Captain - an Update reading please?

  • Captain,

    I've been getting readings from you every now and then for a while now. I broke up with a Gem guy a few months ago and we've had some communication in between. it was sort of a messy break up, but we are decent with each other. he recently text me to ask me about a birthday gift after I had sent him a simple text wishing him well on his bday. I don't know why it's been hard for me to get over him, but I'm trying my best.

    I've signed up recently to start volunteering at a few locations so I can get my mind on other things but also give back to the community because I truly enjoy doing so. I'm also trying to look for other new opportunities in life and I'm finding no success.

    I've met a few guys on an online dating site, but for some reason I just can't get over this Gem guy. I've also been seeing my Gem guy on the online dating site, and it's making me wonder if he's having difficulty moving on as well?

    I'm just wondering if you could tell me what you see for me in the next 3-6 months.

    thanks so much in advance!!

  • No, he's moving on quite well and doesn't look back. He is a popular fellow.

    Your difficulty in moving on is that you still hope he will come back but that isn;t going to happen. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you move on to find someone more compatible. You need to reflect on your attitude - I don't feel that the person himself matters to you as much as finding someone to make you feel less insecure about yourself and more worthy.

  • Captain,

    i'm a little confused. I understand your reading and what you are saying, however, we actually ended up talking yesterday for a few hours via text conversation and he told me he missed me. I dont understand. we talked about him dating other girls and then he asked me if I dated anyone else. We were being honest with each other. we didn't stop talking till about 1:30am.

    I guess I'm just wondering if he truly misses me or if he's playing mind games and keeping his options open...or have I just answered my own question with my prior statement? lol

  • Yes, he is keeping his options open. He is the type of person who will always worry that there might be someone 'better' down the road and that he shouldn't settle down until he has explored all his 'options'. In other words, you'll 'do' until someone he likes better comes along. It's all about making himself happy above all.

  • As to what you can expect in the next few months, more of the same old thing unless you make a change in your attitude.

  • change my attitude as in love myself more and reflect more? I've been doing that some, I just need to buckle down.

    I'm volunteering more in the community and I really think that will open my mind and heart up and make me believe that I can be a productive person without having to have a guy make me secure with myself.

    I've always believed that I don't need a man to make me feel good or secure, but everytime I have a hard breakup, I fall down and it's hard for me to get back up.

    I'm looking at my situation in a different perspective and hopefully it will become clear soon. I just need to breathe and concentrate on me. that's what is important.

    I just get an enormous amount of pressure from my family, being the culture we are, that I should have found someone and been married by now. it's a difficult situation, and I'm sure the pressure makes it even harder for me to let go of my Gemini man.

  • Stop trying to please everyone else, and just please yourself - it's the only way you will be happy.

  • Captain, thank you. I've definitely been working on loving myself more.

    My Gemini man and I have been talking a little more often. he keeps eluding to the fact that he misses me but he won't come out and say it. I'm being patient, but at the same time I'm scared that I'm being used. I just wish he would come out and be open with me instead of giving me vague answers and beating around the bush.

  • Captain,

    so my Gemini and I had this huge talk. I finally pretty much blew up at him and told him how I felt and how hurt I was. he said he never meant to push me so fast and that he wish he had given us the chance we deserved. he said that it was his fault that he didn't nurture what he had and that he wished he didn't just give up so easily on us. unfortunately, he also told me that because of his job opportunities lined up, and the uncertainty of where he might be moving, he didn't want to start anything up with me again in fear of hurting me again. I think he genuinely meant it and he wasn't just trying to play me off. I told him that it was his choice, but I wouldn't wait around forever.

    I just wish this wasn't so hard...

  • bump!

    Captain, I know you're busy moving, but I'm bumping this up in hopes that you'll see it soon. I hope your move goes well! 🙂

  • bumpity bump! 🙂

    my gemini and I are talking more. he's admitted that he wishes he were still with me, but it's been hard on him. He said he was scared about moving away and not having enough time to spend with me since he'll be so far away. I think right now I need to practice patience and live my life to the fullest.

  • Talk is cheap - his actions speak louder of his true nature.

  • Captain,

    we've been spending time together. we spent time together twice now. and we had a wonderful night on Saturday. unfortunately, something is stirring inside of him and he has shut down. I don't think it has to do with me. he's having a lot of emotional issues with being at home. he lives at home with his parents to help them out, but he's itching to get away. hence his job interview in another city. I want what's best for him. we talked about what our relationship will be like if/when he moves. he said he would be back for the weekends and I could come to spend weekends there with him. it sounded like we made a breakthrough and I felt safe. he's going through a lot right now and I'm trying to support him. he text me last night and said he's not meaning to ignore me and that he had a lot going on in him mind right now. I told him that I understood but to have a healthy relationship, he would have to communicate because it was hurting me.

  • Geminis are masters of communication - if he doesn''t communicate enough with you, it's because he doesn't want to. Don't be content with someone who just wants you around on the weekends. Stop thinking about what's best for him and think about yourself. You give yourself away far too much to please others.

  • Captain,

    I finally got him to tell him what was up and why he was acting so strange and distant. It didn’t have to do with him only wanting to talk to me when he wanted to. he had some serious thinking to do about the some news he received.

    Apparently he had started talking to his ex-gf around the end of March, when we stopped talking completely while we were broken up for 6 months, and they had ended up having s*ex. I don’t know when they stopped talking, but he told me it was around the end of May. Well anyway, she had apparently contacted him sometime within the past week or so and informed him that she is pregnant. She also told him that she’s not sure if it is his or if it is the other guy who she slept with.

    He called me yesterday afternoon and told me the news. Of course I was shocked and had no words. All I managed to say was “you got yourself into this. I can’t help you. I have to go” and hung up the phone. I know it took a lot for him to tell me the news but I am unbelievably hurt and shocked.

    I had dinner with one of my best friends and she helped me get through my feelings a little bit. she told me that sometimes guys are stupid and he might have missed me and that’s why he was trying to compensate for his feelings. I told her that I can never trust him again. yes, he made a mistake and now might have to pay the consequences for it, but I don’t think I can ever look at him the same way again.

    I can’t stop thinking about how I feel either. Part of me is over it and I have no feelings at all what so ever…and then part of me is so hurt and I can’t stop crying. I do love him very much, and I really hope it’s not his because he has a big life ahead of him and can’t let this get in the way. But if it IS his, then he needs to step up and be a man about it.

    I guess I’m just looking for guidance. Would you be able to give me some insight into if the baby is his or not? why did he tell me? is it because he still wants to be with me or is it because he’s trying to get away from me? he sounded so scared when he told me, like I was going to comfort him or something. I can’t comfort him…it’s too hard for me to absorb this…

    I just don’t understand…I’m so confused…but I do know this, I have to stay away from him. I can’t be within all this whirlwind drama…

  • I cannot give you any more guidance because you don't listen to it or follow it. You have been told continuously by myself and others here that this relationship will not work, yet you stubbornly cling to what you want to happen with this guy, beyond all logic and common sense. I can no longer help you because you are not open to hearing anything but what you want to hear. You will have to learn the hard way.

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