LOOKING FOR ADVICE FROM CAPTAIN ABOUT THE SCORPIO MAN IN MY LIFE.



  • THIS IS FOR CAPTAIN...I was told that you are amazing and I should start a new blog requesting your advice. My post was titled Totally confused about the scorpio man in my life...please help. I put my initial post here again for you to see but the rest of what I have wrote since then is in my blog. If you are able to read this and what is on my blog that would be great and I would really appreciate it. I really hope you see this and are able to help me...thanks!

    I have been seeing this Scorpio man for about 10 mths now and I've never been more confused about anyone in my whole life. I have never dated a scorpio before and I find them impossible to figure out and understand. First things first he has never let me know where I stand with him no matter how many times I have asked and when I do he seems to just get annoyed with me for needing to know. I feel like every time I need to know something and ask him a direct question he won't give me an answer or at least the one I am looking for. He'll just say something else and not give me an answer. It's like he just wants me to figure everything out myself and not ask questions... he hates explaining things. So because he has never let me know where I stand he has never called me his girlfriend though I have been told that he has referred to me as such before just not infront of me...he has always been around in my life spending time with me and taking me places no matter how much we fight and how much he pulls the disappearing act and ignores me when I have angered him or he is going through things in his life. He says things to me referring to himself as being alone and says when we are fighting which he calls me having hissy fits due to not getting my own way that it's no wonder I am alone...I just don't get it cuz he always comes back. However when he is angry he texts me lashing out with insults and putting me down and calling me names. He is very mean a lot regardless of how sensitive I am and how much he knows he is hurting my feelings and upsetting me. I feel like no matter what I say or do I am not doing the right thing in his eyes and doing something wrong. Even when the fight is due to something he has caused he always blames me and points the finger at me and it's like he punishes me for it. I feel like he just refuses to take any of the blame for anything. It's like you just can't win with them no matter how much you try. I have to add that he was burned really bad in his last relationship and he has a very hard time trusting and he still tells me he doesn't trust and I have been involved with him nearly a year. I feel like all I have done all this time is try to show him and prove to him that I am caring, genuine, trusting and 100% loyal but it's like he just won't acknowledge it to be true. He says all us women are the same and we have an evil darkside and it's as though he tests me all the time to see how far I will go based on what he throws at me to see me at my breaking point and see what I will do if angered enough. He has know from the beginning that I want a serious relationship and I have tried a million times to tell him how I feel about us and about him and his behaviour towards me, how much he is hurting me and he just tells me to stop pressuring him and I might just get what I want. I just don't understand why he won't let himself get close to me. When he started to get close to me in the beginning it was like almost as quick as it happened he suddenly pulled away like he was afraid to get attached or be commited. I thought that maybe this was because of all the **** he was going through with his ex who was putting him through such **** (legal matters) so I've give him the benefit of the doubt hoping it would get better with time ...He is not an affectionate guy at all and not just with me that is just the way he is. He is very much content or so he says with being alone cuz he says it's less headaches. He also likes to tell me when we are in a fight that we are not compatible and to move on but what confuses the **** out of me is that he keeps coming back no matter how many times he says that stuff to me and tells me it's my last chance. This past week he has totally shut me out, no text, calls, or coming by so few times I tried to contact him and he wouldn't answer my question asking him what's going on. He is acting like he does not want me to text him anymore and this past saturday he text me early in the morning and told me to try using the phone...so I did and he didn't answer the phone so I text after and no response. I can't stand all these mind games and leaving me racking my brain as to what is going on and what I should do. This seems to be the longest amount of time he has stayed away...do I keep trying to show I care by trying to contact him or do they not like you to chase them...should I just try and wait it out and see what happens...I am really loosing patients I hate the waiting and wondering thing it drives me crazy...can someone please help me figure this guy out and what would be the best thing for me to do?



  • Scorpions have the hardest time letting go of people from their past, so it is pretty typical behaviour for your friend to stay connected to his ex, even after their relationship ended. They are very possessive people. He is also your opposite in the zodiac so of course you are nothing alike. He is into emotions and drama - and you are not, preferring a more physical connection which he certainly can provide in the bedroom and with his sexually attractive persona. He will also want to know everything about you but prefer to tell you nothing much about himself. Mind games, secrecy, revenge, and manipulation are the hallmarks of an immature Scorpion.

    Can you supply the exact birthdates and/or photos of yourself and the Scorpio guy so that I can tune into your vibes and give you more details?



