Captain, can you help me?



  • I am not sure why you regret the moving on of men from your life who were not right for you. Do you think you have unrealistic expectations about men? That you project what you want them to be onto their real personalities, then are dreadfully disappointed when your fantasy turns out to be just that?



  • I'm not sure why I was so upset. I know that I didn't want to see Luis anymore. He was assuming that I did until I pinned him down to talk about it and he agreed that he didn't want to see me anymore. Nelson and I worked at the same place for a year and a half and we would talk whenever he was in. I think I know what day was his goodbye, but it wasnt made clear. I heard it from my supervisor that he wasn't coming back. Nelson, if nothing else, was a fun person to talk to at work...who I hoped could help my career. As for David, the relationship hadn't really begun...so I suppose there's no loss. The timing just felt like it was compounding the hurt.



  • It sounds like you may have some issues of abandonment if the departure of casual or unsuitable people affects you so much.



  • Hello, Captain,

    I hope you are well. It's been awhile since I've sought your help.

    David and I finally got together at the new year after many months of twice a month phone calls. It was good and bad. We have spoken on the phone since. Coldly at first, but I thought we were working past the disastrous new year date.

    The bothersome thing, that makes me believe that we're done, is that twice now we've made plans that he has cancelled.

    The first time, it was over the period of a week. He told me he wanted to see me again. The day we were to get together, he cancelled citing work obligations. The following weekend...again. He called me, said he wanted to see me again. Once plans were made...during the same phone call, he was cancelling again. Again saying he had to work. I want to see him again but I don't want to be made a fool of either. So during our chats, he tells me he had a meeting with a VP at his job Wednesday. I made one of my rare calls to him to ask how it went. That's all I wanted because I'm busy with preparing for what I hope is a productive job interview next week. He gave me the most vague description of the meeting, then started telling me how he was busy this weekend. I told him I wasn't trying to insinuate myself on his weekend. At the end, I told him I would talk to him some other time, and I was going to sleep.

    Captain, please tell me, is he honest with me? will we see each other again?

    Thank you for your help,

    Lola