I am having a hard time moving on



  • Hello,

    as you can see I am having a hard time moving on. recently divorced (2 months ago) and was introduced to the woman in his life on Saturday last week (who he has been seeing for about a year now). She was like "pleased to meet you" and I just wanted to shake her and ask her what the hell she thought she was doing. I have "heard" that he has told her he has been divorced for 3 years already.... I still feel such anger at the situation.

    so i need some tips and advice as to how to deal with the situation please. Do i confront her (and thereby jeapordise my kids maintenance monies) or just walk away and wait for karma to intervene?



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  • http://www.bounceback.com/philosophy.php

    I am doing this...it is helping.



  • You already know the answer--follow it. You really have great insight but under emotional bombardment it wavers--keep your head and let Karma play out. Best to not seem the enemy as the day will come when she will call you for insight. She is in love right now and will not hear you and will side with whatever he tells her. Right now she only has his story but on its own things will not add up and there will be the day when she realises that he does not tell her details that do not serve his intentions. If you become the enemy he will use that to his advantage. Stay neutral--this will be the high road and not easy but it will serve you and protect you. Because you share children this is only the beginning of a long road and to avoid being sucked into drama it's best to start practicing detachment soon as possible. Your anger needs a productive outlet. It is an energy that is real. To hold it in is not good for your health and it keeps you tied to the past in a way that could have you missing the "happy bus" to a new future. Not all mistakes are failures--they are lessons and just a small part of a bigger picture---your journey. Keep moving ahead. The best cure for betrayal and unresolved anger is to live well---to make a choice to be happy. You cannot control the choices of others only your own choice. To remain consumed with anger locks you into his choice---leaves you diminished in power. Acknowledge your anger and take time to let it out---take an evening drive if you have to and scream it out. Take time to cry from your soul. The key is not whallowing in it. Have your release and then take a deep breath--give it up to God and remind yourself--ok--it is what it is now I will move forward--have goals. It may take some physical release---start an excercise program---join something that leads you away from the drama of his life. It is hard to swallow right now but truth is he did you a favour! You are going to do better so open your arms to the future and be ready and willing to RECIEVE! Blessings



  • What goes around comes around. But you already knew that.



  • Thank you everyone for the kind words.

    dmick59 - i dont want him back but it feels like i am not getting closure. he has always maintained they were just friends. this is woman number 3 - talk about taking a long time to come around.

    doeyeyedpisces - thanks will take your suggestin and look there too.

    Blmoon - as insightful as always. I do waver somewhat, I know the right thing to do is to take the high road, I just ahve these daydreams of making his life miserable, problem is it does suck me into his drama.

    Pisceanhealer - true, I just hope it does not take too long for payback. But there again, I am patient....



  • Karma does come back! What happens when she finds out that he really wasn't divorced for 3 years???? And I'm sure if he lied to her about that, no telling what else he's lied about. The truth does ALWAYS come to light. Just sit on the side lines and watch it unfold. Just keep your head held high and move on to someone who truly loves and respects you. 🙂


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