  • Thank you very much for your advice...I must add though that he hates drama and seems cold at times as if he doens't have much emotion however I know he does deep inside he just doesn't want to show it I think. I on the other hand hate drama too but I am an extremely emotional person and when I have cried infront of him it seems that he doesn't care and it isn't affecting him in the least. His birthday is October 28th and he is 48 this year and my birthday is May 7th, 1976.



  • Drama is not just screaming and hair-pulling. Pretending to be cold and mysterious is a drama. Anytime someone pretends to be other than who they really are is a piece of drama.

    My birthday is May 7th also, though a different year. 🙂

    This is a difficult pairing for love. Its main focus will be mental stimulation and communication, perhaps a shared interest in books, puzzles, games and feats of memory and reasoning. The connection between you is often so close that each person knows what the other is thinking, even though you have such different approaches to life. You may have an aversion to your friend's dark side - especially when he comes on too strong or too cold - but you may also be fascinated by it. The determining factor for success here is whether or not your emotional communication is as good as the mental variety. Empathic bonds are somewhat rare here in this combination since you don't feel all that comfortable living by or dealing with your emotions and will usually resist the kind of psychological scrutiny that is your friend's speciality. Even so, sympathy and understanding can become a trademark of this relationship - as long as you are both determined to make them so.



  • Thank you again for your advice...that is funny we have the same birthday just different year:) I'm sorry but I am still confused as I am trying to figure out weither or not this man actually really cares about me and if he will ever get past being burned in the past by a women and move on and have a real relationship with me. Have you had the chance to read the other things I posted in my blog??? Is it normal for a scorpio to push someone away when they are not happy with their lives but still care about you at the same time. He has said how can you make someone happy if you are not happy. In the beginning when we started to get close he suddenly started backing off...maybe he felt like once he had me there was no challenge left I don't know. Then he would tell me things like I'm not into it right now you are(meaning a relationship). He would also always tell me to stop pressuring me and I just might get what I want. I wonder if he will ever want to be with me after he gets to a better place and straightens his life out. When we go places people refer to me as his girlfriend and he never corrects them. When I ask him about why he never does he said they can think whatever they want I don't care. He has never been the type to let what others think of him bother him. It was a rare occasion when it came to intimacy and I couldn't understand why...is it because that is there way of showing their love for you because they are supposidly such sexual people? I should mention though that he isn't an affectionate person, even to his children. He's so not the huggy, kissy type. What upsets me is that he has this aweful view about women I'm assuming from being burned. He thinks all women are the same and we all have an evil dark side. I have tried to make him see different but it doesn't seem to matter what I say, he is totally fixed on his opinions. Often when I have done something nice he has treated it as if I just doing it expecting something in return which I am not. He has also said when it comes to women and relationships that he has been there and done that and doesn't need it anymore...he claims to be just fine solo. I often wonder if it is just a show because he never ever would let me know where I stood with him and when I would ask why he never called me his girlfriend he would treat me like I was being childish in needing to know. This man has confused me to no end. I never know what I should or shouldn't do to make him see how much I love him even though I'm sure he already can see that I do. I just keep hanging on to the hope that once he gets his life back to some form of normalacy and hopefully get happy again that he will want to be with me again. Am I crazy for hoping and wanting to wait it out and see???

    P.S. Sorry if this message is all over the place...my mind is all over the place when it comes to this guy.



  • Does it mean anything that he still brings me places with him to see family/friends...not as much as when we were dating but he still does. I'm so clueless!



  • I just thought of this ...a close female friend of his that I know was talking to me one day and we got on the topic of him and I was saying how badly I wish he would see that I'm a genuine, trustworthy, caring, loving person and stop refusing to believe it to be the truth and she said it's because he has never had it before. So I wonder ...has he been in love and just not gotten it back as much as he gave? ...this is what I am guessing...maybe that would explain his crazy behaviour towards me.



  • Taurus--Not trying to intrude on your discussion. I posted something on another forum that you just commented on. I believe we could really help each other out. 🙂 I'm a Scorpio, with Aquarius moon, and my guy is Taurus with Scorpio Moon. His bday is May 6 and mine is Nov 13th. I'm 10 years older than him though! lol Let me know if you would like to chat.



  • Ok sure we can chat and if we can help each other out that would be great cuz as you can see if you read what I am in so much wonder.



  • Taurusgirl, I am getting a strong feeling that, because your friend has been burned in the past by women and has this great suspicion of them, that the only way he feels safe is to control them. And in your relationship, he is the one running the show with you trying to please and appease him. Which is just how how wants it - if he keeps you in check, then he feels less threatened. He uses his coldness and withdrawal to keep you hooked, dangling on his strings. It makes you try harder to keep him around, to do his bidding. But love and equality can never thrive when control is the greater part of the relationship.



