To the Captain

  • Angeline, I don't read tarot cards but there are others here on the forum who do.

    I feel you need to tell Rudolf that you want some tenderness and affection from him and if he feels he cannot give it to you, you must look elsewhere. He may not realise that he is coming across as cold and might think he has been quite warm to you. Everyone has a softer side but it sounds like some bad experiences may have made Rudolf harden his heart against being hurt.

    Good for you that you are examining how you communicate!

  • Thank You Captain! Will try to do so 🙂

  • Dear Captain,

    I was thinking generally about my relationship with opposite sex and I have to say that it has never been normal and ordinary. I am almost 30 years old, but I never had a stable relationship. There is always something- he is married, he is just breaking up with his girlfriend... and I can not say that I don't have attention from men - very attractive men. It always starts very promising, but then it stuck's in a certain position,where we don't get closer, but we are just hanging around. I know that I had problems with trust and beeing too bossy trying to protect myself so I could't be honest to my potential boyfriends. But I was seeing a therapist for few years to work with my self, but all I have is a different vision of life, but still no real relationship. Captain could you tell me what could I do for myself to find more happiness in my private life?

  • Angeline, something in you seems to draw you to men who are already involved with other women. Could it be you are afraid to try someone who is available? Maybe you don't really want a full time relationship - your trust issues might be preventing you from getting too deeply involved for fear of being cheated on or let down.

  • There was a time when I really didn't wanted to get involved in very close relationship, because I didn't know how be with another person and I was too

    afraid. But about two years ago I felt ready to try, but it didn't work out because he just wasn't right person for me. Since then I have tried to have relationship, but it never works out - one of them I didn't like at all in the end, other wasn't right for me as well, then one is married, one is still breaking up with his girlfriend, one is too cold and doesn't show enough affection and one is too young and doesn't want to have relationship. That makes me wonder - am I too choosey, or I pick the wrong guys, or I don't know what I want... Although I really know that I want a stable relationship and to make a family. I have to say that I start to see why you said that Martin is suitable for romantic relationship and Rudolf for marriage. I can see those different qualities what they have what make them more suitable for each relationship type and that is amazing because I would probably never pay attention to that. 🙂 Thank You!

  • You're welcome - and you will gain more and more wisdom about who is right for you the more you become knowledgable about relationships. The way to do that is simply to experience them and keep your eyes wide open. Never give your heart until you are absolutely sure you have found the right person. Simply hoping that they are will not do.

  • Hello Captain 🙂 When You write about my relationship with Rudolf You said '' the indications were that the relationship was somewhat dangerous for you both since neither of you would hesitate to draw back or break it off, should the relationship run counter to your interests or wishes.'' Could You please explain what is the meaning of - neither of you would hesitate to draw back or break it off ? I really don't understand 😞

  • It just means that one or both of you would exit the realtionship (either temporarily or permanently) if your needs and desires were not being fulfilled.

  • Then I don't understand how does that compatibility works. So even if we could be happy together we might never figure out how to get together?

  • It means you have to make sure both your needs and desires in the relationship are satisfied if you want to be happy. Have you talked openly and honestly to Rudolf about what you want and what he wants from your relationship?

  • First we would have to talk about our desires to have serious relationship with each other 🙂 For now we are just seeing each other now and then. I'm not sure what he wants, but i'm starting to realize that I would like to try to have something more this time, but of course I am afraid to talk about it because of possible rejection. And I am thinking, that if he wants a relationship with me I wouldn't have to ask him, it would just happen or I would feel that he wants that. But I don't know what's going on at his head and heart.

  • You will have to overcome your fear of rejection if you want to have a deeper relationship and get the answers you need. Your fear might be the very thing that leads him to reject the relationship. You have to take a chance and open up if you want him to trust you and share himself with you.

  • Well I didn't had a chance to talk to him face to face but to wrote him that I lately have worm feelings for him but he just didn't reply nothing at all. I don't think that he knows how to deal with feelings at all to be honest. But I don't think that I can help him with that because we are not that close. So I don't know is there anything that I can do about it, but I have to say that I really am thinking about him lately and I would like to be with him.

