Anyone want to get out an issue just chat about relations welocme:)

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  • good for you rooster I am glad you filed the report. make sure you stay in contact with the police & have him charged with domestic violence. If your name was on the lease you have a right to go into the place if you have all your stuff out of the place make sure you remove your name from the lease so he cannot come after you for payment of the lease. Find a good attorney

    here a link to help you with the divorce filing

    make sure you attach a copy of the police report with your divorce papers

    stay strong you are in my prayers

  • Dear Shadowmist,

    Thank you your support. I sit here this early morning ready to go to church to find some peace and comfort. I still ask the question why. How could things have come to this. Why did it had to end this way. What happened to the love.Why didn't he show any compassion for me. Why did he want the things that belong to my family 's paintings.Did he hate me that much that he kicked me out of our home.Why couldn't he have waited before moving his girlfriend in my home.



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  • Dear Mardepp,

    Thank you for supporting me and giving me your strength to move forward. But through all of this I feel sorry and compassion for my husband. Somewhere along the line he fell from God's grace.My friends and family can't understand and think I should just throw him to the wolves.

    I guess I feel this way because I am the mature one in this relationship. But I will not return to this relationship and I am walking away with my head held high...with dignity.


  • So my Gemini and I were spending more time together in the past few weeks. we spent time together twice since we reunited and talked every day and we had a wonderful time.

    unfortunately, something was stirring inside of him last week and he shut down. I didn't think it had to do with me but I wasn't sure because he wasn't talking to me. he was having a lot of emotional issues with being at home. he lives at home with his parents to help them out, but he's itching to get away. hence his job interview in another city. I want what's best for him. we talked about what our relationship will be like if/when he moves. he said he would be back for the weekends and I could come to spend weekends there with him. it sounded like we made a breakthrough and I felt safe. He was going through a lot and I was trying to support him. he text me last Monday night and said he's not meaning to ignore me and that he had a lot going on in him mind right now. I told him that I understood but to have a healthy relationship, he would have to communicate because it was hurting me.

    So I finally got him to tell him what was up and why he was acting so strange and distant. It didn’t have to do with him only wanting to talk to me when he wanted to. he had some serious thinking to do about the some news he received.

    Apparently he had started talking to his ex-gf around the end of March, when we stopped talking completely while we were broken up for 6 months, and they had ended up having s*ex. I don’t know when they stopped talking, but he told me it was around the end of May. Well anyway, she had apparently contacted him sometime within the past week or so and informed him that she is pregnant. She also told him that she’s not sure if it is his or if it is the other guy who she slept with.

    He called me Thursday afternoon and told me the news. Of course I was shocked and had no words. All I managed to say was “you got yourself into this. I can’t help you. I have to go” and hung up the phone. I know it took a lot for him to tell me the news but I am unbelievably hurt and shocked.

    I had dinner with one of my best friends and she helped me get through my feelings a little bit. she told me that sometimes guys are stupid and he might have missed me and that’s why he was trying to compensate for his feelings. I told her that I can never trust him again. yes, he made a mistake and now might have to pay the consequences for it, but I don’t think I can ever look at him the same way again. I highly doubt he'll come back for me anyway...

    I can’t stop thinking about how I feel either. Part of me is over it and I have no feelings at all what so ever…and then part of me is so hurt and I can’t stop crying. I do love him very much, and I really hope the baby is not his because he has a big life ahead of him and can’t let this get in the way. But if it IS his, then he needs to step up and be a man about it.

    I talked with him a little bit, in anger, on Saturday night. He told me that he really did want to get back together with me(before he knew about this news) but that he still had some reservations about us. He told me that he’s going to ask her to get a test as soon as possible and then make his plans from there.

    I just don’t understand…I’m so confused…but I do know this, I have to stay away from him. I can’t be within all this whirlwind drama. I just don’t get why this is happening to me. I’ve NEVER been able to have a nice, steady, LOVING relationship. What am I doing wrong? All my friends loved my Gemini man and he treated me so well when we were together. I just don’t know where to go from here…I’m totally depressed…and I'm tired of trying to find someone good. even when I DO think I've found someone good, they screw me over anyway...

    I asked the Captain to give me guidance and she told me that she couldn’t anymore because no matter what she said to me about this relationship, I wouldn’t listen. But she also told me that my Gemini had moved on and that he’s not thinking of me. but according to him, he’s missed me and wanted to get back together with me and that’s why we started talking again…sigh…I just don’t know…

  • Dear SV,

    You might not like what I am going to say, but here goes. From day one I wasn’t convinced about this Gem guy. Not him entirely but how it all evolved into your choice to be with him instead of the other guy you was dating as well. I kept my mouth because in a way you were on a rebound and was way to actively seeking.