  • Hey Taurus Girl dont mean to intrude are you doing ok havent heard from you in a few days, hope your ok 😃



  • Hey Asia118X thanks for the message:)...I am ok just been really busy and doing what I can to try and get the heck over this guy. It's so hard when he is living so close and I always have to see him driving by or if I go out I often see him on my way walking to where ever I am going...that makes it really hard for me. Anyways how are you? I hope all is well.



  • @TaurusGirl7: Not trying to intrude, but this paralleled my last relationship so I hope this helps a bit:

    I'm a Scorpio female (30) and my last ex was a Scorpio male (33); pulled the exact same act - I'm more evolved, aware of negative tendencies and willing to internalize and do the work - I'm also a woman, so I'm a bit on the softer side however, that said - he IS running the show, as Captain said. My ex said the same things about women, had the 'legal' bs of his ex (she used him to get an immigration card, then filed an Order of Protection, pressed charges so she could refuse and delay a divorce until the proper amount of time [2 years] had passed, and her status as a citizen was safe - then dropped the charges and filed for divorce! A very common scam). He was also raised by controlling, cold, jaded and manipulative women - he always said things like 'the only reason women cry is to get sympathy'; 'all women are the same - it's always the man who takes the blame, never the poor, sad woman'; 'women take advantage of men and it's unfair in this country', 'women get to abuse men and get away with it, they're all manipulative and evil'. Yes, he was acting like a jerk b/c he'd been burned (who hasn't?!) and I even (hard for a Scorpio, trust me on this) put myself out there when he was wrong to try to prove myself to him - trying over and over to simply explain that I was there and loved him; it never worked. The more I cried, the more he felt in control. The more I 'let it go' in the hopes he'd 'wake up and see', the more he felt he could get away with it.

    I loved him (and still do, unfortunately) very deeply as when he was 'stable' he was very loving, sensual, generous and accommodating but he had issues. Plain and simple. He was only ever that way when he absolutely got 'his way'. Very immature.

    The ONLY way he came around, freaking out and chasing me down was after I'd written him a long letter (email) expressing everything I felt and stopped responding to his emails/calls/texts as much as I had been; only responding with 'you've read my feelings; I'm willing to talk once you can take responsibility, act mature and show me that you want to TALK, no games' - short answers, to the point, honest and never initiating that contact, only in response. For a while, he still felt the need to play games, try to press me, pick at me, etc. Eventually he flipped, came running back and started consistently trying to instigate an argument seeking attention in any way! This man, who had constantly shut me out - same thing 'try using the phone' then wouldn't return or answer my calls - was now freaking out on me as he was no longer the priority in my life. After a few months, he started texting me trying to explain how he feels (still sounding selfish, but more open) and he hasn't stopped trying to win me over since.

    I had to write here b/c it mirrored my situation and really hope you have success, but it seems that you've done your fair share of trying here and you're only being met with resistance. He's willing to take you out and hang as long as you don't discuss your feelings... that's completely unbalanced and unfair. 10 months is a fair amount of time to have an understanding.

    In any case, I hope that gave you some minor insight, or helps in the slightest way as I know how difficult it can be. Trust me, and I'm a fellow Scorpio! I'm just a mature one...

    My suggestion to you is this: truly consider whether you want to remain attached to this man. Write the letter, no matter how long. Send it and then focus on yourself. 10 months and he's not even willing to tell you that you're his girlfriend?

    Yes, Scorpios hate to be backed into a corner, hate to feel pressured but that's just extreme, in my opinion. What I found with my ex is that he's VERY insecure, jealous, wants to be in control and is highly sensitive (as all Scorpios are) but it will never change unless he sees his own actions for what they are. He can't do that if you're enabling his behavior; unintentionally and with the best, if misguided, intentions. You've been extremely patient here! Accommodating, loving, simply trying to obtain some level or security and to try to work toward ending these games yet he's refusing. He's being stubborn and enjoying his control/freedom.

    Try distancing yourself a bit - you don't have to shut him out completely; by writing a letter and putting all of your cards on the table (in a loving and heartfelt way) you're setting the tone. Make him sweat a bit by removing yourself from the equation and showing him that as much as you love him, you won't feed into his erratic behavior. Scorpios DO have a hard time letting go of their exes; show him that he wouldn't want to let YOU go by making yourself less available, showing you value yourself enough to express your feelings and stand up for yourself and make him miss you!



