Need advice on a shaky relationship



  • I am a Capricorn dob 12/31/1972 and my husband is a Scorpio dob 11/3/1972. Our marriage has been on shaky ground for the past three years and recently I have experienced an unexpected interest in a friend of mine who is a Pisces 3/5/1963. Can you offer me any guidance about my current situation? I have made several attempts to leave my marriage, but each attempt ends up with me staying in the relationship even though I am unhappy.

    Any help would be appreciated. I don't want to make a bad decision that will affect my life adversely in the future.



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  • Hi spoiledcookie. What exactly do you think is wrong with your marriage ? What makes it shaky ?



  • I am not in love with him anymore.



  • Unfortunately feeling of being in love never lasts for more than few years, because that's how long the "in love" hormon lasts. It can be replaced by a deep love (not IN love) that is caring, understanding, companionship etc. That's another hormon - endorfin. But the actual rush of adrenaline is not going to be there no matter who are you with. Nature programmed us this way in order to procreate and move on. It's up to us whether to move from partner to partner once the inicial passion wears off, or to find something valuable, worth preserving in the relationship,because with the new partner you'll inevitably come to this point as well. This is not to say that one should give up the s-e-x life all together, by the way.



  • I mean the s-e-x life with your current partner, if there is still some affection left.



  • While I agree that the initial giddiness in a romance fades over time, I’d like to believe it is possible to stay in love with your partner for a lifetime. However, my definition of being in love encompasses all aspects of a relationship along with the physical attraction. Maybe I’m living in my own fairytale world, but it’s something I’ve always held out for. How long have you been together? Have you tried counseling? At this point Pisces man is of no consequence because this is your marriage and your life to come to terms with either way, without any outside influences. You said that you’ve made several attempts to leave, but you ended up staying. May I ask what changes are being made each time you decide to stay? Unless you husband is tying you down, you are choosing to stay, so you must still feel there is some hope. Are you both putting forward any effort to make the changes necessary for you both to be happy?



  • Thank you both VoplySoply and AquaBubbles. You must both think I am so silly. Maybe I should explain myself a little better. My husband is my best friend and the friendship is solid. I can't stand the thought of living without him, but as a Capricorn I am very sexual in not only the act but also the emotion. The emotion is what is lacking in my marital sex affairs. I have plenty of sex with my husband, but it is not fulfillilng emotionally to me. The third party and I unexpectantly kissed after spending a night together having dinner. We have always been just friends and I was amazed at the fireworks that went off for me. It was completely spontaneous and a surprise for both of us. The third party is not a cheater as I am not. It made me really look at what my marriage was missing and that is what made me question the current state of my marriage as well as some other issues that I did talk to my spouse about.



  • Spoiledcookie, I don't think you are silly. Just probably not experienced enough to realize that fireworks never last for a very long time. However, if your husband is insensitive, or uncaring, or kind of emotionally thick, then you are right in questionning the validity of this marriage.


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