Scorpios and Letting Go
new here. i'm a scorpio man. my last relationship was with a Pisces woman, who i feel is the only one i have ever loved. i was married to another scorpio for 6yrs but that has been long and done. the relationship with the pisces followed one with a Cancer woman who was the sum of all evil - a very big liar and the only one who has cheated on me.
anyway, I am having trouble letting the Pisces go. we tried 2x more after our first breakup. she finally put the final dagger in my heart yesterday when she said the last time we tried that she felt nothing, no desire to be with me, whatsoever. it was just horrendous.
I suppose I'm just curious to the other scorps out there: do you guys have trouble letting go? i don't usually. i did with a capricorn that i dated after i was divorced... dated many in between her and the Pisces - but the Pisces was truly the only one i have ever loved. LOVED this woman, I would still do anything for her even though all of the hurt I am feeling. I think that is a big part of it as well... that she is the only one I ever loved. We would likely be married if things had not turned out the way that they did.
best to all,
Hi, I'm a Scorpio woman. I can tell you this, we have a hard time letting go of the ones that we know we can't have. I've dated many signs but the one that I'm having trouble letting go of is a Taurus. I've dated a Leo for 4 years but I had no problem letting go of him but he had/has problems letting go of me. I was married to a Gemini but I had no problem letting go of him. Like I said, I think it just all depends on the dynamics of the relationship. Seems to me the ones that we do the most for are the ones we have trouble letting go of. But when we, Scorpios, are truly done, we have NO problem letting go. I also think it has alot to do with our moon signs as well. I'm an Aquarius moon sign.
I agree with you on when we're done, we're done. That's why this has been so difficult. I don't get why I can't be done with her. It's making me feel like there is something wrong with me... like I am insane! My dignity has completely gone out the window in the way I've handled it with her. It was far too one-sided, on my part of course.
I just don't like it. I don't like what I still sort of feel for her and that nagging feeling of if she came back I'd give it another shot. I don't know. I just know I felt so safe with her, as she did me, until things went badly (my fault. the one time i've really ever messed up in a relationship). After that it was never the same, and I understand why. Oh well.
but yeah. it's just making me feel like i'm crazy, lol. like i just CAN'T let go. after yesterday it might prove to be the final nail in the coffin though. i can't handle that type of emotional rejection. I suspect you are the same way, Scorp72.
Definitely also agreed on "the ones we do the most for are the hardest to let go." I would still die for this woman. It's completely ridiculous! I am such a giver as it is and with her it was 100,000x moreso than I ever was with anyone else. sigh.
I read a statement somewhere about Scorpios being vengeful and it said "Everyone always complains about what a Scorpio DID to them, how about what a Scorpio has DONE FOR you!" We are such giving creatures. I believe we are the most codependent out of all the signs! lol I will say this as an example of how we can be. The Taurus I've been seeing for a while opened up to me and told me that I tell him "I love you" too much. I wasn't aware that there was a minimum or maximum for the amount of daily "I love you"s. Four days have passed and do you know many times that I've told him that I love him??? Yep, you guessed it....ZERO!!!! I'm not a revengeful person but when someone hurts me like that, well my stinger is out and in full force along with my hard shell. Taurus/Scorpio combination, hmmmmmm. He may have the horns, but I have the stinger! lol Plus, our moon signs are so incompatible. He's a Scorpio moon and I'm Aquarius moon. :-((((
LOL! Oh boy. I have a good story with that one. One morning I was staying with the Pisces, and she had a younger daughter. I believe she was maybe 6-7 months old at the time. She was getting dressed and I was playing with her daughter, and I said "this is my favorite time of day watching your mommy get dressed!" Of course she's an infant and has no clue. Well, the Pisces said "don't be a perv!"
So I said... okay.
I turned my view away from watching her dress.
She noticed - and immediately said she was just kidding in a very sarcastic manner.
I simply replied, "okay."
and kept my eyes away for the entire duration while playing with her daughter on the bed.
Don't say something if you're not going to mean it, because we never forget!!!
and yes. EVERYTHING i ever did was overshadowed by the tiny little things we all apparently have wrong with us. They get it SO GOOD with us and then when one tiny thing crops up, it's not enough. It's all negated. WTF. I can't stand that nonsense. It's like okay, apparently all I ever do is mess up, right? Um, no. We are amazing givers. I am glad you speak my language, you're making me feel like i'm not a lunatic.
