The Cancer Man
I am currently dating a Cancer man (I'm a Sag). He is a very hard one to figure out. He seems very interested in me, but then he doesn't. I have followed all the advice about how to act with a Cancer. I initiate almost everything. I think he has only called me twice. He emails me back when I email him, but rarely does he ever email first. I don't know. I am just really confused. Pkease, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
he is playing games. I had to do all of the pursuing, and he gave only a little, telling me he loved me 3 1/2 weeks after meeting me. when i finally said it to him, he pulled way back!
he would wait 1 week or 2 to call me, I didn't call him bc I felt he was the man and I was feeling rejected when I did call and he didn't answer or he didn't reply to my texts, so I gave up calling so much.
I was honest and he wasn't, he was so afraid of getting hurt by me that he created so much drama and he hurt me.
I am still sad and hurt and it is over 9 months. He finally ended it saying I was possessive which I wasn't, but he needed a reason. And he had someone else he was hanging out with behind my back. (And at one point, he asked me to let him know if I see anyone else and he would do the same, I didn't like hearing that but I agreed, he lied to me and then said he was sorry for leading me on.
I am still hurt and confused and astonished that he did this to me, I thought he was so real and honest, he manipulated me and took me for a horrible, ride. He wasn't open with his feelings and he wasn't honest.
And even now, I want an apology from him. I miss him. he knows what he did, and he has to deal with it at some point.
I am sorry an unhealthy cancerman is behaving badly toward you. I don't have an answer, but I have experience, and if it sounds familiar my suggestion is to be upfront and tell him what you want, I wish I did that. (they feel they can't trust bc they are not trust worthy) tell him you like him to call so you know he cares.....this is my sugggestion.
Thanks Kmuse, I appreciate your telling me your story. I am sorry that you got hurt. I don't want to get hurt, but it seems I never learn my lesson - I'm always jumping right in head first. I really like this guy so I'll give him a chance. I sent him an eamil last night and still no reply. We are suppose to get together this week. He knows my schedule so I'm just going to wait and see what he does. I keep telling myself I'm not writing to him again until he replies, but I always seem to break down. Oh well, time will tell. Thanks again for sharing. Anyone else out there got any advice - like maybe a Cancer Man?
McGroogle, if he's anything like me, he's not sure yet. I hate to do or commit to anything I'm not completely sure of. Keep being the one to initiate, it shows your care, which is incredibly reassuring to us Cancers. Odds are, he lives inside his head a lot.
What kind of personality is he? Business? Average Joe? Artsy type? And how old?
He's the "Business" type. It really doesn't matter now though because he broke it off. Says he "can't" see me anymore and doesn't know if he ever "will". I, frankly, was really surprised by that. We were getting along great and out of the blue he says that. I am really hurt and at a loss wondering what in the heck I did wrong. So, Intuitive Crab, do you think I should press for a further explanation or should I just let the old "crabby" go? Being a Sag, it is hard for me to do that.
I'm sorry to jump in.
I met a cancer guy and I am exactly same situation as you, MacGroogle.
The first time, he cut the contact. I asked him if there is anything wrong. Then, after 1 week, he replied telling me sorry (and that's it).
I waited until 3-4 days more and told him that I am not into mind game, so if there is anything that I did wrong, he should tell me, and it's his choice to be friend with me. After that, he seems open to me and initiate to contact me (text and call). Then, 2 weeks later, he disappear again.
So, I just think he's back to his shell and want to be alone. I did contact him (just 1 text 1 or 2 days - just say good morning or tell him a joke). He didn't reply.
Am I right if he wants to be alone for awhile? or he just doesn't want to be friend with me?
he were born in July 21, 1983
my DOB is March 26, 1985
I've noticed sooo many cancer men are the same way. It seems that when I ignore the cancer guy they chase after me. When I give them the attention they craved they seem really cold. I don't understand them that much. This is my first day on this site and I have noticed more threads about Cancer men then seemingly any other zodiac sign. Maybe that should tell me something. These are some very complicated crabs.
I'm still trying to figure out "my" cancer guy... I met him a year ago. He intently pursued me at first, charming and smart. He claimed that he felt this irresistible connection. Obviously, I was very flattered that his gorgeous guy was interested in me. I'm a Taurus and I take all relationships very seriously. We live in different countries (though we met through work in my hometown) so our relationship was mainly through emails and chats. After a while, he disappeared with no reason; then he reappeared all charming once again. I didn't understand why he disappeared but decided to give him space, hoping that he would react and come back. For a few months, things seemed to be on the right track, as if a real thing was developing. We finally got together three months ago. Afterwards, things seemed ok, but now he has virtually disappeared again. It has taken some time but I'm coming to terms with the fact that he wasn't honest with me, he probably just wanted something casual and he played me to get me into bed. My advice would be to be upfront and tell him what you want, I don't wish for you to feel as cheated as I feel now. Best of luck!