    After reading this I must say…I am truly sorry for this current episode in your life. If he has moved on then so be it. And I don’t think it has to do with you or the ex. He was already making future plans for himself. Now he might be in a parental jam but that’s his party.

    As for your question why is this happening to you (according to you)…it all has to do with self love. You don’t love yourself enough. I commended you when you took the bull at its horn and confronted him a few weeks back. To me it wasn’t about fighting for him to me it was you finally getting answers to what was bothering you. We can’t always tip toe around a person to keep the peace and silently hope they can read our minds. Some people are fortunate to experience that yet it’s not for the big audience.

    If you keep making exclamations about you NEVER being able to have a nice, steady, LOVING relationship then you are only manifesting your own future. I always say…you are in control. If you indulge in self pity in that way…that’s what you are attracting.

    Now in all honesty. Gemini did treat you right and was loving yet it wasn’t all picture perfect. NO TRUE RELATIONSHIP IS!!!! I say true because you have to be confident that it is a relationship you are into and not something of your imagination. Now Gemini was a great start in breaking that cycle you claim to be in. Give yourself a breather and see who crosses your path. AND TAKE YOUR TIME.

    You have grown…now don’t go and break down that growth with depression and self pity. If he is to come back when things settle down then you see if you are willing to hear what he has to say…if you aren’t it’s your right not to do so and to focus on something else.

    Life is beautiful…enjoy it because you never know.

    Take care,


    (This was my two cents….)

    PS. No one likes to be alone that's why we have a bad habit of settling with the nearest safe zone.

  • Flow,

    yes I need to hear it. the truth, the harsh truth. and I'm happy you're back and here for me. I've missed you so!

    honestly, it was my doubt and apprehension about the relationship and me not letting go fast enough that made him break up with me in the first place. I finally got him to tell me the truth after 6 months after we broke up when I blasted him a few weeks back. he told me that he didn't mean to give up so fast and that he wished he had given us the chance we deserved. yet, at the same time, he said he still had reservations about us getting back together. he said that he thought I didn't take him seriously when I hadnt introduced him to my parents yet(when he had already introduced me to practically his entire family). we talked a lot that night. he was pretty convinced that he had wanted to get back together and that's why we started spending time together again and talking on a daily basis.

    however, you are correct. I can see why you saw differently since I was trying to get over the toxic cancer man that had taken over my life when I met my Gemini man.

    I guess my questioning on why this was happening to me is because I am just so in awe that this kind of stuff would be happening to me. when I was in my early 20's, I thought I would have met my man by now and that we would be on our way to getting married. I never thought I'd EVER be stuck in this kind of situation. lost and confused once again! lol...I do understand that i'm self-pitying myself, but I know that I need to love myself once again to attract the right person. I've realized, after a lot of thinking, that being told that this relationship won't work out means just that. It won't work out. I need to get over this hump and realize that before I slip backwards(which I have a bad tendency to do).

    you're also right in telling me that when my Gemini and I were together, it was great. I really thought he was it because he and I got along so well and we made each other happy.

    I'm not sure what I would do if he ever came back. I'm pretty sure he won't. I've been trying to stay away from him but I did have to be cordial at least a little and let him know that I understand mistakes are made. I really hope the baby isn't his, because he really does have a bright future ahead of him.

    I guess I'm just sad, flow. I'm just very sad. I wanted it to work out so badly this time.

  • SV,

    Hi girl. I have been researching some stuff lately and so I do take a peak on the forum now and then. My visits have been aligning with you, Katie and other stuff but that’s another story.

    I read what you wrote about Gem’s state of mind regarding the relationship. I agree with him.

    What stuck by me were this wedding invite you had and your response towards the spontaneous invite from a friend including him. That was the signal for me. But that’s in the past and no need to linger on it.

    And Cancer guy wasn’t toxic. He was just being himself and you were already in this self inflicted mental lockdown. Nothing in life comes easy, so if you want anything you have to make an effort and see what the outcome is.

    Probably being from the other side of the ocean my way of thinking about settling down is a tad different. You hoped by now you would be married or at least on your way. Who knows it will still be there for you. Yet should that be your main focus?.…I don’t know.

