Cancer Man & Pisces Woman- Need Help and Advise Please.
Hi...I have a friendship with a Cancer man that is very confusing. This is long distance, countries away, no hope seeing one another soon, well maybe in a few months, but only every few months because of his job. We have been friends since college, haven't talked or seen one another since 1994 until recently. We started talking again last August. I have been separating from my spouse, he left in December, we are legally separated. The past three months have been VERY difficult.
We started talking a lot as friends, some things were said to hint at an interest for more, but how? Once my life got difficult I have been diving into depression and really started being way too serious with my Cancer friend. You know losing one love and instantly transferring and hoping for another. We talked a lot during this time Dec- now...but I think I may have appeared oddly attached, too expressive of "emotions" I was feeling...I see now it was misplaced emotion, even though I am interested. The last two months he has been slowly pulling away, less and less communication. But, he has also started a new job at this time, which is VERY busy 7 days a week, was on vacation for two weeks, etc.
I finally asked what was up, with a big confessional, and that I need a break. He wrote back that wasn't a good timing, he's not interested in any type of relationship, and I am making a lot up in my head. Which I admitted,even though he did say things at different times, like he saw 'signs' and thought of me (didn't know what they meant, etc). HE also had these feelings, felt strong connection, maybe we could have something, just didn't know how. There are ways and I was willing to explore it casually. We had talked about meeting someone, because I will be travelling but when I asked this past week, no response.
Any insight into this situation? I miss him and would like to return to friends. Does he think I am crazy? Why has he pulled away? Was he interested and now it is too much? Is he just busier now with new job? New romance near him? How can I convince him that I would like to (and can) be just friends. Just need a minute to take it down a few notches. I just regret being so serious, but I was in a weird place. I don't know how to fix this...or let it go. I just wish he could see me for me.
I really thought Cancer liked a lot of attention...but I think I was over the top, even for me.
I agree fully. I am a cancer woman (on a cusp)with guy tendencies. So, this situation is far too familiar. Cancers are serious at the moment. But, also DO NOT pick them up and start spinning. Which means they aren't serious until you are right in their arms. We often find ourselves not ready for change and procrastinate for the right moment to make a difference. I have found that Time is what matters. It always has. To have this shell stuck on our backs is not comfortable. The signs are real and there. If you are really interested in him. Be patient and wait and see what happens. you may have went over top. But I think he still likes you. Give him that space that cancers crave. But, at the same time again they want to be..... almost smothered.
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It’s true they can be flirts and not realize how much it would draw the other person in, especially when that person is in a vulnerable state. Quite often in the initial stages they will carry you away in the emotions of the moment and then reality pulls them back to analyze the permanence of those emotions.
You’re looking for an explanation because his seeming rejection has left you even more vulnerable but what’s really important is that you have to heal and he is actually doing you a favour by pulling back. The only way to bring him back at a friendship level is to keep it very casual which also means you have to expect less, “care” less; not worry about him thinking you’re crazy, or why he pulled away, or if he has a new romance etc. So if you are sincere in that you’re ready for just friendship then you have to take it down several notches as suggested.
The only way he will see you for who you is if you show him the real you. Why would he see anything different if that is who you’re being?