  • Hi Harlow1322 (nice to meet you by the way)and TaurusGirl7 I have a suggestion to both of you as it can help in some way. You should join in on the discussion in the Scorpios and Letting Go forum. Its an amazing forum and we discuss all kinds of things and actually help each other out! You both should try it.

    And btw the way TaurusGirl (about the caring message) I just felt really inclined to be there for you because I feel exactly the way you feel as a person-Im a very sweet caring and loyal individual but very in tune with my emotions. I agree with Captain and Harlow1322! This guy is overly controlling and abusing you by throwing all his past hurts and abuses all on you even when you have done nothing wrong. The crazy thing is I had a very similar chart done with me and my Scorpio ex. The best thing for you to do is write that letter, leave with the ball in your court, dont respond to him, remain strong and keep a strong front-act like youre getting on without him just fine and in the mean time get intouch with yourself. You deserve to discover a new radiant, powerful and rejuvanated you. So go out, learn a new dance, excercise, get into art any thing to journey deeper into yourself 🙂



  • Wow thank you to the both of you for all your insight and help and advice. I actually considered writing a letter before but then I thought he might think it was childish and figured anything I said in it would mainly be pretty much what I have already verbally said already. I also recalled my letter I wrote to him on valentine's day...I put all my feelings out there and told him how much I cherished all the times we shared together and so on and sometime after the fact we got into a fight and he just threw it in my face and told me it was nothing but bs. I don't know if he really meant it but I guess he was angry and wanted me to believe that was what he thought...I duh know cuz I never know with this guy. I'm more then sure he is well aware of my feelings especially since they always come out often when we are together. I just can't seem to help myself because he hurts my feelings so much with his comments and things he says which he just thinks he is being funny. He doesn't want a women in his life he has said and he has told me a million times and still does that we are not compatible. I have a feeling that he just uses the we are not compatible thing as an excuse because there is nothing else to he can say. Deep down I think it's his issues that are keeping him away as much as he wants me to believe it's because it's me and that we are not compatible, Do you really truly think I should actually write a letter even though I'm sure he knows how I feel??? and what makes a man be disrespectful towards women...is it that he can't respect women because he doesn't respect himself??? or is it just that he has been burned in the past so he's just messed up now cuz of it and afraid to be involved with anyone again???



  • I think he's been so burned in the past he is taking it out on everyone around him especially those that get close to him regardless of how he feels about the person. I sense he does have feelings for you but overly controlling to the point where the control dictates the relationship. And write the letter-it will mostly be for yourself to get your feelings out (even if you have already said it) and it let's you leave him with no regrets on your part (the ball will be in your court) and stand on your words and convictions (for example if you sy you are going to call him, don't or if you tell him that you going to do something or not take it anymore don't). It will be a win win for you 🙂



  • Thanks I think ur so right I have a problem where I try to put my foot down and then I'm right back sucked in. The other night he invited me to come and have a drink and to make a long story short he was being rude and disrespectful towards women carrying on with 2 other guys and it didn't sit well with me so I got pissed off and spoke my mind. I told him he needed to leave me alone and not call or text me and to not even drive by my house anymore and he just looked at me and chuckled I think as if to say ya ok as if you actually mean that.



  • I also let him know that what he was saying and how he was carrying on hurt me. He text me that night after I went home and told me I didn't know how to have fun and I said I do know how to have fun but fun to me isn't talking disrespectfully and bad about women all night especially infront of a women(me). He text me boo hoo when I said he hurt my feelings and told me again that we aren't compatible. I said it has nothing to do with that and we would get along just fine if you didn't behave like that. He text back again and told me I was too much work and he was going to bed. So I said back you are a total lost cause...I give up.



  • Then I bumped into him yesterday and he stopped and spoke to me for a min. I told him I couldn't lie that he honest to god hurts my feelings and I admitted that I had fallen in love with him and that is why it hurts so much. He said if it was bothering me I shouldn't have come and I said how was I to know what was going to be talked about. He said if I didn't like it I should have just left then. I told him I came cuz I thought he was alone and didn't know he had 2 male friends there aswell. He then rushed off saying he had things to do.



  • That guy has serious issues lol way too angry and over dramatic it seems like he doesn't like to deal with emotions and you are too sweet and compassionate for this guy to be (or try to be) so insensitive and cruel. You deserve better than that-he needs to sort his issues out before embarking on any kind of relationship.


Log in to reply