  • Dear Captain,

    could You please do a compatibility reading for me ( 13 November 1983) and him ( 8 February 1980). Thank You! 🙂

  • Angeline, this is not an easy relationship for love but the two of you can dow ell in a variety of endeavours, however. A love affair or friendship here will usually be intense and committed. An affair will be highly passionate and a friendship devoted, but if in addition to the personal, there is also a social aspect to the relationship, and in particular a cause to which you both are dedicated, you may to some extent neglect the private life you have together. You will then often be faced with a hard decision - which should you devote more energy to, the social or the personal? In the best-case scenario, however, there is room for both in equal measure.

    This particular combination often combines a marriage and a working relationship, with relatively good success. The relationship gives you both an unusually high capacity for commitment, as well as tough pragmatic attitudes and the ability to see things through. To understand how strong this pairing is, you have to look at it over the long term, since it can be expected to feature a lot of ups and downs along the way. You Angeline will probably view your friend's wilder energies with suspicion and may demonstrate a condemning side that will be intolerable to him - he tends to be nervous in any case. Be as open as you expect each other to be and try to ride over the rough spots. Get your priorities straight and don't take this relationship for granted. This matchup can be grounded, dynamic and devoted - just watch for and deal with its weaknesses of condemnation, intolerance and nervousness.

  • Thank you very much Captain! 🙂

  • Dear Captain, could You please do a reading for my friend? Her birthday is on 1985, October 25 and John's on 1969, Jun 9; and Martin's on 1979, July 4. Thank You very much!

  • Did you want me to compare all these dates for romantic compatiblity to your friend?

  • I mean a romantic compatibility reading for my friend Lisa(1985, October 25) and those two guys -John(1969, Jun 9) and (1979, July 4) 🙂 Thank You!

  • Lisa and John: a love affair or marriage here could eventually become very isolated from the rest of the world. A love relationship is quite possible, but it will almost always emphasize issues greater than the partners' personal feelings for each other. Should external outlets for their twin leadership energies be denied or unavailable, frustration will often result, and the relationship's energies will turn inward - potentially quite a destructive outcome. This pair works best as team leaders on some project (in clubs, schools, artistic or business enterprises etc.) rather than in love. Their relationship will focus more on their joint impact on the world around them rather than on their interactions with each other. They have critical and verbal skills that meld well, and working together in publishing, journalism, teaching, languages or translations, and even perhaps politics or law will give them great success. However, getting stuck together in a stuffy, boring or academic pursuit would be immensely frustrating for them. As a team, they must use their talents to convince, to stimulate, and ultimately to lead others to high achievement, be it in more popular or esoteric areas. Another danger here is that the pair will lose their broad vision, feel unappreciated, and retreat into a narrow circle of admirers, preaching to the converted. They do best when capable skeptics disagree with them and put up some real resistence, challenging them and provoking them to higher expression. So they are good as a team but would be rather impersonal to each other as lovers.

    Lisa and Martin: this emotionally complex combination can produce a mix of pleasure and pain. If the relationship is to grow, a structure will have to be agreed upon enforcing objectivity, individual expression, suspension of judgmental attitudes, and above all an analytical insight capable of detecting and fending off hurtful remarks. Sensitive Martin has a vulnerability to criticism that could allow him to be dominated by Lisa. She pulls no punches, and Martin's injured feelings might become habitual. Yet Martin has a knack for ferreting out a person's weak spot and will use it when under attack. Both of them have a tendency to obsess, a habit that could become a dangerously pleasurable connection for them. Their love affair can go deep - so deep that there is a danger of a dependency on the relationship's emotional highs and ecstatic sexual experiences. The demand for increasing intensity and frequency of these experiences could stretch both partners' delicate nervous systems to the point of crash. Breakdowns induced by rejection, jealousy, or fear of abandonment are ugly scenarios; schedules set up to moderate emotional contact can greatly reduce their likelihood. Such structures sometimes come more easily in marriage, which imposes a lot of objective daily routines that can have the effect of creating a sense of order and regulating feelings. The danger also exists however that a marriage will ultimately develop a rigid structure that will suppress deep feelings and heighten frustrations. This relationship will only succeed and survive if its partners can achieve a happy moderation. Going to extremes here will be very destructive.

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