Need reading and advice asap. Shauby & the captain

  • my sons father and I broke up last year afterspending 8 years of our lives together. Our son is 3. We had a great run but after we were engaged and prepping to have our son, my mr right transformed into mr wrong. I waited 5 years and waited patiently to progress into the kind of commited relationship that I desired for myself. He broke my heart and eventually I found someone new to replace him. He came back about 8 months after our break up and pleaded that I should drop my new situation to mend things with him. I had many doubts but I still allowed my ex to destroy my new relationship and afterwardsh he went back home to the lady whom we had broken up over. I was devastated again. I managed ro recover the relationship that my ex attempted to destroy and I'm somewhat happy yrt theres this underlying factor. My children. I know that it would be more beneficial for them if my ex ever came home. Ive given up hope because Its hard to imagine rekindling a flame that's been out for a year. Im just wondering what I should do. Btw my ex is a cancer and im a taurus.

  • I am not either one of those lovely human beings. However, I have to ask you this, ultimately, how will your ex benefit your kids if you cannot trust him?? And he cannot be what YOU need and deserve??

    If you are happy, your children will be happy. You do not have to be with their dad for them to love, respect and have a relationship with him. I taught my children to love their father inspite of how he was. BC it was the right thing to do. I knew as they grew, they would form their own opinions. And they have. Yet, I never wanted my kids to be aware of "conditional" love.

    Unconditionally is how we live. With a deep respect for humanity, nature and creation. I will not allow it.

  • Hi taurus 7. I appreciate your response. It would be very hard to sum up 8 years and all of the coherent factors that leave my heart in limbo. I can share with u the most important ones. One, he was my bff. We were friends first. His behavior was completely irratic. It even caught the attention of his parents. When we cross paths the feelin of sadness between us is so amazing that others pick up on it, however those feelins turn bitter because we both try to put up a fascade like breaking up was a great decision and neither of us want to admit that it was the stupidest.

  • MzBreeze, try 20 years. I am not trying to be an a@@. I am not. I am just trying to get you to see and have the ability to separate fact from desire. There is a huge difference. But you have to see it on your own.

  • MzBreeze, these are just things popping in my head, safety, security, kindness and love are not the same as longing, hurt and what if's.....

    I am not meaning to hijack this thread. I do not have credentials in the spirit world, but I have lived life. I have felt pain, abandonedment, heart break and betrayl. Please just take this as you see fit.

  • I understand Taurus7 and just for the recod, in no way am I trying to justify what he did. It hurt my kids and I a lot. However I wonder is there a reality in a failed relationship ever being renewed.

  • I don't think so. But that is just me. The mind remembers hurt. The soul can forget, but, in my experience, not the mind. I guess if a major transformation occurs which it can, then possibly. But that takes both parties. And, in my reference of reality, not very likely.....

  • I've moved on physically and there is no doubt that I can move on emotionally. The only reason I haven't is because I haven't allowed myself to because I know he's not totally over us and neither am I. I just wanna be sure the old chapter is closed before I open a new one

  • I understand that sweetie, I do. But don't you think that your past history with him is all the proof of a future you need?

  • I guess no matter how great of a guy he was, im still a victim of the vicious cycle that all of the others who dated or fell in love with one is in.

  • No. Plenty of Cancers have wonderful relationships. I have been in a relationship with a cancer for the last year and a half. Ours has been a-typical, but we are both a-typical people. And older.

    I just remember your previous posts and I just cannot see how you and your ex could ever have a positive relationships. I am just being realistic. I think you and your children deserve far better than that.

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