    You are willing to “give” love to another person for the rest of your life...okay. What is it about you should they love...truly love? What are you sharing? Think about that. And I am pretty sure you know the answer without telling me or anyone else. To help you along look up Katie’s thread and read and go back to the time she was also into her guy and how things are now. You will see how funny life has a way of doing things its way WHEN you are ready.

    You being cordial is fine. Gem is human after all. Yet you must not forget…you weren’t together when this all happen. So he hasn’t betrayed you because he was in the assumption that it was over between the two of you.

    My advice is stay positive not for him, not for a possible reunion, not for anything else but yourself.


    PS. I am not back in full swing if that is what you meant. I just like to finish what I started. 😉

    PPS. I don’t know if this message reached you in another fashion but Shorties mom passed on a few weeks ago. Kel shared the news with me.

  • Flow,

    yeah, I kind of get where he was coming from. but in my culture, it's very difficult to introduce the person you are dating to your parents. I needed to be SURE that he was the one so that I dont look like a fool in front of my family if it doesn't work out. to them, the person who I introduce is the person who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. I told my Gem that mant times and yet he didn't get it. or maybe he was just too hurt to understand.

    yes, I agree that it might have been insensitive on my part to act the way I did after the random wedding invite, but we had also only been exclusive for a few weeks. it sounded very uncomfortable to invite him to take a trip out of town with me for a wedding for a friend. I guess that's why I was put on the spot. I understand he would have been embarrased and I know he probably didn't take it lightly, but my stance was different back then. I wasn't even sure he was that serious either. 😕

    I am willing to give love, yes. I guess I just didn't open up enough. I didn't share enough. and he contfronted me about it over new years eve. I told him I would work on it and I thought we were working towards growing as a couple. however, a week and half later, he broke up with me. I can't change overnight and that's what he was expecting, which hurt me a lot. I've had trust issues my whole life, I can't just turn the other direction so fast. He also has trust issues and lots of baggage that he needs to work on and I told him that. he's not working on himself either. it's very clear by the way he talked to me this time around and by the way he's acting that he hasn't done any reflecting on himself. he just missed me and I missed him. I told him this time around that I would help him with his demons. I guess we just didn't get a chance because of this news that came up.

    I have to accept the fact that he thought we weren't together when he got back together with his ex. but it also hurts so much that something like this happened 😞

    I need to learn to love myself and grow some more as a person. I need to reflect and know that I need to be positive or else I'll just keep attracting the negativity that I'm putting out. just wish it wasn't so difficult

    I know it was Kel's bday on the 11th and so I wrote on his facebook wall. I haven't had a chance to catch up with him lately. It's so sad to hear about Shorty's mom. give her my condolences if you can. I have no way of contacting her

    I know you're probably not back in full swing but I appreciate you taking time out to talk with me through this. 🙂

  • SV,

    I understand that culture does get in the way. So knowing that it is an important item between you and a guy…I would suggest explaining this from day one so the other person doesn’t get their hopes up too early. You can joke about it but make it known.

    I noticed you are writing pretty much what he wanted/expected/thought etc. Try to make distance between this pattern and get as quick as possible to your own things. Friends, family, make up you need to buy, or hairdressers appointment. At night put on some nice music no love songs to get you down thinking about what ifs.

    One comment: A person cannot assist another person with their “demons” because if you aren’t balanced yourself you are in no position to assist the other. And if a person acknowledge they have those issues it’s their job to get themselves sorted. This is the common mistake many make>>Oh let’s get the fixing/adjusting tools out and get crafty. Because in the beginning you will be a all ears etc. in the long run…you end up run down and other stuff because things isn’t going as you thought. Often enough you lose yourself in the process too. I think you know what I am getting at. Disappointment is always around the corner...the key is to know how to deal with it.

    Now don’t think that I am brushing off what you are feeling right now. I have been there a few times. What I am trying to make clear to you that every day you wake up you should live to your fullest. Not easy but so worth the try. Don’t make issues that aren’t necessarily yours a predominant thing in your day to day motions. His baggage/demons etc is just that HIS because they were there prior he met you. And you have your load yourself.

    Thanks for reminding me about Kel. I knew it was coming up but I honestly forgot the date. I have sent him a message too. As for Shorty I sent my condolences through Kel as well.

    And you’re welcome. I have a lot going on here so if I take a bit longer to answer than these couple of times please don’t take it personal. 🙂


  • Flow,

    I've been doing a lot of thinking and analyzing so I've been staying away from replying until I was ready. my culture was explained from day 1. he also knew about how my culture worked before meeting me since his roommate in college also dated a girl from the same cultural background. he and I actually talked about it on either the 3rd or 4th date.

