Advice from TheCaptain



  • TheCaptain i would be greatful for some insight from yourself.

    I've recently been contacted by an ex after 5 years and would like to know if there holds any future. I've been trying to letting go of my ex for 9 years but she always contacts me after a few years of breaking up.

    My DOB is 26/10/1981 her DOB 23/02/81 i am reluctant to take this further for fear being hurt agian but something in the back of my head tells me otherwise.

    Thanks



  • Hi Captain-

    The voice in the back of your head. is always very enticing. It's the voice of old habits. You will keep running into the past until you remember that in this case it never went right. What makes you think this is the time it will finally take? Magical thinking?

    Your time of lessons goes on forever. Let go of impossibilities. Always ego anyway, the ego that says "I can do it", even though the truth is otherwise!

    linny



  • Hi Captain-

    The voice in the back of your head. is always very enticing. It's the voice of old habits. You will keep running into the past until you remember that in this case it never went right. What makes you think this is the time it will finally take? Magical thinking?

    Your time of lessons goes on forever. Let go of impossibilities. Always ego anyway, the ego that says "I can do it", even though the truth is otherwise!

    linny



  • Scorpiolackinglove, this relationship really works best as a friendship. The physical attraction here can be pronounced and may draw you back together time after time, despite your different approaches to life. This relationship brings out both your philosophical and serious sides but you still can have fun together. The main focus is a respect for tradition, a consequent desire to do things properly, and a solid pragmatism that lends it support to any project you undertake together. Although you are the more practical, scientific and factual and your ex is more theoretical, metaphysical and dreamy, you can still come to respect each other's ideas and beliefs if you try hard enough.

    There is usually an easy, pleasurable interaction here and as lovers the two of you may indeed give yourselves over to the unbridled pursuit of pleasure which can result in some highly sensual interactions. But the real need here is for self-understanding. If you two are unable to gain any psychological and emotional awareness, you will be helpless when struck by depression, anxiety, or grief. Your relationship can be prone to obsession or addiction, both of which seems to serve the dual purpose of providing pleasure and preventing pain, but eventually leads to a breakdown. There can be a lack of thoughtfulness here, and jealousy and antagonisms can prove divisive. Serious thought should be given to these matters before going any further with the relationship. Don't be fooled by the physical attraction alone into thinking you will have a good relationship in all other areas.



  • Really appreciate your insight TheCaptain, i've always been sceptical about about horoscopes and astrology for a long time but i think thats more to do with not wanting to know the truth.

    When you read about Scorpio and Pisces relationships they always describe it as a perfect/excellent match but obviously theres more to just having compatible horoscopes.

    What you've described is pretty amazing, probably what i have suspected but love is blind like they say. I've never pursued her after breakups in trying to cut off ties and move on but it seems she always finds a way of contacting me again. It can be so frustrating when trying to sever your ties with someone. I have been thinking about this for so many years wondering if we can really work as a couple but i think I have found an answer/closure now.

    We have always had some special connection and a lot of history but like you have described its probably been more down to the physical attraction which has gven us that bond.

    Greatly appreciate your advice on this.



  • TheCaptain- I would appreciate your insight on my relationship, I am confused and frustrated on which way to go, can you help?

    I have been in a relationship now for 11 years and always stood by it regardless of how my partner has selfishly behaved. I am at a turning point in my life where I have begun to realize that I have needs as well and embarked on my own endeavors however have been made difficult by the ones that should support me the most. They are only okay if they don't inconvenience him, or at least that is how it appears. It is now, when I have begun to separate and gain independance, that the support is shown for those endeavors. Is this person only trying to keep me or are they being sincere or am I being selfish? I never put a thought into ending it before now but now seems like there is no other option for either of us to be happy.

    Birthdays:

    Mine: 10/27/76

    His: 12/19/75



  • Loveallthingstrue, please start your own personal thread by clicking on the "Create a new topic" button at the top right of the page and I, and others, will answer you there. That way the vibes do not get mixed up.



  • Scorpiolackinglove, makes me wonder whats shes up too all that time in between before she finds you again, and what shes looking for? is her goal to start a relationship over and over each and every time with you with the best of intentions and it just doesn't work, or does it seem more like shes dropping in when other things fail? like a back up plan? or a safety mabe. It sounds like you want to cut ties, but find it really difficult because of the history, if thats the case and its easier for her to come and go then she may need to be made aware of what you want out of any contact/relationship with her and see if she can truly just be a friend or sever ties all together, she may not realize that it messes with your emotions too. If you did have someone in your life one of these times she may potentially cause trouble there.


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