Hello Marie Grace,
When I read your post I can certainly feel all the confusion going on. I think he is just as confused as you are. However, for you personally I am drawn to the 10 of Swords. The 10 of Swords basically tells us we have over-analysed something. We've questioned it so much that in effect we have "murdered" its true form. Imagine sticking ten very sharp swords into an object. That thing will be shredded right?
The good news is that this is all in your mind. I don't feel like you owe him an apology, but that doesn't mean you must have no contact. Having said that, before you do get in touch with him again (if that is your wish), you need to be perfectly clear about what you want from this man.
Do you want to be friends, or do you want something more? There is no right or wrong answer here. Just be honest with yourself. The other major thing you need to do is to come to terms with the guilt you have inside of you.
What happened in the past, is in the past. You cannot change it. Don't worry so much about mistakes, regrets and "bad" decisions. You did what you felt was right at the time. And everything happens for a reason.
Imagine your life as a piece of fabric and the regrets and mistakes as frayed edges or loose threads. If you obsess and pick at those threads, you risk unravelling your entire life. Even if this was possible, it is never the right thing to do. You will no longer be the person you are today.
To sum up then, don't contact him just yet. Resolve those feelings of guilt within you first so that whatever relationship you want with this man has a fair chance of getting off the ground.
Love & light to you,