Cancer woman left me, How can I get her back do I honestly have a chance?

  • I was with my girlfriend 2yrs and 3months. She woke up on Sept 26th 2010 and I said I'm leaving you and I can not marry you. The following monday she came to get her things. She left because of the following reasons, living with my mother who has schizpheria and would always insult her, I couldn't keep a stable job, I didnt pay on her engagement ring, i had to much responsibilities with my mother, and kids that live with there mother about 70 miles away. I had gotten to the point I had no money to even take her out for dinner. When she left I was devistated I had never loved anyone not even my kids mother as much as I did my girlfriend. At the time I didn't know how to resolve all the problems we had. I suspect my lack of effort to even pay for her engagement ring, and us not moving out was and made it easy for her to get back with her x husband after 5 yr divorce. All the reasons for her leaving are gone. My mother is in a rest home. I have a stable job and Im on my last year of school to get my Degree. My kids are grown almost I only have my son and he will be 18 next year. Its been almost 9 months since the break up. We have keep in touch via e mail or text. I have been the to start the e mails or texts. Im sure she felt like a house was lifted off her after being with me.. so much drama. Now all the Drama is gone... Do I honestly have a chance to get her back? She said she was done! When I asked her if she loved me the day she left she replied I love things about you. I m clearly not the same person she left and will all my heart and soul I still feel sense she cares for me.. I honestly would have left too for what I put her threw. I have gotten my real estate license, working on my degree, started a new job, got rid of all my 9 cars and only have two now. I have accomplished more in 9 months that the two years we were together. Please give me honest advice can I change her mind clearly she still responds to my texts and e mails.. for some reason either to know Im ok or because she still has feelings or because she wants me to be the 2nd best choice. What do you think?

  • There is always a chance. If there's a will, there's a way.

  • Thanks I believe there is a god. I have done so much for myself to improve my life. I just feel that she is the one for me and I did all the wrong things that pushed her away and not feel like she dont have a future with me. I have never loved anyone as much as I have love her.

  • 1st --I would not want to be ANYONE's 2nd choice!!

    2nd --if she went back to her husband after 5 yrs, then she can come back to you.

    3rd --communication is key to reuniting and you say you both email and call.

    4th --she went through a lot with you (a lot of it unloving and a turn-off) and she was not treated like your queen. you need to re-evaluate the way you treat her. A man's woman, deserves the purest, most loving and giving love that her man has inside of himself. And it should be given to her consistently. (and she you)

    5th --great that you recognize where you went wrong and are willing to change and did make changes so far.

    6th --anything is possible. speak the truth and speak from your heart with humbleness.

  • lucky number 7 -- PRAY for the answers and for love in your heart and hers

  • and be Thankful if God brings her back to you.

  • what sign are you?

  • Thank you for your honestly. She knows she was never loved by. Anyone else as much love I gave her. She told me this in her own words. I feel if I had the financial part taken care of I be the perfect man. I was loving, encourageing, made her laugh. Yes I shouldn't be second best. The last thing is communication was something I thoughts we had but I was wrong. She like to have a few drinks and im not much of a drinker or a sports nut like her

    She heavy into astrology and looked up our signs before we were together.

  • My sign is Capricorn. She even asked when I was born and time. She figured we we're a perfect match. I was born 2:03 on on january 4,1971 and she was born july 21,1969. Not sure the time. Anyone know if we are a good of match as she claimed?

  • If you really love her - do not give up. Think about all the good things ahead of you both and focus on improving yourself. Kmuse mentioned several good points to guide you.

  • Maybe you can offer her a bit of a compromise. She can slowly re-enter your life at her own pace, and see for herself if you've changed to her liking. It will probably help her give you a chance if you give her an "out", you know? Just in case she's paranoid that it's too good to be true.

