long story, i met my cancer man online in 2006, fun and games at first, but eventually our discussions became caring. we only saw each other 3 times in 2yrs and like alot of these posts when i brought up a relationship with him he would disappear on me, but he always came back. i went through alot of personal changes in my life mostly from the encouragement of my cancer friend. i found myself, after 2 horrible marriages. i became independent and responsible, through his guidence and understanding of my situation. in sept. of 2007 i bought a house and moved my kids into their first real home. yes, i moved closer to him. he and i still chatted online but he was still elusive. in may of 2008 i found out he was married, and i stopped talking to him, but by July i needed him back. i know about his wife and the relationship problems they have. he has told me in person that he is in love with me, and that this is not fair to me. the issue he has is with leaving his kids, and he has come very close to leaving twice. now his issue is with he can give me what i want, not now anyway. his life is in turmoil...bad job, going back to school, bad marriage. we both think its bad karma, and i have told him that i will leave so he can rectify his current situation, and we can change our karmic energy, but when i do leave he always comes looking for me. I am a scorpio, i am a feeling person, spiritual if i may say..i ask for signs and alot of times i see them. he is analytical, rational. i have told him about my signs and he seems to understand and has opened up to being more emotional with me...i guess what i want to know is..is his being a cancer, hes a nurturer, he needs to be able to take care of his kids, and the new issue of not being able to give me what i want is because he cant take care of me now... am i stupid to keep holding on? so far all my signs point to us being together
I understand the type of great connection you are reffering too. But he is still married and out of respect for his wife who will probably miss him too you must stay away from him. he is a grown man he can figure out his own problems. he has to make his own decisions about his marriage. you cannot even be a friend to him at this point. he sounds like a very caring person and i am certain that is very attractive to you but until he is moved out of her house you must leave him alone. give him a chance to miss you so that IF he does leave her he will pursue you. you want his respect and if he doesnt respect his wife enough to leave her while hes dating other women online he wont respect you either. I dont mean to sound insensitive and i know how easy it is to fall for a cancer man and the feelings are so intense but if you are allowing him in your life while he is married you are putting out a message to the universe that you dont deserve a man of your own. give yourself time to heal and move on from this you are already so involved and no doubt if you are a scorpio the feelngs between the both of you are intense and the chemistry is amazing but you can have that with a single cancer man when you decide to let this one go. Best of luck to you. my heart goes out to all the women on here. you have lots of love to give be careful where you put it.
Run as far and as fast as you can. I am a Scorpio woman too. I fell for a Libra with a Cancer moon. I found out he was married.
You said two years...which means you are pretty deeply involved. The online "relationship" is the worst. It's more emotional than physical and you really get to know the person. Run, run, run.
He is not going to leave his wife. He will keep you sated with words of not wanting to leave the children. He will tell you that his marriage is unhappy. But he's not going to show up one day and magically you will live happily ever after. I promise you. Tell him that he needs to figure out his life and when he has left his wife to give you a call.
The attachment is like a drug and you will keep going back for more. You deserve better. I really feel for you...I've been through it and it's horrible.
Keep busy so that you don't think about him all the time.
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I am in a very similar situation with a married man. Can't be together, but can't let go. Like you there have been many signs and synchonicities that tie in with my involvement with my married man. Even before I ever met him, I always have believed that God brings people together for a reason and we can never really be sure what that reason is sometimes until we are in a place to look back and reflect. You've come a long way with this man. I feel the same sense of a journey together with mine, but I accept that this journey may not be for a lifetime, but simply that we need each other to get to the "next place" we are meant to be. That place for our men may only be to develop a new perspective on their existing marriages and stay put. Not a pleasant thought, but in the grand scheme of things one we need to accept, and perhaps even find joy in the fact that we could have an important role in bringing someone else's damaged lives back together.
I too told my man that he needed to be free of me, to keep clarity on his marriage, and figure out what really needs to happen. It's a serious matter, particularly with children involved. He too, like clockwork, wanders back, lol, and NOT for intimacy. We actually rarely get together simply because it's too complicated. The safest place for your heart right now, in my opinion, is to somehow find it in you to accept this man as a dear friend, just as you love your other dear friends, and know that you never have to quit loving him for who he is, but leave yourself open to the possibility that he may not be the right man for you. Keep other opportunities available, because your Cancer man may simply be part of a spiritual lesson that you also need to be ready for the man you truly deserve. And don't let your attachment to him keep you from getting out and enjoying the other people in your life who love you and are available to you. You will never find the real "right" man for you if you don't make an effort to leave lots of opportunity for a different, more available man to find you. Make sure you're out there and open to new love!
As far as the comments on intruding on the marriage, well, being in the same place as you, I have a different opinion on matters. These men are driven to leave their marriages and their promises for a reason. You did not create that need, he sought you out. It is, however, up to you to weigh out whether he is sincere about you, or holding on to you to serve his own selfish needs (whether he consciously recognizes it or not is no matter or excuse). This is not an easy matter and I struggle with it myself. There comes a point though, and you've been with your man much longer than I have mine, when YOU must be the one to draw the line in the sand and say, "I will always love you and be your friend, but there will be nothing more between us until you are free to give us both the relationship we deserve". Nothing short of feeling like you'd be sticking a knife in your heart, I know, but it's hard for me to imagine that by now you aren't completely weary of the uncertainty. Maybe you are and that's why you post here...you are ready to take back control of your destiny and happiness and move, not necessairily away from this man, but in your own direction. If he was meant to follow, then he must find the way. We both know what that means. Stay strong my friend and ask for a sign for you, keep him out of it, ask just for YOU. Then see what path reveals itself to you.