Captain - another relationship insight please

  • Hey, Captain I would really appreciate it if you can give me some insight into this. I met this Taurus guy (got rid of the aries) and felt a strong connection, I opened up to him shared everything with him, and talked to him everyday. We became really serious over 4 months of knowing each other and even though things were moving pretty fast it still felt right. The problem is lately he's been telling me that he needs to think about us, which started when he decided to tell his family about our relationship, he has a totally different culture from anyone I have ever dated which made it hard for me to completely understand but I was willing to work through the problems with him because I care about him. He's syrian so he has certain rules to follow and his family isn't to happy with our relationship for certain reasons, and because of that he started giving my the cold shoulder and telling me that's he's confused and needs time to think. We recently ended it because it seemed like he couldn't get past that and even though we talked about it and decided to still continue to be together, in the end he felt it wouldn't work. But I feel that he actually loves me and just doesn't know what to do, so I guess I want to know if everything is going to work out. My birthday is 2/28/91 and his is 4/29/86

  • Your friend needs security - the sort that comes from family life and it is his original family that he looks to for stability at the moment. If they are unhappy with him and his choices, it makes his home life difficult. So he will defer to them to keep the peace. And can you honestly say you are ready to commit yourself to one person for the rest of your life? If your friend did commit to you, he would want your undivided attention, fidelity and time, and you are a free spirit who doesn't like too much restriction. Are you prepared to play a very traditonal female role as wife and mother to your husband who would rule the roost quite firmly, even rigidly, as the boss of the household and of you? Make sure that your dreams are realistic ones and not romantic fantasies of what married life might be like. You would always be seen as unsuitable by his family who would make your life very hard - unless your husband broke away from them altogther and I just don't see that happening. He is a very traditional and family-oriented person.

  • First I want to say thank you Captain for taking time out to answer my question. To answer your question I honestly seriously thought about everything you wrote here because I know that he is a very traditional person and that is what I look for in my relationships; someone like this most guys I run into don't care for serious relationships and marriage. That is something I admire about him. I really have no problem with the guy running the house so I don't think I will find anything wrong with him taking over, but if it's to the point where he wouldn't let me voice my opinion on certain topics than it might be a problem. Now the issue with his family is really what's bothering me.

  • Unfortunately the fact that he is very traditional may attract you, but in this case it also works against you because I doubt he will go against his upbringing. I feel he would like to keep you as his girlfriend/mistress, while marrying someone else whom his family approves of.

  • Thanks captain, he just recently texted me saying that he wants me to still speak to him and can we be friends.

  • We have completely ended things, I've took into consideration what you told me Captain about him not going against his upbringing but for a moment it seemed like we went pass that and he wasn't going to let it make his choices, but recently he changed on me when he moved to Minnesota for residency and I don't believe the change has anything to do with the family and I really need some closure, if you don't mind can you please tell me what went wrong?

  • As you thought, he could not go against his upbringing and chose to move away rather than face you to tell you it was over.

  • I didn't really think much of him moving to Minnesota because he did relocate a lot during our relationship for his residency, I just felt like it had nothing to do with his upbringing or his family, like something else made him distant.

  • He is putting distance between you. He likes to move because it means he doesn't have to face his problem of how to explain you to his family. He tends to avoid difficulties rather than face them and will go with what his family wants rather than make waves.

  • Thank you, for helping me understand this.

Log in to reply