LOL!!! I know EXACTLY what you mean!!! There are things that I will hold on until I'm even in my grave and then there are probably some things that I will pass on to my children for them to hold on even after I'm 6 ft under!!! lmbo!! Even my Taurus makes that comment ALL the time of how I hold onto things and never let go!!! I have a hard time forgiving and forgetting a wrong that was done to me, especially when it was done by someone that mistakened my kindness for a weakness. Never underestimate my intelligence!
Was your Pisces an insecure person???
"when it was done by someone that mistakened my kindness for a weakness." Truer words were never spoken. Yes. yes and more yes. I heard this from the Pisces once - "let me be the woman in the relationship" after she told me I wasn't opening up enough to her. Then she would do something that bothered me, so I tell her how it made me feel... and BAM. That comment. GFY with that BS. Really.
yes, she was BEYOND insecure. Which made no sense, she was gorgeous. 5'1 / 105 blonde/blue eyes. Amazing looking woman, girl-next-door type. She never saw it though. I am insecure myself, but I never projected it out onwards to others. Like, if you didn't like something, you'd just say so and be done with it, right? No. If the Pisces didn't like it, YOU were STUPID if you liked it. It wasn't enough for her to not like something. If you liked it, you were stupid. Period.
I will say this. If the Cancer woman really was who she represented herself to be (and not the actual lying cheating destructive whore she was) there is NO WAY I would ever have left her. EVER!!! That woman made me feel like a GOD all the time. I don't know if that's realistic to expect from other Cancers, but I am looking to find that feeling again. Too bad it wasn't real.
Yeah, we never forget anything, ever. Especially the emotional rejection. That's why I struggled so hard with the Pisces. Until yesterday, I think. That phone call was brutal, hearing the words "NO desire WHATSOEVER to be with you, NONE, NOTHING" just like that. I mean, jesus. Awful.
Hi everyone how are you, I really hate to interupt this discussion but I just wanted to ask if you guys can give a Scorpionic perspective for a young lady on this site (no not me lol but another young Taurus girl who is really confused) I feel bad for her and the things her Scorpio guy does confuses her so I was just wondering if any of you can give her insight. The forum is entitled Totally confused about the Scorpio man in my life...please help!
In advance (just in case any of you would like to), thank you and I really appreciate this and Im sure she would too.
Love, light and blessings.....Asia118X
I am not a Scorpio but I relate to them pretty well and I was dating a Pisces so I kind of know how you feel. I think they some how make us pitty them. Maybe I can explain it better, my Pisces I loved him very much and was crushed after the break up (that I am still not sure is real yet) I realized that I felt so attached to him because I felt like he needed me and what was he going to do without me there to care for him. Not sure if that is how you feel, but I know it is stressful. I also have a Scorpio question if you don't mind. I have read so many times and saw you both write when your done your done so if a Scorpio guy says he is done to you and others but always comes back to you sometimes for a night sometimes a week does that mean he really cares and just isn't ready to deal with his feelings?
hi, I'm a scorp chick also and I completely agree with not being able to let go easily. I also gave a lot to my Gemini guy who broke up with me a few months back and one of his excuses was that I didn't support him enough and give back enough. I never understood it because I gave SO MUCH. SO MUCH more than I have to anyone else. yes, I can be guarded but I opened up to him because he made it seems like we were going to have a future and marriage. sigh...I just don't get it....I'm having a REALLY hard time getting over him...
I think it's the rejection that hurts us the most, not so much of what all we do for them. I believe that when things happen to us like this, it is a great time to use our skills of investigating ourselves and looking really deep into our mysterious minds and hearts. Why do we allow such mistreatment???? Its because we are such dark creatures that we love the bad boys/bad girls. Ever been with a nice girl or nice guy?? How did that turn out?? It makes you cringe, doesn't it? We LOVE challenges and despise rejection/avoidance! I HATE when someone ignores me, it's a challenge to gain their respect. Understand?? We all deserved to be loved, and genuinely loved!
SV, I haven't seen you in a loooong time!! We used to talk over on the Cancer guy forum!! lol
For some reason we are truly attracted to insecure people, it's like we have this magnet for them because they know that we will build up their self esteem and "fix" them. Strange but so true!
Yeah, I'm definitely a fixer. my Pisces was super, super easy to deal with. She liked the same monotonous routine day in and day out. I LOVED the consistency, but when I wanted to do something 'against the grain' was when it became 'stupid' to do so. That didn't turn out well.
I don't like the drama though. I don't want to fix someone, although I am unbelievably amazing at it. Scorp72 you said the bad boys/girls appeal to us. Is this really true? I don't know. Definitely needs to be examined on my part. I do crave the 'action' but not nonsense like I had with my Cancer woman cheater. Ugh. NEVER AGAIN.
