Crazy Cancer

  • Like many of the other women whose posts Ive read I am also a victim of a horrible rollercoaster ride with a crazy cancer and I want to get off. I had dated my cancer for years. everything seemed to be quite romantic and we both seemed like the perfect match. I loved him and as far as i knew he loved me too. Id say things between us were serious for him as soon as we were in a relationship, however, i had old friends and attachemnts so I did not take things as seriously. However I did love him and I made it a point to make him aware of this. I had been in love before and it ended badly so i was determined to take my time and create a comfortable relationship for us both. I trusted him and for good reason. I had totally went out my norm and dated the type i wouldve never gone for. I knew that with a little building up, that i may have finally found myself a winner. As time progressed the tables shifted a lil bit and before I knew it, i was the one head over heels and all of a sudden Mr. Perfect made a turn for the worst. He got mixed up in a social group and started attending events where he would cheat. By this time I was in love, pregnant and wearing his engagement ring. This is 5 or 6 years down the line. He totally abandoned me when i was pregnant but then apologized so sincerely once we had our son and told me that he, my daughter, son and I would be the family that we planned and he thanked me for saving him from heading down the path in which he was headed. We were able to live together for 2 years tops before i kicked his disrespectful behind out for spending the night out on our anniversary because he'd spent the night out. It didnt end there. Now we fight all of the time over my son. He moved out and was in a new relationship and living with another woman within a week. It took months for me to even get my appetite back and once i did it was only because i had found my new sweetheart. He saw that I was happy and asked to come back home. once i ruined my new relationship for him he told me that he wasnt coming home although it was his begging that even made me consider it. We cant talk because hes constantly blaming me for putting him out. never mind that he was a cheater that treated me badly. I didnt write him off before 8 years of misery because this man turned hot to cold over night. i really thought it was a faze. its like i was dealing with a Mr Right for years until this damn alien took over. now nothing he says or does make sense. its like im dealing with a complete stranger. Today, im in a decent relationship but i cant lie, i still wait on my Mr Right to come back. Will he ever? If anyone can give me some insight, please do. Im so hurt behind all of this and im trying to heal. we have a child suffering a lot because of the messwe are going through.

  • MzBreeze wow I can't even imagine what it would be like to go through what you've gone through. My heart goes out to you. I wish I had good advice for this one but unfortunately I do not. It is possible that Mr. Right was Mr. Right for a time but then he let his lust consume him, causing him to become Mr. Wrong. I think Cancer's must be careful to guard their hearts and minds against temptation. I am fully aware of how lusty I can be and I know that I must pray every day and avoid situations that might tempt me to be the person I want to be. This is something that I unfortunately have to deal with because of my past misuse of s-e-x and self-gratification as an escape. S-e-x can become very addictive for the man who uses it as an escape, very much like a drug. If you and your ex ever get back together he is going to need lots of therapy to figure why he cheats. I would guess it is a self-esteem issue.

  • Cancerman, nobody can explain this one. His family was even amazed by his actions. We built a home filled with all the things that he loved which was complimentary to the loving relationship that we had. He walked away from everything. Toward the end he expressed discontent with everything. My job wasnt good enuff. He hated my fam. He hated my weight (mind u, I worked out and stayed in shape for him.) My family got on his nerve (mind , my fam thought he was a jerk and stayed away.) He said bein a family put him in debt. Ha! I paid half on everything. Furnished our home and purchased even his clothes. Im a realist so I understand ppl fall out of love but the fact that he left for a lady that doesnt possess any of the qualities that I do or that he expressed is both hurtful and amazing. She doesnt work. They live in a boarding house. He left his home for a roo with a chick with 2 kids.

  • MzBreeze

    I don't know but it's possible that Mr. Right was just him being the person he needed to be to get you, and then when things got real, he didn't want to deal so he blamed everything on you and your family and then went back to who he truly is.

    Again, I have no idea if that is the case, but he doesn't sound like a good guy. Sorry if that hurts to hear. Love is so hard and so blinding. Trust me, I know how you feel. I'm still trying to get over my ex who treated me badly as well, but not nearly as bad as your man treated you. If your new man seems like a good guy you sould try to give him a chance. That's my honest opinion. Your ex sounds like he has a lot of work to do on himself and that can only happen if he recognizes his problems, and who knows if he does.

  • Ive come to accept him for the jerk that he is. It took a year to get over him and all of the pain that he brought in with him. I have no regrets other than having a child by him, as I see the pain and disappointment it has brought my son. It hurts deeply to know that there is no remedy for that part. I kinda sorta believe in astrology to some degree but at the end of the day its always those little things about us that makes us unique. Astrology told me that we were a match made in heaven and that cancers was offense but im still waiting to meet one of those and I know ALOT! lol. Either way i wish him the best and although its hard to accept defeat, i would like to shake the hand of the youngster that took him off my hands. she has no idea what shes in for after the fun run out and the responsibility filter in. he'll lean on her till she break then leave. smh. I was convinced that the 1st 2 childrens mother were the reason they were single mothers. I totally understand why they both left the state he was in and went to live elsewhere. lbvs

  • MzBreeze

    So you're telling me this man has two other children by two other women? And did you know this before you started seeing him?

    Yeah, Cancer's are not any more loyal than any other sign. Loyalty has nothing to do with our zodiac in my opinion.

  • yes he had two children and he was open enough to express his love for them and his sadness regarding his not playin an active role in their lives. He had me when on xmas he cried because he couldnt spend it with them. He said said that one lady was a cheater and the other insecure. I figured I should be fine because I was neither of those things. He pursued me heavily and seemed far too sincere to be anything other than a gentleman.

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