It seems that when I ignore the cancer guy they chase after me. When I give them the attention they craved they seem really cold. I don't understand them that much.
-- do you understand why you are over analyzing too much?
This is my first day on this site and I have noticed more threads about Cancer men then seemingly any other zodiac sign. Maybe that should tell me something. These are some very complicated crabs.
-- and there are more threads about Taurus who are lost, confused and complicated. Maybe that should tell something. There are some very complicated bulls.
I didn't understand why he disappeared but decided to give him space, hoping that he would react and come back.
-- what was the whole story? missing details. please tell the complete story. what did you do why he all of the sudden disappeared? i am sure you did or said something that made him felt hesitant about you.
For a few months, things seemed to be on the right track, as if a real thing was developing. We finally got together three months ago. Afterwards, things seemed ok, but now he has virtually disappeared again.
-- are you sure both of you are "in a relationship" or is it just in your mind that both of you "maybe" in a relationship? did he tell you that you're a couple? a "virtual couple"???
It has taken some time but I'm coming to terms with the fact that he wasn't honest with me
-- FACT? that he wasn't honest with you? How can it be a FACT if it's only your perception telling you? Have you tried reaching out to him and asked him what happened? Or did you ignore him just like how he's ignoring you??
he probably just wanted something casual and he played me to get me into bed.
-- SO you had sex with a guy whom you don't know where you stand in his life?
My advice would be to be upfront and tell him what you want, I don't wish for you to feel as cheated as I feel now.
-- DEFINITELY. TELL HIM UPFRONT. Jumping to conclusions is a SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY.
2xoxoxo8, I'm starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable with your responses to me. it seems that you are seeking out my posts in a vindictive manner. In no way was I trying to insult cancer men. I just noticed more posts about cancer men than any other sign. Sheesh...what's your problem???
And there again this brings up maturity level. Tantrums are not attractive in either young or old.
Choices made are not always wise, every action has a reaction and so on. And men and women both need to grasp that polishing yon corn filled coil does not make it a golden statue. On another note..if you present yourself as slore, don't be shocked when you're treated as such. Lil' public service announcement.
Cancermen do seem to have create a lot of relationship problems and drama-making, as you will find throughout many threads in this forum.
But when they have your attention and you love them, they are like a drug, the one who loves them can't seem to get enough of them.
You may not be aware that you are yelling at people. And you get more understanding if you are calmer in your replies. However, what you say is so right on....just ease up on the yelling.
-- SO you had **** with a guy whom you don't know where you stand in his life?
-- DEFINITELY. TELL HIM UPFRONT. Jumping to conclusions is a SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY.
This is clarity and excellent awareness for everyone's situation with starting any intimate relationship.
Thank you for the enlightenment.
Thanks so much for insulting me. It must be wonderful to have all the answers and have no qualms about ridiculing others. I do hope that when you do face a tough situation, you will at least receive some empathy.
You should read the thread "Cancermen are so confusing". You are not alone sister. Believe me when I tell you, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.
Until you actually marry one, they don't know what they want. They can make you feel like the only woman in the world one minute and then like nothing special the next day. I say don't contact him, let him come to you. If he doesn't, then he really isn't interested. You can't force it or figure out what you did wrong, because it really wasn't you, it was his indecisiveness.
2xoxoxo8, you are a true Cancer. I love it!
The reason why so many get defensive, have hurt feelings or insult is because your words touch a truth that is too much to bare or they are not ready to see.
If any of you posters have gotten snippy with your Cancer interest or had an emotional tantrum, that is one of the main reasons they have backed off.
This happens so often and I as a Cancer am not offended by the negative opinions. It just saddens me because what you find so complicated is so simple to me. If I have tried to tell an interest how I feel or how I do things I'm usually met with negativity or demands. Confrontation is better avoided so If I have not developed any real emotional feelings, then this is my que to start asking questions or start to float away.
It is not that Cancers are indecisive, on the contrary. Once we have made a decision about something or someone there is really no stopping us. We just have to be sure and that is why we observe and often for long periods of time, giving many chances. No, you'll probably never figure out what you did wrong because you are probably not even aware of half your actions. Which is obvious from so many of these identical posts. Cancers pick up on subtleties and intentions that can't be hidden, though we may be blind to our own.
So many trying to convince themselves, "It's not me, it's him."
Thanks! He has reappeared, as always, caring and sweet.
But this time I'm not wasting my time. If he disappeared because he picked up on things that I am not aware of (as Crabbypants writes), then why does he keep coming back? And why should I wait around? I did wait because I thought he was worth it but I've now grown tired of it.
I am so heartbroken over a cancer man its like he has no sympathy for me now he is cold and wont call me or anything I guess when they are done they are done Its so hard for me to move on and i recommend as soon as they start dissapearing just dont wait move on because they wil alwayas dissapear and come back until one day its different and u see he is gone forever
"2xoxoxo8, you are a true Cancer. I love it!"
2xoxoxo8 is a Taurus not a Cancer.