    I'm doing things for myself more now. I still have him in the back of my mind, but I'm definitely having a lot of thought process with being more selfish so I can heal and become a better and more refreshed soul.

    unfortunately, in all my thinking, I have realized what you said above. I can only ask someone to work on themselves and hope that they reflect as much and I try and do for myself. I cannot help him. he is stubborn and he told me he's working on his trust issues, but until he actually realizes it himself, he cannot work on himself and I cannot help him with it. If I try and help him, it's only going to hurt me more, and that's something that I have to understand...

    I'm trying to do what's best for me now. I have to cause I have no choice. I talked to him again in the past couple of days, and sort of laid it out on the table for him. he's in very good understanding that he's hurt me immensely, and I told him that he can't just take people for granted when his expectations of a significant other are too high to meet.

    I hope you're doing well yourself, Flow. please give me an update when you can. I don't know how else to get a hold of you other than on here because I remember you not liking the idea of Facebook, lol! thank you for being here for me. I really need it! 🙂

  • You are so good Flow...I can just see you smiling too! nice to know there are still caring people in this wonderful world! 😉

  • I am feeling so frustrated I start my 2 week class on Monday but I keep having self doubts creeping in I keep telling myself it will work out and it is a step in the right direction of working for myself but I remember spending 2.5 yrs getting my degree & then the bottom fell out of the economy and it took over 2 years before I landed the part time job that I have that just barely covers the bills and it was not even in the field that I went to school for

    just neede to vent

  • Just wanna say... How upset i am ive been led on maybe.. he is scorpio.

    Tears just coming and coming. It just hurts so much. Long story short - He wanted to meet up at a party, i declined at that time i was busy, he invited me over and over again, but i didnt want to meet up drunk. So then he gave me his number since we were going to the same event. We met up, he touched me he stared at me. I was so intimidated.... And then he invited me to party with him, and i said i cant come riht now since im busy and i said that we can met up next week. soo we did. only he asked me to come to specific time so i did and he was late... not like 5 mins late but an hour late. I got mad when he showed up!! Anyway after ths he would stop inviting me directly but rather his friends would invite me instead of him but he was always thr. the we met at a party ad he ignored me and then after 5 mins of talking to my friend he stands up and comes to me and kisses me on the cheek, I was in shock. So tell me GUYS why the hel would you do eerything to make girl belive you like her and then ignore her and do all this shit. I've fallen so hard, I txtd him saying that I miss him(I know its push and pull, he is a smart bastard). And he xtd me back: " Sorry I dont feel that way about you" find someone who likes you back. What the hell?!

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  • I do have an issue but its in this forum under gemini man in a dark place....If you can read it id be very grateful thanks

  • Hi, so what does it mean when your guy keeps putting the ball back in your court to make final decision? No more sex just be friends.. up to me, then a lot water under bring felt very awkward after not see each other for six weeks, he texts say something didn't feel right, .. well if you don't talk what do you expect im thinking.. now he say shall we call it a day? is that typical tureen.

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  • Dear SV,

    Glad to read that you are doing more for yourself lately. Sounds cliché yet if you don’t do it yourself anyone else won’t do it for you. And make wise choices!!

    You and I have been talking for more than a year and believe me when I have made leaps in growth. Not that you were a mess or anything like that but you have let go of some fears. Not finished but well on your way. As for Gem you are right he needs to get a do it yourself kit also and get cracking.

    Let me tell you that I am super proud of you, that you have laid it out. That you pointed out what is important to you and that you seek some kind of closure. I am also glad that he understands and hopefully for himself he does something with this experience. Who knows in the long run when things settle down you might end up with a great friend. When is he leaving or has the sudden news altered his plans?


    I am doing all sorts. And I still dislike FB with a passion, lol. I have a great deal of people that I care for that are battling with illnesses and some which we don’t know the full outcome to. Still singing and I picked up some volunteerwork next to my own business plans. In short my plate is full emotionally. My special friend is still in the picture yet we both put everything on the backburner at the moment. His plate is fuller as mine and there were some misunderstandings. Adventure says hi. BTW didn’t Lua have her b-day a few days back? I haven’t seen Katie online to send my b-day wishes since the two still talk.

    And I am glad I picked up on when to show up here to assist you. You deserve that. Your almost there and so is my work with you. You will be flying solo soon girl in so many ways.


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