Please Captain a reading.

  • Hi Captain, i would love a reading. As i am going through a separation. My life has not been easy. I have fallen in love with this wonderful man but he is hurt from previous relationships and is in denial of any commitment. I do not know what to do to get to his heart or what my future will be for any steps that i will take. I am very much confused with everything. I am trying for once in my life to find love and happiness. So please if you can help me with my situation i will truly appreciate that. I live in Australia too. My date of birth is 10/09/68 and the man that i love is 26/03/69. Thank you.

  • The good news here is that deep down your friend really does want to be connected with another person - to experience happiness, harmony, fairness and support with one partner whom he loves. Yet he is also very independent and needs to be able to do his own thing according to his own impulses without being limited by other people's input. He is a very giving person by nature but his need for justice and absolute fairness is a bottomless pit. He must start playing fair with himself by not giving beyond a point that feels comfortable, even if he knows that nothing will be reciprocated. He searches for the ideal, committed relationship but this completeness can only be achieved individually, within himself. It is not the by-product of a relationship, no matter how wonderful the partner. He can never gain enough approval from others to have permission to be himself, so at some point he must risk pursuing activities that are meaningful to him. Once he goes in his own direction, the appropriate people will be drawn into his life to support him. Once he establishes a good healthy partnership with himself by doing things that bring him joy and increase his level of self-nurturing so that he feels strong, confident and supported, then he will be able to establish a good relationship with others without feeling debilitated.

    In his youth, your friend may have had to do some fast growing up, to give up his childhood early and take on adult responsibility and duties because there may have been no grownup who could properly do it. His childhood may have given him some unbalanced and unrealistic ideas about relationships, both business and personal. He may not trust or believe that anyone is going to be there for him the way he is for others, so he automatically expects disappointment or abandonment at some point. Or he may go the opposite way and expect way too much from his partner in the hope that this time somebody will care for him as he cares for them. All this 'baggage' means that he often makes bad relationship choices, gravitating to needy. dependent, hopeless or helpless cases. He gets hooked on saving people, then resents them for it, and this becomes a hard habit to break. He must be brave and free himself from guilt and an inflated sense of his own importance. He is not here to save the world, just himself. He must understand that he is not bad or selfish if he chooses to stay on his own path or be with someone strong and independent instead of needy and helpless.

    The two of you are extremely different but you do have things in common: first, you both hate being analysed; second, you believe you can work out your problems without anybody's help; and third, you are both fierce individualists. Your relationship synergistically drives these traits to an extreme. As a partnership, the two of you believe in making no excuses whatsoever for your thoughts, appearance, or actions. Other people can simply take you or leave you.

    Before meeting each other, you both may have had trouble finding a partner you could live with, but together you can have a special chemistry. In fact, you make excellent spouses, often marrying after an immediate physical attraction and an exciting love affair. All of the marital joys can be yours, including home and children. However, things don't always go easily for you two high-strung individualists, and frequent disagreements and arguments will dot the landscape of your relationship. Yet you do have the ability to forgive and make up, and also to be there for each other in times of need.

    You get along less well as just friends, when you often have an unsettling effect on each other. Competition over a mutual friend or lover may threaten or destroy the friendship. Your moral attitudes can make your friend decidedly uncomfortable, particularly if directed against him in a disapproving and critical way. And he will sometimes appear impulsive or thoughtless to you, because you are usually much more discriminating and careful. You can really get on each other's nerves sometimes. You must ease your moral stance a bit and your friend must beware of impulsiveness. Your approaches to many problems are diametrically opposed and may generate friction that is counterproductive to your efforts and the relationship. But you Gino usually know what you want and your friend can usually deliver. It's worth working things out between you.

  • Thank you so much for you time Captain. This has given me some insight of him but at the moment he has no communication with me unless i will contact him. thats why i am confused. Do you see a future together? Should i keep trying to be close to him until time will come and he is ready for a relationship? How can i get through to his heart as i have fallen deeply in love with him.This is very frustrating for me. Thank you,thank you once again for your time.

  • Give him some time to think things through but don't give up on him. If you message him, just keep it short, like you can say you are thinking of him but you respect his need to sort things out. that way you let him know you are not giving up, but still allow him to have his space and do it his way.

  • Thank you Captain for your time. Thats what i said to him today. I told him that i love him and that i will always be there for him. I hope in the long run i will be with him. I will not give up on him. I will keep you posted on any progress. Your help was very much appreciated and what you are doing here in this forum is absolutely amazing. Helping people with their lives. May God be with you!

  • Hi Captain. Im updating about my situation to you. What you said to me to do, i have done. I managed to see him the other night. Things went well, but not where i want them to be. He has a business which he is trying to re-built after his divorce. All his time is devoted there, at the moment. He will not let himself get distracted from his goal. Please tell me do you see a future with him? What do i have to do to be with him? He is worth the waiting and i have seen that a lot of women are after him too. Should i keep on trying and be there for him? one more question i would like to know my future as in work , i do work, i love my job but im trying to find a better payed job. Thank you.

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