Need some relationship help



  • I've recently started spending a lot of time with my ex, but it's really confusing me as to if she may want to try again officially. It's been about a week now and the closeness that we had just seemed to come back right away. What confuses me is that she seems to be fighting herself or something like that because she doesn't like to be touched (even holding hands), but doesn't mind the touchy stuff in private. Every time we see each other she'll say "I don't like you" and then hug me. We can spend all day together and when it's night, say 4am, she'll want to sleep by herself so she'll go back or I'll go back to my place (she moved out of my apartment into another one one floor up). Last night she started to cry a little bit when we were holding each other in bed and then she just said she was tired and that I should go even though I know she never really is going to sleep when she says that to me.

    Can anybody give me some insight? I'm really confused as to what is going on. If this helps, my DOB is 2/19/82



  • Hi law,

    I don't think you're the confused one. To hug someone and say "I don't like you" is contradictory.

    She seems to need your company as a friend and not a lover. She may be in a situation that she knows will hurt you and so she keeps trying to distance herself away from you.

    You need to ask her what's bothering her and ask her to be totally honest with whats going on in her head.

    Good Luck, and blessings to you.



  • Sounds to me she is the one who has no idea what she wants n projects it onto u. It shows 4 now she needs u as a friend n not as a lover n boyfriend.

    Question is bc this can go on for quite some time, will u put up with it? more is it fair to u that u permit her to treat u as she does?

    Its as she uses u as a rebound to get over what u once has.

    if u place urself in her shoes n fell think what she does to u if u did them, how would u feel? Its a i dont think i can come through this alone so i need u n yet i dont bc so n so.

    i dont feel this will go anywhere but a more painful break up. Yes u may ride on familiraity but how soon b4 the bad stuff returns? is it fair to take that trip again? i feel second time it will b more raw b bloody, it will take longer to heal.

    to me its i wanna be with n then i dont, n i fear being alone bc i doubt ill find a new one like u.

    if this has to work she needs to know that treatment she gives u is NOT okay, bc it aint. Consider if leaveing once n for all aint the best here, at least until she gets her head on straight.

    overall i juss feel she is scared to b alone n faced with what she did wrong to ruin what happen between u. Now i dont know what went wrong but i know it takes 2 to tango ......................

    Question, has she ever shown acted that when she fouled up made a mistake in ur relationship that it was all else n never herself ? i ask bc i sense she is a person who cannot stand or cope with being caught n shown her own mistakes flaws n less manipulative sides.

    it almost feels she tries to get u to take the blame 4 ur break up on u when u both has had part init, .......................... i get this from the stay no go no stay no go

    My advice, stay away from her for some time, then look at it all objectively n deside is a revisit what u really want.

    cwb


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