Help



  • i have been friends with a guy from 3 years. We started as a relationship but after a two years he told me he has turned gay. Then he wanted just friendship. Although it was painful, i asked him what about my dreams as a couple n of marrying him , he said he could just be friends. On occasions he would ask for gifts ..he would just ask for them. We used to meet after 1 month or so even though we were in the same city, he used to say he was busy or wanted rest. After one year of being friends, where he had relations with 3 guys, now it has left me out of patience, I asked him to end the friendship but he says that its precious.I take initiative in all monetary things, gifts, all phone calls and although he responds but never reciprocates with gifts or makes phone calls himself.Then why is he not letting me go. Although i still love him, when i think that he enjoying a relation aswell as a free friendship where he doesnt have to do anything. I dont understand what hes trying to do, what is going on ?



  • Don't ask to end the friendship....just let go. A friendship does not require gifts or financial support. A friendship means that you enjoy each others companionship and a sort of unconditional love....Be friends with him still - send him cards on his Birthday/Xmas if you want, phone or text him if you wish....but no more financial lending or gift buying unless you wish to do so only . If he asks for gifts say "No". You are not beholden to him. I think he is unfortunately using you and you need to stand up on your own two feet and do what you want to do. Also try and get out and socialise yourself and meet other guys who are going to love and respect you and let this one fade into the background. And in future, be generous because you want to be but never expect gifts back and you won't be disappointed and when you do get a positive response from someone, you'll feel like a million dollars and you'll appreciate the gesture a lot more! Best of luck.



  • i have tried to create gaps before also but then he again calls for help on the phone n iso relation keeps going on n on.....i feel offended when i help him because hes rejected my love. u mean to say i must keep talking to him but start dating other people.



  • Well you don't have to keep on talking to him if you don't want to. You are your own person. Being a pisces you are very caring and sensitive and they are qualities to be admired but if you are feeling offended by his requests at times then say "no". I can't understand why you are reluctant to date other people ....you are his FRIEND, not his lover anymore. I just think that if you socialise with other people (I don't mean for you to jump into bed with them!...unless you want to!) it may help you to see this guy as a friend only and he will also realise that you are not at his beck and call. I think he has got you on a piece of string and that he has already upset you emotionally by announcing his change of sexuality. You've grieved the loss of your dream future with him, and perhaps now is the time to move forward. Best wishes



  • Hi, Can you afford to help him and offer gifts. You need to listen to him and JUST BE FRIENDS. He wasn't honest w/you in the first place and that's why this has become a struggle. I think you can be friends only when you realize that the relationship as lovers and mates is over between you and him--ok. It is up to you whether you can afford to help him and how much you can help. If he can reciprocate by helping you clean, running to get something you need, fixing something etc. then that would show that he's willing to help. If he's not even willing to do this, I don't know if I would call him friend. You might want to call him "user" then.



  • i m reluctant to ddate other people coz i still love him , secondly sometimes i hope his sexuality will change again n we can be together again. but of late he got his guy friend to talk to me on the phone n he told me that i was obssessed with him, he just takes my calls because he cannot refuse me directly because he doesnt want to hurt me, when i asked him he said he did not know what that guy had talked with me n if he wanted to really end everything ,he cud have stopped picking my calls himself......after this episode i cud not believe him, how cud they be living together not know what his guy friend had told me on the phone....highly unlikely...............

    ..i have started feeling that maybe im being even cheated upon in the friendship...so when i do call him i dont feel nice, which i do coz my heart compels me too..

    im not taking my life seriously ........i keep thinking about the episodes n events where hes lied to me like above, n mistrust him now.............i think my calling him serves no purpose when hes just keeping me as a person whom he can call when necessity arises..........

    also i feel if i break up , atleast he'll know that i understood he was making a fool out of me..

    for concentrating on my own life, i feel i want to call him one day, tell him that i have decided i cant be his friend, mainly because i think he lies ...i dont want drama when i know im not going to be with him in the future....or i think i can email him n write all that i feel these days n tell him i want to end.....what should i do?

    my astrologer told me to create a gap and wait till september, he might turn around.

    should i wait till sept considering ive given in 3 years or do it right away.



  • You really need to let this man go.....but as I said it's up to you but I doubt he'll change his sexuality and even if he does there is no guarantee that he would want to date you or have a long term relationship with you again. He wants your "friendship".There doesn't have to be drama ...just take the plunge and go it alone...have "me" time and indulge yourself and retrieve your self respect. Move forwards....


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