Hans, aside from the other updates, I just wanted to also let you know that I realized and now understand completely when you mentioned ego in a few of my questions. It makes alot of sense, I remembered that ego is not just arrogance, its to take things or actions personally and for a long time thats what Ive done with the situation with my ex. I took it so personally that it took me awhile to actually let it go completely. Im fully aware of that ego now and Im prepared to drop it completely-just drop it. It happened, I cant go back and change it. I can grow it is a blessing in so many ways and I actually realize he did me a favor by leaving looking back on everything. Even though I loved him, I was using him as a security blanket in all sense of the word and even worrying about him a few days ago (after a discussion with Watergirl18 and LOAP about the friend request and him in general) just made me realize that. He has alot to learn in his life and I hope he finds everything he is looking for. I may not forgive his actions but I forgive him as a person-he is who he is and I cant change that-His actions dont speak for who I am or what I am worth to anyone. I may have cleaned out so much clutter in my life or let go of alot of things but I have so much room to be filled now.
Btw, LOAPs cards said he would contact me but honestly I dont think I care about that anymore-think about the consequences and what all goes with it? (I started to think of inviting that since of burden back into my life looking at my father and mother-I deserve better and I would be limiting myself if I thought that inviting someone who acted so selfish and rude in the end) It wouldnt benefit me more than likely and might even be a annoyance lol I can now proudly say I am moving on as I continue my adventures in life. Thank you for everything Hans
PS: Im going to take my time and internalize everything Ive learned and continue to learn not just understand or be knowledgable of it. Ive reached a pinnecle in my personal journey why not keep going......
Any last words Hans? (I dont think I will be here on this forum for awhile-Ive realized/know I can trust my own judgement, wisdom, intellect, guidance and intuition)
any last words? travel easily with economy and simplicity. This brings merit.
I am reminded of a small child who used to come to visit Picasso often, and who lived nearby, in the neighborhood. He became very friendly with Picasso. He was just five or six years old, but very daring. Seeing Picasso painting continually, one day he also brought a paper and showed it to Picasso saying, "Look at my painting."
Picasso looked at his painting and he said, "My God, what is this?"
The boy said, "It is a cow eating grass."
Picasso said, "You have defeated me. Where is the cow?"
The boy said, "Don't ask stupid questions. The cow has gone home. After eating the grass, do you think the cow will remain there?"
Picasso said, "Okay, but where is the grass?"
The boy said, "You are absolutely unintelligent. When the cow has eaten the grass, how can it be there?" It was just a plain paper that he had brought.
Picasso said, "I love your intelligence. It really puzzled me when you said the cow you have painted, and I could not see any cow. I have been puzzling the whole world and you have puzzled me."
Thank you Hans, take care and hope everything works out well for you
it is as if a bud has come to the rose bush. You can force it open, it can be opened forcibly, but it won't have the same beauty. You have killed something, you have destroyed it, you have been violent. You should have waited. And waiting does not mean that nothing has to be done. Water the bush, put fertilizers in the soil, protect the bush with a fence. Take every care so that the bush is nourished, is strong, because the more nourished the bush is, the stronger the rose is going to be, the longer it is going to stay on the stem.
The richer the soil is, the more fragrant the rose is going to be. But these are indirect methods to help. You should not simply go and force the bud to open. One can force it, and one will have a certain kind of flower, but it will be half-dead, stillborn; almost from its very birth it is dead.
I catch your drift Hans. I will be ok I promise...I will make sure everything and every aspect of my mind body and soul is nourished , fertilized and protected-the rose bud will grow stronger and stronger and blossom into a beautiful, refreshed, captivating and powerful being.......
Take care Hans (I promise I will be ok)