Anyone want to get out an issue just chat about relations welocme:)



  • ScorpVirgo, I think you are doing the right thing, and you've told him all the right things as well. He didn't say that he's changed his mind, and wants to marry you after all - so stick to your decision. Possibly he, like many men, is only interested in chase, but once he feels that he's got you - he loses interest. As for him missing you, could it be that he feels that you are out of his reach again, so the posessive instinct kicks in ? Not letting other kids play with his toys, even if he doesn't need them kind of thing ? He said it himself - selfish is the word. Moving on would be the right thing to do in this situation, hard as it is, I'm afraid. But you are strong, so you'll be ok.



  • Yeah, your not commited so there is no relationship to begin with. Move foward live in the now....Some men do push others away and "temper" them with what the want to hear to avoid dealing with hurt feelings...............either way it doesnt matter because your moving on ahead....



  • Its not possesive becuase there is no 3d contact or commitiment. Its avoidance but tempering to avoid full contact.



  • voplysoply - thank you. I know it's hard, but I'm just wondering if I have to fight for him. he can be super sensitive. I don't think he told me he missed me so he could be possessive about me. I think he truly misses me. but I don't know for sure because I'm not in his head. I've been trying to move on and find other guys, but it's been very difficult.


    rapunzle444 - we had a relationship/commitment for 6 months before we broke up. I can understand him maybe wanting to let me down easily, but then why would he tell me he misses me a week ago? I dont understand your last post. what is "3d contact"?



  • ScorpVirgo, the relationship you have to fight for is usually not worth the effort. I'm sure he does miss you at some level, just not enough to have a serious relationship with you. If you start chasing him /fighting for him, he'll get even more desinterested, and you be dragged into this addictive game of proving to yourself that you can do it.



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  • Exactly go on and live in the now, he may or may not come back....but live....dwelling past and what could be will bring you down.....Also time can create much transition and tests of who and what may be worthy..,,,,,,,,,



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  • Dear Rapunzle444,

    I had loss my husband about two years ago and recently got remarried. My new husband is a Taurus and I am a Cancer.

    Recently I found out that I must have some surgery. For weeks my new husband is delaying his arrival due to tieing up loose ends with his job.

    I feel I am going through a crisis without my spouse. He tells me he is worried about my condition but he has not made an attempt to be here with me.

    I had a tarot card reading done last night and the reader thinks I should give my husband a heart to heart talk.

    I think I should not have to go this route by myself because he should be here by my side. I realize his job is important to him. We talk everyday on the phone. But it is not the same as him being here to help me go through this tough time.

    I want to ask you should I be consider ending this relationship because he does not measure up to the person I thought he would be in a crisis.

    Rooster5



  • thank you mardepp and voplysoply and rapunzle! I talked to him a little bit in the past few days. on Sunday he sort of hinted that he wanted me to come over but I didn't act on anything. I told him I was confused by what he was trying to ask me. he was beating around the bush. we talked a little yesterday but he hasn't said anything back since last night. I just don't get him.

    I saw him "active" on the online dating website in which WE met on just yesterday so I know he's not as serious as I am...

    I guess I just have to keep my options open as well .... 😕



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  • Rooster. Many men cannot for various reasons up and leave their job. Do you think you rushed into the next marraige? You must first establish values, beleifs and boundaries for you, then what you want in a spouse and then in a relationship. Did you assess his work and his ability to be there before you tied the not? I do not feel that this should be a reason to end it. It is what every mature couple goes through, challenges. Also as an a dult woman. I had to go through surgery alone too, it was rough. He may note have the capability unless it will serve downward consequences on his job position. I would address your feelings to get it out of your system than let it bottle and configure these ideas or plans without his knowing; that is a big factor that causes severance in a relationship. Be honest with his overall support behavior, is it regualr or just this one time?



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  • Aquarium,

    I am NOT an expert but just going by feelings ~ how do his answers truly feel within your heart and soul? I have come to learn that we did not come here to change people and if he is NOT giving you ALL you feel within your heart to be worthy ~ trust your heart.

    ME



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  • He does not have to let you go, you let him go then. Seems to fustrating and non commited or meaningfull. Loose it so you can be vulnerable to the right person. Go with gut instinct and feelings. Yes "you can not change people" Mystical is dead on here. Best to you in this circumstance. I think you can overcome this and move ahead in a positive direction.



  • Dear Mardepp and Rapunzle444,

    You need more details...Well we both loss our spouses. We have been married for 10 months. I put all my cards on the table but recently I found out that their are more cards he forgot to put on the table.This marriage was didn't start long distance but he was unhappy with the health care in the South and he sent me up here to the North. We had talked about this and he kept telling me he would be there for the surgery. As for his teaching job was over for the year. I found out from a friend of ours that he didn't want to make the journey to be with me.

    On the day of surgery he kept calling the surgical secretary and my family every five minutes. My daughter got tired of it and told him he should have been here.

    There was complications in the OR and I ended up on a respirator. They thought I had a stroke.

    This is one of the thing I feared because my dad ended up like this and I didn't want to be in the same condition. I had a living will and told my daughter since my husband wasn't here that if something went wrong do not resucitate me.

    Thanks I needed a shoulder to cry on and a hug,

    Rooster5



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