Insight into 'third wheel" in relationship

  • I have been dating a man for 7 or so months and he came into the relationship with many friends who have now become common between us, but there is a woman who has attempted to befriend me with what I believe to be ulterior motives from early on. I believe she is in love with him. Honestly. We women can 'sense' these things. I am an easy going person where relationships and friendship is concerned. However, there is something about her that isn't quite right. She's always in the peripheral. I've talked to him openly about this and he said he would address it. He has talked to her and unfortunately she's not getting the point that he sees her as just a friend and is in a relationship. She has inserted herself even more deeply into our circle of friends and consequently our lives. We are public figures, so she is free to 'show up' at our events. And she does! I trust my partner 100%. He has no problem communicating and is a very honest, sweet man. How do I address this with her? do I? Insight would be most appreciated in whatever form.

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  • And why do you dislike manipulative people?

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  • Yes.

    I just noticed you asked for insight in "whatever form". I am honestly not being obtuse here. Whenever I read your post I get the urge to tell you to dig deep. To look within yourself because this woman has come into your life to help you resolve some deep seated issue.

    So if you are not worried at all, why do you feel the need to address it with her? What do you think you will accomplish?

    Dig deep.

  • JetCityWoman,

    I agree with PisceanHealer - the answer is to dig deep. Obviously, your relationship is not as solid as you claim it is or you are just not as secure as you claim to be. Either way, the problem is not this other woman. If both your relationship and you are as secure as you claim, then why do you feel threatened by her?

    The third option is projection. The best way to explain projection is..."You know, there's something about that woman I just can't stand about myself."

    Focus the energy inward instead of outward in order to resolve the issue.



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