To The Captain - Need some insight with Virgo relationship
Hello to The Captain,
Hoping you can give me some insight. My story so far is as follows:
I am a Capricorn female (Jan 11/73 - initials CPW) extremley interested in a Virgo male (Sept 11/76 - initials BJL). I, as so many other postings have stated, am very confused by his intentions.
We have known each other for about 13 years. We met at work and shortly thereafter, started dating.
There was an instant attraction between both of us....magnetic. We had a great summer together. He even invited me to his family reunion. But things started to fizzle once the summer was over. He was always putting me on the backburner and then started dating another girl. I took the hint and moved on. Met another man (Gemini) and got married.
I would run into my Virgo every once and a while. We would always be so happy to see each other...and it was always good to see him. I never lost my attraction to him....ever!
Then things changed for me dramatically. My husband committed suicide in August of last year. I had befriended my Virgo on facebook and had told him the bad news. He told me he was dating a girl. So, I again, left him alone.
He then came into contact with me via facebook before Christmas. He was single and gave me his cell number. We ended up spending New Year's together and had an amazing time.
Or course, things were good at first. We would see each other. Have lots of great talks and just enjoyed each others company. I always felt this was on his terms and still couldn't shake the feeling that I was being put on the backburner.
Now, here I sit, 3 month's later. Don't know where I stand with him and am very confused by his intentions.
When we are together we enjoy each other so much. He tells me how much he likes me....how attractive I am to him, how smart I am, loves my humour, how he likes that we are so in tuned to each other. Even tells me all about his investments and says stuff like "we will be fine finacially". I questioned why he would say "we". He than says "oh, meant to say me, not we". Says stuff like this all the time, as if we are going to be together for a long time.
But when apart, I feel like I don't exsist.....
Doesn't reply to my texts a lot of the time. And when he does, the replies are very ambiguous. Very non-committal. Unless he wants to do something....it's always on his terms and his time.
Quite frankly....he's driving me nuts!!!
Don't quite know what to do with this guy......Love him or leave him. My heart says...stick it out. But my heads says...run, don't walk!!!
Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. Good or bad....I've dealt with so much so far. Head strong, but with a sensitive heart. I need to know regardless of the outcome.
A love affair here can be magnetic and nonthreatening. It can occasionally be exclusive and in certain cases physically obsessive, so you two must beware of a tendency to cut yourselves off unduly from society. The undeniable self-sufficiency that manifests here may thus become the relationship's simultaneous strength and weakness. You both have a tendency to serve others and should you marry, this trait will be magnified, auguring well for raising children, keeping pets or caring for each other, particularly in your advancing years.
This relationship works surpisingly well in many areas of life - the emphasis is on an easy emotional give-and-take. An immediate understanding often emerges between you, accompanied by a muted but direct sort of communication. You CC tend to have a secret inferiority complex about appearing stupid or foolish to others, but it somehow is not too activated here, although you do admire your friend's intelligence and achievements. He on the other hand may come to depend on your for protection and financial advice as you are the more powerful partner in this regard. At times his rationality will have problems with your more religious, spiritual or metaphysical interests, but it also happens that these qualities can prove inspirational for him. Ethics, sex, and money (especially) are issues for him. He needs financial security more than almost anything in his life in order to gain a sense of comfort and stability, and to feel good about himself and be able to bond with another person. But he can never have enough money or personal property to relate to others and to make the changes that will add vitality and power to his life. At some point he will have to let go of self-concern and take a risk by putting his full power and heart into a relationship. Otherwise, he will fall into the trap of an unending search for accumulation of or acquisitiveness for possessions and people. He also must release his attraction to short term amusements or affairs and develop the self-mastery not to permit distractions at any cost. Focusing on just one situation, goal, or person and releasing his tendency to procrastination is difficult for him, but it is his life mission to achieve such constancy, so as to find real lasting happiness and fulfillment.
You on the other hand must beware of your need for someone to take care of you. Dependence on another person can lead you into a never-ending search for emotional security, which can force others into becoming a basis for your safety. But you can never get from others what you think you need to be a capable adult and to take charge of and responsibility for your own life - you simply have to do it for yourself. You can create your own safe secure environment within yourself by pursuing a goal that energizes you or by discovering an ideal or set of principles that builds your self-esteem so that you feel safe in whatever circumstances you find yourself.
If you can both overcome your issues, then there is a real chance here for a good and happy lifelong relationship.
Thank you so very much for taking the time to do this reading for me.
It did indeed give me insight. Touched on some things that I was already aware of. And some things that made me think..hmmmm, makes sense. And that I need to work on internally.
Very kind of you to respond. Again, thank you