  • Cancer and capricorn, are supposed to get along. (they are also supposed to get along with virgo, scorpio and pisces)

    From my experience with women born on July 21. (I have had friends and co-workesr with that b'date):

    They have A LOT of issues from childhood and usually they have very domineering and abusive mothers who meddle in their private life --actually, I have noticed that many cancers have this problem. July 21st people can be unevolved emotionally, get hurt easily, can have substance addictions, play a lot of head games, stubbornness, and irrational childish behavior, almost like they live in a bubble. (albeit, often a romantic, fantastical bubble). You have to wear kid gloves with them. They can be very bratty as adults. And dishonest early in life. Eventually they are able to change into a more honest person.

    They can also, hold onto the past and not let go. (They will never forget a love, and if it's their own fault for breaking up they won't admit their mistake til later in life...and will secretly pine for that other person. They will just act as if it's a mystery why it didn't work out. (However, if you did them wrong they will be very angry and ignore you, but they are able to forgive if you approach them with a sincere apology and a sweetness in your voice and love in your heart and hugs and kisses.)

    They are rarely without a partner. As if they cannot live without one. And in their unevolved stage they can be major users, using others very easily. They must be the Center of attention or there is trouble.

    Is this the case with her? If so, then rethink this woman, however, everyone deserves to be loved and it sound like she did stick it out with you for awhile. All said and done, if you come to this woman with an open heart and truthfulness, they will forgive and come to you.

    MariaRia has very good advice. But remember speak from your heart.

  • You nailed it. She is just as you describe. She loves to drink and her family. Im a lightweight drinkercompared to her. My friend was dating sister and told me last night she was not seeing x. I was wrong maybe. But I still want her back. I will try one last time. Roses and a professional made greeting card.

  • I will try in july to try to get her back. I will send her roses. I talked to some one and they told me my ex has been thinking of the roses I use to give her. I use to give her roses every month. My friends have said that im such a romantic beyond belief. I know my heart is strong now and I will try.

  • If you are what you say, and romantic as well, and treated her with honesty, love, honor, dignity, loyalty and respect...then she LOVES you...if not, then she is not a healthy-minded individual.

    You have some great ideas to woo her. Court her. Good Luck! And remember her birthday.

  • cjstone, are you saying that you were having 9 cars (it's called hording, by the way) while you two were together, but you couldn't afford take her out for dinner, or buy her a wedding ring ? Is that correct ? And you say you've accomplished more in 9 months that you were apart than during 2 years together? Is there a possibility that you were unconsciously sabotaging the relationship and part of you wanted to put her through hardship so that you didn't have to marry her and make her leave ? After all you told her directly that you couldn't marry her. Is it possible that now when she is gone you want her back just because you can't have her anymore, out of posessive feelings, and now you've convinced yourself that you love her ? It seems to me that you have lots of personal psychological issues to resolve before you get into relationship with anyone. Getting rid of 9 cars was a step in a right direction, like having arranged a professional care for your mum, but ask yourself, why were you not motivated to do it while she was with you ? If she comes back to you you might find yourself wanting to keep inflicting hardship on her one way or another, and nobody deserves it.

  • I will try in july to try to get her back. I will send her roses. I talked to some one and they told me my ex has been thinking of the roses I use to give her. I use to give her roses every month. My friends have said that im such a romantic beyond belief. I know my heart is strong now and I will try.

    -- go for it. 😄 don't give up. 🙂

  • Im not perfect. I have some issues. My mother was one main reason she left. My mother has schizophrenia. My mother would insult her never face to face. My mother would be in the next room. I did have a stable job to move out. Maybe I was not ready to marry. By all my mistakes I made it too easy for her to leave. She told me in the early stages after break up that she is happier less stress. I have gone threw so many battles with my mother over her. I know if we would live alone we would be bliss. We never fully have a chance to live together alone. We lived in a small crim she couldn't have free run of the house. I may never get her back but I must try. I never have loved anyone as much as I love her. I can still sense and feel she thinks of me but for her to come back would take alot. Any other advice? She maybe single or with someone I will try till the end of july.

