Worth asking him out?
I think it's really great what all of the readers do here. So let me briefly ask my question:
There's a young man whom we call "Nick." DOB October 6th, 1992. We have a good amount in common in terms of interests and have very great conversation. I'm thinking about asking him to lunch and a movie or perhaps to an art gallery opening. Do any of you see him having feelings that would allow him to agree with spending some time with me? My dob is Sept. 4th, 1992.
If so, what do you think would be best? Art gallery opening or lunch and a movie? Most of our conversations center around things like art, music, and travel, so art gallery would be enjoyable for both of us although a bit stuffy and maybe lunch and a movie would be more casual and enjoyable.
This has good longterm prospects. According to your astrological profiles, this can be an easygoing relationship in which you both learn from each other and benefit from your respective strengths. It is like a window between two people, you looking out and your friend looking in. What you both see appears through the window as an object of great beauty; you as the more private person, for example, admires your friend's social world and vice versa. The relationship rarely melds these contrasting views but does allow the preservation of your individuality. Your polarity poses no threat to your unity.
Admiration and affection may lead to love between you. You two have the ability to express true tenderness for each other, even when empathy isn't really an option. Your differences in temperament can create an atmosphere of romantic fascination and awaken strong protective feelings. As married spouses, you two will be extremely proud of one another and happy to be living with someone so different from each of yourselves. The window effect between you separates you from deep understanding but allows a transparency, so that hiding secrets from each other will be difficult or impossible, and sharing will be encouraged. Having children is recommended here, since your polarity is essentially healthy, and will give your offspring a clear choice when in need of consultation or advice.
A friendship here is usually relaxed and enjoyable. You may not share deep feelings or strongly emotional interactions as in a love affair, but you may reap the rewards in an area too often overlooked in our stressful times - happiness. The only thing that won't succeed here is a working partnership. Since the harmony and balance between you can limit the striving and aggression that is necessary in the business world, a commercial matchup here would lack the push and the will to succeed. Harmony and balance will be more appreciated in a family relationship where you can be the peacemakers, not through coercion but by example. By trying to put yourselves in each other's places and feeling what the other person feels, you can draw closer.
Try to keep this relationship light and relaxed at first if you can. Don't rush or push it. Wait for a special attraction at the art gallery, then ask Nick if he would like to see it with you. Movies are for sitting in the quiet darkness and not for getting to know each other better, so they are not ideal for first dates. A casual coffee after the art exhibition would be excellent and not too stressful or pressurised for either of you. Become good friends first, then decide if you want to move onto a more intimate level.
Okay, Captain. Thanks for your reply. I'll try to create a friendship base first before pursuing anything romantic. So if I ask him somewhere, I'll make it sound more casual.
Do you know what his feelings for me are right now? If they might lead him to say "sure" if I ask him to spend time with me?
And remember I once asked you about someone named Andrew (DOB Sept. 12th, 1991). Do you see me being happier with one or the other? And do you see one feeling stronger for me than the other?
P.S. This is off topic but I'm wondering if you know if BImoon is okay? She's usually on quite often and I've noticed an extended absence so I hope that it's just because she's busy and not because she's sick or anything.
Blmoon told us that she was retiring from this forum to take more personal time for herself and her loved ones.
I feel your friend is as unsure about how you feel about him as you are about him. You will have to make the first move but be very cautious and keep it very light and friendly as I feel there may be someone else he has his eye on andhe might get confused by too much pressure on your part. I feel this is a relationship where you need to start as friends because it will probably only grow deeper later. This seems to be a general pattern for your relationships because I feel this is what the other one with Andrew should have been like in order to succeed - if you had only put aside your romantic feelings to get to know him as a person rather than looking at him as a lover. The Universe is trying to send you a message about taking things slower because of your unrealistic attitudes towards romance which are more fantasy than reality. You are being given another chance to do it right this time.
I feel you are rushing into relationships too much at this point of your life. Why are you so focused on finding something longterm instead of just enjoying life and travelling around as a free single person? You need to experience more of life before you settle down - otherwise you will always wonder what you missed out on and may regret getting tied down before you have really lived.
So I guess you're saying that Nick does have feelings for me but is unsure and a bit wary. I agree with how it's important to build friendship first, though. I honestly do feel that I'm the kind of person who wouldn't be happy in a relationship that doesn't have any friendship in it. I am starting to pull back a little bit on Andrew (this is what BImoon advised me awhile ago). I'm starting to realize that Andrew might be the kind of person who wants to be the one in charge. Who wants to call the shots, who wants to organize, who wants to make the first move, which is why I'm pulling back and letting him come to me if things are meant to be. If things are meant to be, it will not happen with me going to him.
About your second paragraph and your question, I think that I'm just the kind of person who's more happy with things that are more consistent and longterm. Maybe it's because I'm a Virgo, but I just feel more comfortable with patterns and routine. That's why being in a serious relationship with just one person has always seemed more satisfying than traveling around without any commitments. I take greater pleasure in putting a lot of energy into a few select things or people than sprinkling energy in lots of different areas. I guess that as a Virgo, my happiness would be found in routine, commitment, and predictability. The same group of people. The same music. The same smells. I just find similarity to be quite comfortable. Would you say that this is a flaw of my sign, a bad thing? Or that it's perfectly fine as long as I find ways to not let my love of routine restrict me?
Thank you for your time and your reading!