Help with my Virgo guy
I am a Capricorn female (Jan 11/73) extremley interested in a Virgo male (Sept 11/76). I, as so many other postings have stated, am very confused by his intentions.
We have known each other for about 13 years. We met at work and shortly thereafter, started dating.
There was an instant attraction between both of us....magnetic. We had a great summer together. He even invited me to his family reunion. But things started to fizzle once the summer was over. He was always putting me on the backburner and then started dating another girl. I took the hint and moved on. Met another man (Gemini) and got married.
I would run into my Virgo every once and a while. We would always be so happy to see each other...and it was always good to see him. I never lost my attraction to him....ever!
Then things changed for me dramatically. My husband committed suicide in August of last year. I had befriended my Virgo on facebook and had told him the bad news. He told me he was dating a girl. So, I again, left him alone.
He then came into contact with me via facebook before Christmas. He was single and gave me his cell number. We ended up spending New Year's together and had an amazing time.
Or course, things were good at first. We would see each other. Have lots of great talks and just enjoyed each others company. I always felt this was on his terms and still couldn't shake the feeling that I was being put on the backburner.
Now, here I sit, 3 month's later. Don't know where I stand with him and am very confused by his intentions.
When we are together we enjoy each other so much. He tells me how much he likes me....how attractive I am to him, how smart I am, loves my humour, how he likes that we are so in tuned to each other. Even tells me all about his investments and says stuff like "we will be fine finacially". I questioned why he would say "we". He than says "oh, meant to say me, not we". Says stuff like this all the time, as if we are going to be together for a long time.
But when apart, I feel like I don't exsist.....
Doesn't reply to my texts a lot of the time. And when he does, the replies are very ambiguous. Very non-committal. Unless he wants to do something....it's always on his terms and his time.
Quite frankly....he's driving me nuts!!!
Don't quite know what to do with this guy......Love him or leave him. My heart says...stick it out. But my heads says...run, don't walk!!!
Anyone out there interested in giving me any suggestions....if so, please HELP. This is consuming way to much of my time and focus!!!
First, i am very sorry about your husband, my husband committed suicide also it will be 5 years in November...what I'm feeling is that you still need time to get over the shock of loosing your husband...its so easy for us women or men to go back to someone who we were attracted to before our loss..My advice is to go slow and let him contact you and for you to really take some time and figure out if this attraction is more out of loneliness or is it based on the past attraction you have had for him. he seems to be running hot and cold...like i suggested you can back off and see what happens or you could be living like you are now always wondering whats going on with him...i truly wish you healing,love,peace and the answers you are searching for and i believe that you have the answer already inside of you...
take care sweetie
I too am sorry to hear about your loss. It's a emotional pain that will never quite go away. But from pain comes strength....and I tell myself that everyday.
Thank you so much for the advice and insight. I have told myself many times to "cool my heels" with him. My heart and head are constantly in a tug of war.
But I think you are quite right. If he is really interested he will come to me and show it.
Above all, I do cherise his friendship and I respect him in that way.
I also respect myself enough to know that I do need time to heal. Sometimes we all have to walk this path in life on our own.....I guess this is my time and I should embrace it.
Thank you again. And take care
I love to read all the posts on this forum. Everyone has such problems. Seems they are most about love and relationships.
My husband also committed suicide. Unless someone goes thro it, it is hard to describe what it really feels like and how long you will grieve. My heart goes out to you. Now you are trying to move along in your life and a relationship you are interested in is disappointing. I know what you are feeling. It does get better.
If you get a chance, I started a forum to Markie808.
It said welcome and some insight please. Please read it. I found it exactly right.
Many good wishes to you. I will look forward to see how you are dealing with your life.
Please accept my condolences for your husbands loss...it's a shame when someone feels so lost that the only way out is taking their own life. Breaks my heart to know that there are so many of us "survivors" out there dealing with the pain of losing someone through suicide....such a shame.
Thank you for your kind words, much appreciated
Funny thing is that I had already read your forum. It inspired me to post my own!
Never done anything like this before....So I hope you don't mind me asking this but how do you go about getting a reading like you did?
Can I just post a forum to Markie and hope to get a reading?
@Rubyredlips, gosh I'm sorry for your loss also, you think we were all suppose to be here...what are the chances of three of us loosing our partners to suicide...and showing up on one post.