  • conjunction: within 6 degrees of each other , varies

    semi-sextile: 30 degree (+/-2)

    sextile: 60 degrees (+/-6) favorable

    square: 90 degree (+/-6) difficult, potent

    trine: 120 (+/-6) harmonious - talent, opportunity

    quincunx: 150 (+/-3) - minor, difficult, health, stress

    opposition - +/-6, powerful, difficulty, tension

    when sun, moon, ascendent is involved, 8 degree orb


    I really relate as I am a Cancer (July 20) with Capricorn rising, so I kind of have a relationship such as the one you describe going on in my own head! I find they are very different energies which can be so beautiful when harmonized right - so it makes sense that dynamics are both challenging and at the same time worth working on and not giving up on, since the resolution can be so sweet.

    Also, I am currently in a relationship with someone who cannot completely provide for me, and let me tell you, it is a big challenge for a Cancer. I feel most emotionally secure when I am financially secure, so I am constantly sacrificing my psychological well-being for my emotions, which also run high. I am sure it was a near-impossible decision for her to get up and go, and I think it is really sweet that you both understand why it could have been a relief for you, and also that you recognize the reasons why she did and that a lot has changed for the better. The way it sounds to me, you have not forgotten her and a lot of key stuff is different. It sounds like you are not someone who has issues providing for a woman, but that it was just a matter of life circumstances. It sounds like things are much more in place now and there's a good chance she'll see that -- I think if you can communicate to her that you understand the difficulties that existed and that you genuinely believe things are different, that will touch her and help her believe that all of the good parts of your relationship can now live on with the right foundation.

    Based on your birthdays you two have some major strengths. Your synastry chart has sun in trine with Saturn, which can make for a working, durable relationship. If she opts in she can also help you with discipline and judgment, although you may have a good deal of your own as well.You also have Mercury in trine with Saturn, which means that you can be helpful in putting her problems into words, and she can help you with various aspects of life that call for being well organized mentally. Your Mercury-Uranus lineup can make for some mutual appreciation or collaboration when it comes to the way your mind works, emotional processing, or communication. Your Venus-Moon lineup is fabulous for love, a sign that you really enjoy each others' company and can be a fun couple to be around.

    It also makes sense that there was a lot of drama, because you two have moon in trine with Mars, meaning emotions run high and the relationship has to be very active. Interestingly enough it also means that she will put major pressure on you to be a provider and activate your full potential. On a practical level, because of your Moon-Neptune opposition, she can become frustrated with you and a difficulty "getting things going".

    Was she very sensitive and hurt easily in your relationship? Probably, because she is a Cancer. But also, you two have sun in square with moon - two major bodies in a hard aspect. This doesn't mean a no-go, but it does mean some barriers that require work. She can take offense easily, and you may spend a lot of time in a sort of Cold War dynamic. While Mercury trined with Saturn producing a positive aspect, Mercury also squares with moon, which can produce communication problems. Additionally because Venus is squared with Mars, she may end up feeling unappreciated.

    Also, some advice: Her Venus is trined with Uranus, such that she values independence in her partners, and will take interest when she senses a unique quality in them.

    What's more, her sun and moon are squared, such that she's deeply torn between her desire to stand on her own two feet, and her Cancer need to be cared and nurtured. She may even feel ashamed at her need for love and affection as a result of her independent streak. This could be related to some stuff from her upbringing. But be careful bringing it up: She can be uber-sensitive on matters relating to emotional security, and has a real fear of facing her own baggage. If she's like me, there's a fear of dealing with problems head-on, but a real liking for reading about her problems from a distance, as if they could be about someone else. Dealing with problems and issues directly can bring up some tender vulnerability. On this note her getting up and going is somewhat unlike her, and was probably pretty difficult.

    Be open to (gently) breaking some of her traditional notions of home and family - she secretly likes your independent side and deep inside needs to be free of authority and convention.

    Good luck!

  • Sorry about those numbers at the top, those were just my parameters.

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