What I hate about fixing people is that they always leave me when I fix them. Then, when I'm totally destroyed because I've invested so much in them, I hit my point of no return and then of course they come back later on. Do you all get this too? EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY SERIOUS EXES has come back. "i've never loved someone like i have you" etc etc. "It's never been as good as it was with you" well then genius, you left, why is that again? and of course I can't go back, they can never undo the damage emotionally that happens when they leave.
I wonder if the PIsces will return again. I doubt it this time though. This was the 3rd time. They say the Pisces woman never gets over the Scorpio man. I think she has too much pride to ever come back though. I wonder what would my reaction be if she did come back again. Right now, she would do well to not do that, but it's not going to happen anyway, so oh well.
She was the only one I'd try again for at this point. To hell with all the others. I still hear that from some exes that I am friends with to this day, lol. It's so ridiculous. They don't know what they have until it's gone... and we are left to pick up the pieces.
I would also avoid the Geminis lol. Super flaky, in my experience. I know that doesn't help though.
the rejection is the killer. as noted by my and Scorp72's stories above lol. We're like 9/11 - "never forget..." LOL
littlej, he's possibly confused, otherwise it's just about the sex. I am not that way regarding sex, but many scorps can be real womanizers until they pick one to claim.
I did feel that way with my Pisces. She was SO precious to me. I am a tall built guy, and she was this little 5'1 nothing and I felt a supreme need to protect her. We never got into any situations like that, but still. And emotionally too. She has gone through a lot. omfg, I am already protecting her right now even though she just crushed me again yesterday. this is what i'm talking about lol... i will probably always defend her, which is something i've never done before either.
I don't necessarily fall for the bad boy...I just fall for the insecure and fixable type like you guys are talking about...I feel like I did a lot for my Gem and supported him in many ways. but I think he left because he was flighty and had demons he had to work out first. I don't know if he's ready for a relationship with anyone. He needs to work on himself first. I even told him that I was there for him and he ignored me and pushed his issues aside...eventually they will catch up to him, which makes me very sad...
I've never had any of my exes come back to me except one. He was my FIRST cancer, not the last guy I was involved with. I've been involved with two Cancer guys. the first one was my longest relationship to date...4 years...he still keeps in touch with me. he calls every now and then just to catch up, but I know deep down that he still sort of loves me...I would NEVER EVER get back together with him...ugh..SO MUCH DRAMA and so much pain I went through after our breakup...he didn't treat me well at all...which comes back to what ya'll were saying. We like to be treated badly in relationships maybe? I don't understand why. All I want is to be in a nice, happy, stable, comfortable, TRUSTING relationship....why is that SO HARD????????
hey Scorp72, can I call you your real name or no? LOL. it's good to see you too! so you've moved on from the crazy cancer guy huh? is he still sorta stalking you and driving by?
clearly I moved on from my previous poisonous Cancer and went onto be with a truly wonderful Gem who squished me and my heart...:(
we still keep in slight contact which KILLS me...ughhh..
I hear from everyone that Gem's are super flaky...mine might have been a little, but he was SO deep at the same time. he's a writer and he really knew how to get in touch with his emotions ON PAPER...never in person...which has a lot to do with his emotional issues and detachments...
SV-Sure, call me by me real name! lol Yea, he actually keeps in touch from time to time. He's even told me to use him as a reference for some jobs that I've applied for. hahaha He's actually pretty sane compared to the Taurus! lol I've been with some real losers but this one tops em all!!!! He's an alcoholic, gambler, no drugs though, manipulator, user, loser, liar, cheater, abuser....shall I go on?? hahaha He's done some real damage to me but for some reason I can't let him go. I am drawing near the end though. He's a highly unevolved Taurus. He uses everyone in his life, including his family! He cusses them out and disrespects them totally, which is the way he does me! What is wrong with me?? I know that I deserve sooo much better!
I agree about the whole "we fix them and then they leave us once they are better". Mine had surgery back in March and I've been nursing and taking care of him. How does he show appreciation??? By constantly asking for MORE MORE MORE, it's never enough for him! I'm so drained physically, mentally and emotionally. He's cheated on me 4 times that I know of, but he denies!! I actually found an empty condom wrapper under his bed and he said he didn't know where it came from! WTH???? Is he serious?? Then the one time that I did catch another woman at his house...he said that they were just friends but he's never introduced me to her and he lied to me about her being there!!! I caught her car there and broke up with him, of course he came back crawling but being an arse about it! Even saying til this day that I pushed him away into her arms! WTH!!! That doesn't even make any sense!!! If they were just friends, then why was he in her arms??? ISSUES!!!