Is over between me and my scorpio or are they scared? Need advice please!!!
I need to know if it's completely over between me and my ex scorpio...we just officially broke up today. I'm a female who likes females by the way and a virgo at that. I love her so much that it hurts. We've known each other for a little over 7 years. We dated back in high school and she was my first love and still is. We stopped talking back then due to her father being military and her moving but we kept in touch thru the years. Recently, we had hooked back up in January of this year and rekindled the sparks. She told me she loved me and always have since junior/senior year. She's military and actually just got stationed back in the states and has been spending 30 days off with her family. During this time she had become distant and stopped talking to me. Hear is our last conversation below....
WHAT I WROTE HER.....I've been going back and forth with myself debating if I should message you considering you haven't answered any of my texts or contacted me at all in the past 2 weeks. So, this is my last attempt at contacting you. I don't know whats going on with you.When you were in Korea, we talked constantly but I noticed, to your last days there up to when you got back in the states, that you were becoming distant to where instead of talking every other day or two, it became once a week and now nothing. Point frankly, I get the impression that you really don't care anymore about anything that was said or shared between us and if that's true, it would be nice if you could just be straight with me and tell me what you're feeling. If that's not true and you just need space and want to vanish for a while, you could have told me that too and not just left me hanging. I think I deserve some kind of explaination to your motives. You say you love me but right now, i think they were just words. I would like to think that you wouldn't just dip out on me with no words, considering everything I told you that has happened to me in past relationships but I don't know what's goin on in your brain. I have alot of respect for you and you made me believe that you deserve it but now I'm thinking maybe this is the real you, to just ignore or leave when you don't want something anymore or when an issue approaches. If that is you, then those are some unrespectable assets. Well, you know how to get in contact with me if you want to converse, if not, hope you have a blessed life...
WHAT SHE WROTE ME.....I hate to write something like this but you asked for straight forward answers and this is hardest thing that I have ever written.
Okay...I want to apologizes to you for the whole ignoring you for the last two weeks, there are three reasons for that: One I hate phones, I find them impersonal and I have never really liked them...and I have lost this phone twice now so my mom now carries it when we go out or we just leave it at home. Second reason: I have spent all this time either cleaning or helping my mom do different things that needed help either near the house or at my grandmother's house and trying to get my driver's license. And the third reason: for the most part talking to both my father and sister about different things, my father about my military career and my sister about you.
As you know I lost my grandmother just prior for me leaving Korea, before then I spent most of my time thinking about you, but since then reality has set back in and I have spent most of my time since then thinking about life and death. And when I think, I have this horrible habit or 'unforgivable habit' as my sister calls it, of tuning out the world to think. My talk with Vicki ended with words that gave me alot to think about, I did tell her that I love you but she has told me that we haven't seen each other since my junior year and even though we know that what we feel is true, love sometimes isn't enough. It hurt to think that, to even write it but it's true. And another thing that she told me was the fact that until I am ready to place you before my dad and the rest of my family then it will never be fair to them or you.
Vicki was around when my mom almost outed me to my dad, my mom asked if any of his daughters told him that they were into females, what would he say? He had lean forward, and with a look that could only describe as utter disappointment on his face, he said 'Until she is ready to tell me, I will cross that bridge when we get there.'
And right now in this point of my life I am not ready or willing to tell him the truth. My father's talk of my military career has also made me think, this is my dream something I have wanted to do since I can remember. Before 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' was taken away, I was more then willing to spend the rest of my life without someone but now that it is gone, my mind now wonders what will happen...right now I know that I am not ready for anything. I thought I was but I was wrong. I never intend to hurt you but I guess that's what going to happen. I understand if you never want to talk to me again.....
WHAT I WROTE....
You know, your 3rd reason for not talking to me is realistic, I get it. Everything you just told me, I've been hearing too about not seeing you in 7 years and my dreams of being a dance instructor and having my own performing arts academy. Everyone told me to let you go or I would never reach my goal and if I'm willing to give up everything for you. If you would have not tuned me out, I would have told you about this and we could have disgust our future goals or if now is right for us. I didn't know what to think but what bothers or disappoints me is that you thought I couldn't handle the truth of fear that i'd get hurt or something and just left. I'm alot stronger than you think I am. I can handle conflict and u-turns but I don't tolerate BS and walking out without an explanation, it makes me question your character. I told you in the beginning that you're not ready and it wasn't because I thought you weren't capable of being in a serious relationship, it was because somehow I already knew how this was gonna play out with the military and your father but I went forward anyway. I guess, maybe, that's my fault. It seems to me that you already made your decision about what you're going to do. I pray it all works out. Should we still talk? I don't think that would be wise and reason being on my behalf is I still love you and I can't do it right now.
She hasn't wrote me back, if she is actually gonna write me back.....need advice...
Your friend wants to stay in touch with you long distance in case she gets enough courage or clarity to make a firm decision. But she is very confused right now so making any decisions is not advisable. You both seem to want to get on with your careers. Why not make that your priorities right now and wait to see what the future brings? You should both date other people however so as to keep your options open if things don't work out between you in the end. As you mature, you will both change from the kids you used to be and your love may or may not change into something more permanent and real. But don't either of you put your lives on hold or you may end up resenting the other person for holding you back. Stay in touch as friends if she wants to but don't force it.
ya, sounds depressing...but I guess it'll have to do...we've known each other for 7 years and our feelings are still the same since the beginning. It makes me think, will we ever be together in the future? Will she ever tell her father? And for the record, I never once told her she had to choose me over her dad or her career, it just seems that the decision she made didn't come from her but from other people who put thoughts or ideas in her head.
As you can see, she is very confused at the moment. The fact that you say your feelings haven't changed since you were young may mean that your feelings for each other are more childish fantasy than real love. Only the passing of time will tell if your relationship will grow stronger or fade. For now, get interested in your own life and don't rely on anyone else for your happiness.
So, should I still talk to her? I don't count on other people to make me happy. I've been living my life and having my own business (dance studio) since I was 20 and honestly it's been my only true love and no other female could change that. Before getting back together with her, I would have never even considered choosing to be with someone over my career. I date of course but I don't trust anyone with my money or hardwork but her. I don't know why I trust her, maybe because she's hasn't given me a reason to not trust her, or the fact that she comes from a family with good morals and has them herself, kinda like my family and how I was raised, I don't know but I do know is it's always easy to talk to her, share things, and never get judged or feel I have to impress her. She's honest even if it does hurt my feelings and she'd tell me about myself when others are too afraid to or too busy being 'fake'. She told me she's never been in love or serious about any relationships and she's been with alot of females but she feels different when she talks to me. When she told me she loved me, I asked, how do you know? She said she just knows.