughter that I am working towards. I am wondering why I can not give up this hope? I do see a therapist if you will. He says that I am trying to heal my hurt. ? Possibly. It makes some sence.We all have issues from our childhood that make us who we are today. And I am trying to understand that. Sorry, my question is can you see at all if TH will get sober?? Will we be together again in a few years?? I know this is silly to ask of you. If you could even predict it. I just care and love him so much as a human being not just as a romantic partner. I WANT him to be healthy. I WANT him to heal from his past!!! And not just becasue I want to be with him. If you told me he would only be sober if we weren't together then I would still want him to be sober. If I loosing him means he is sober and healed than that is what is want!!! Thank you alll who answer this!
any one care to answer?? thank you!
Thank you for the question. You are having trouble letting go of your hope because it's only been 6 weeks since you broke up. Everything is still very raw for you, but you're making progress in leaps and bounds, even if you don't feel like you are.
You've chosen the right path for you and your daughter. This I feel will teach you to let go of the attachment you have for your ex because in all honesty I don't see the two of you getting back together. I feel that your time together as soulmates has come to an end, your journeys are now taking you in different directions. You've both learned all you needed to from each other.
Here's the good news. Once you have learnt to let go of any attachments to outcomes, you will find a new love in your life, someone who will take you to your next level of growth. Another soulmate if you will.
Love & light to you,
P.S Get in touch with your inner child. Go have some fun again
Oh, forgot to add. Regarding him being sober - I feel he has a very long and difficult road ahead of him. I see him being ultimately successful, but it's going to take quite a few years. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to really help him with his addictions. Sorry sdr1980, just know that he will be "glad he went through the program".
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I must say that I am a little sad. It sounds like you think he will get sober? But that we still will not be together? Did I understand correctly?
I feel like that is the only thing standing in our way. And for it to be removed and us NOT to be together? Uh It is in all honesty a fantasy. I know this intelectualy. A fantasy BECAUSE addiction is a hard thing to over come. Even for the love of your life. But inside. Where our feelings come from. I believe it to be true. I know he will not come back now. Nor do I want him to. And if he came back still drinking I know we would not be together. I know he wouldn't come back still drinking though. He wouldn't want to prove me right about him. So the only chance we have is for him to get sober.
Do you know any thing about birth charts? Why does mine and TH not only speak about these issues. But paint us as the greatest for each other?
To help ease the pain you could love him (be a friend) from a distance meaning you don't have to abandon him on every level. Could still stay in contact on phone. I think it's the total distance that's hard. I wouldn't get emotionally strung-out which in fact may happen. Alcoholism is like a roller coaster and a ride that you don't want to be on especially w/a child. Keep a little contact but you know how bad it can get.
Thank you for your response Daliolite.
You may be correct. I am in contact with some friends I met through him. And his sister but not as much as his friends. And also our old friends. So, it is possible for me to at a distance still be around him. As a friend. At this point however it is not possible for me to be his friend directly. I just say a prayer for him to heal every night. I do hope that when I am feeling less emotional. which is every week. That I could be a real, true friend to him. Since no one has to my knowledge voiced their concern for him directly to him. I really just don't know. I thought I knew what was going on here. Only to find out he WAS a heavy drinker. Maybe this is my closure. ? I still think of him as my soul mate though. I don't see how I could have any more in common with someone else besides him. that would seem unfair. To have it all. To have that connection we had. To be intune with eachother. Psychicly sp?....I have not experienced that with anyone else before. It seems so unfair for life to send me all of that from a person who I can not be with. Who has the one problem that I can not even the slightest overlook. I came from an alcoholic family. Why would the universe send me an alcoholic soul mate??/ WTH! Maybe I will be his reason to change??? wishful thinking?? Our birth charts do say that we will impact eachother for good or bad. That our relationship is joy proclaimed. that we have a truley unique and spiritual connection. It even says we may have spent a past life together.It even describes our magnetic attraction, appeal for eachother and our psychic connection. Maybe all of that and this is just BS!?? What do you think?
All I know is that I think his problem is severe enough for you to keep a distance. I admire you for having the guts to realize that because you do love him. Sometimes we have to do what's right though. Staying in contact w/friends and family is great because in reality you don't want to cut him out you just want him to get better. I don't know how entrenched he is w/his problem. Usually they have a few friends that hang around and add to the problem. So, you're not dealing w/just 1 problem but several. My ex-husband (20 yrs ago) was a terrible alcoholic and there was no other alternative than to pick-up and leave finally and I'm glad I did. Life wasn't always a bowl of cherries but it was better than what I was living thru. I was running everything anyway and living 1300 miles away from my family in my 20's. Getting involved w/something that will help you and your career, maybe schooling or church group or outing to help.
Soulmate is interpeted differently by many. For some the expectation is unrealistic. Each person has a very personal journey and less than more actually hook up with one special mate for life. Relationships I believe are often fated. I believe we make plans before birth--choose challanges for soul reasons and team up with other souls--through lifetimes--who play a part in our journey. The attraction is strong but it is not always all bliss. We do not always grow by calm. To discover our selves--our shadow side--- we often hook up with the very person who brings it to light --often the soul mate inspire us by way of conflict and mistakes and being inspired to figure things out. Some soul mates are not meant to last---in fact they challange us to walk away and that is their gift--to make us strong. Every relationship--sweet or sour teaches us something about ourselves--if we choose. BLESSINGS!
watergirl18 last edited by
Blmoon is right. Take what you can from this experience - what you learned about yourself instead of focusing on him - so that you can grow and move on to something better. Soulmates are not the ONE person we are meant to be with. They are our teachers.
"If you're still hanging onto a dead dream of yesterday, laying flowers on its grave by the hour, you cannot be planting the seeds for a dream to grow today."
- Joyce Chapman