@CC, I'm also going through some of the relationship issues you are facing, I've been with my partner now for two years...and i have decided to take some time for me once again to figure out whats best for me...I have an 11 year old daughter also..so I'm beginning to ask myself some tough questions.".loneliness" is what gets me into the should i stay or should i go, i think thats a song..lol
Take care to the both of you
peace,love and light
cute cappy just start a new thread with markies name on it,hes starting to get bombarded and thats what usually happens to the readers...i also think he comes on later in the day, we are all on different time zones..hehe I'm in canada...you could always start a thread for the captain also..she too is in a different time zone lol..Australia i believe..its always best to start a new thread because it interferes with the other persons request and also the readers message to that person....hope this helps...
anytime you want to talk just give me a shout I'll keep and eye on your thread...again take care
peace,light and love
Great....thanks for the advice on the treads. Like I said, never done this before LOL!
Think I'll send it out to the captain. I'm also in Canada...so I'll just watch for any replies.
P.S. Think we all ended up here as kindered spirits!
I have read so many forums that you have posted on. Never had I read that your husband committed suicide. Wow ! What a strange little group we have going with the 3 of us. All of us survivors. I hope things work out for you and your relationship, that meaning however it works out best for you. I was married for so long that I didn't remember how to flirt or date. It hasn't always been easy but I sure am finding out who I am and how strong I really can be. Keep in touch please.
I will have to look and see what the captain has to say to you. This was my 2nd post. The 1st one the person never answered me. lol If you want you can have a few posts going. I am blown away at the generosity of the psychics on this forum. To take from your own life to help others looking for answers is so wonderful. I always feel better after reading their answers. I hope you have a good reading. Please keep in touch also.
@Ruby, i had changed my user name awhile back it used to be "shatz", when i first joined Tarot..I think i have only spoke of my partners passing a few times....Once in detail to a woman who was desperately seeking answers with her grief, we have now became good cyber friends...I do float around quite a bit don't I lol..
Its just so strange at times to feel such love and compassion for those that we have never met or seen.I have done some huge growth by being on tarot, great friendships have been made from all over the world.
Ruby, sorry i seem to give everyone a personal nickname hehe, i hope this is not to personal but are you in another relationship...Or is it to soon? its so hard to put this down without a possibility of opening some pain you may still be going through...
as i said to CC aka cutecappy anytime you want to talk just give me a shout I'll check this thread i have it saved.
peace,light and love
from Vancouver Canada
hi cutecappy, CC another nickname lol..i see you got your response from the captain, I'm happy that it gave you some incite...anyways, just checking in with you also
peace,light and love
shee my nickname lol
How are things in Canada? I live about 40 miles north of Los Angeles. So you are a Leo too? If you get a chance, look at my forum with Markie808. It starts out welcome and some insight please. I loved the response he (?) gave me.
I had to wait a while to start dating again. I joined a dating site after a year of us being separated. My ex had hooked up with a woman he met in a mental hospital. He was 53 and she was a 29 yr.old bipolar, heroin addict. We had many problems before this as I knew he was being unfaithful and lying, lying, lying. A week after I decided to move on I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I stayed for the year I went thro treatment. It was so hard as he was not sympathetic to my illness. I kept my faith by telling myself when I get done with all of this....he is gone from my life. The time came and I told him it was time for him to go. This was a big scene and he ended up in the mental hospital. I was finally free.
I had a hard time with dating at first. I wanted to go out and meet men, but had been with my ex for 30 years ( 20's to 50's ) Also the breast cancer scars were still there. My ex was still calling because his girlfriend was on and off with him, and he wanted to come home. Like that was going to happen. I met a lot of frogs and kissed them, but I never was intimate. I got some therapy, which helped a lot, and got stronger. I learned if a man isn't treating you well, kick him to the curb and move on. Life is too short to let a man treat you badly. I did finally meet someone. We had such a rocky start it is surprising where we are today.
I would love to hear about your life and experiences. I think when you have a child , like you do , your problems are more complicated than mine. You have someone else to worry about and you can't be selfish like I was. After my husbands suicide I quickly found out who my real friends were. I think some people thought it may be catching and were afraid for their own marriage.
Wow !! Hope I didn't bore you. This is wonderful to share woman problems with a woman. Take care of yourself.