Broken hearted after loss of only child...

  • Dear TrueGem,

    Thank you for your response, Yes for many years I did feel alone, but I have realised that there are many connections in this world. Thank you for your kind words, I have released the traumas and am moving forward, like you I have to work hard at keeping the gremlin thoughts at bay, however with practice it can be done.

    Prayer is one of the greatest gifts people hold in this world though enough people dont realise it's power.

    I will keep comming back to this thread from time to time to catch up.

    may all the souls experiencing pain or feeling lost reach out and let others help, this is what it took me 14 years to discover.

    Bless you all. Tyche x

  • Everyone!

    I haven't been on this thread for about a week, I guess. As the time draws near my sons accident my heart gets heavy (litterally). I have gained some strength to battle the depression and pain during this time from all of your comments, helpful advice, and most of all your prayers. When my heart aches I seek out updates on all the organ recipients since this too brings much peace in that his death was not in vain. So I am providing an update for all of you that have followed along with me.

    Heart- Male in Texas and doing very well. Is a father of a six year old son. Have not had direct contact with him as of yet.

    Kidney & Pancreas- Female from Oklahoma. Mother of two children. She is doing very well. Have not had direct contact yet.

    Liver- Male in Oklahoma. He is the father of two daughters. He has written to me and said he is doing very well and back on the golf course.

    Prayers needed for the families of the two we lost in July. Lung recipient and Kidney recipient. Also, I learned that Chris' corneas were not able to be used due to swelling. That was a little disheartening because like in the movie, I think it was, P.S. I love you; I had hoped for the day to look into Chris' beautiful dark brown eyes again. Now it will only be through photos and memories.

    Chris' Pug dog, MoJo, was killed last week also. A friend helped me bury him at the bottom of the tree where Chris had the accident. I guess he wanted him in heaven with him. He loved that dog!

    We have a LifeShare ceremony coming up in October whereas we present a quilt patch of our loved ones that gave gifts of life in 2008. And we will be presented with a Memories book with our loved ones in it. I'm trying to get my brother to come from Colorado to be with me during this ceremony. My mother, whom still doesn't like to talk about Chris or the recipients, didn't show any interest in going with me to this ceremony. Ya'll mention this trip in your prayers please. I really don't want to go alone!

    Well, I guess that's about it for now. Thank you all for all your support and prayers. May you all be blessed abundantly and over flowing.


  • Hello True Gem...I am new to the site ..I know some time has passed since you began , so I hope I am not re-opening your wound but I would like to say my heart goes out to you. We all say "I know I would not be able to handle that" when we hear of the pain of others but somehow when faced with tragedy we draw strength from our higher power and we manage to cope and with each day we grow stronger...I do not know what stage you are in your grief but you will reach the place where the tears will turn to smiles as you recollect times together and pleasurable moments shared...death of the young is a concept that is hard to understand because it seems like people should live a full life before prayers are with you...stay strong

  • Dear Sherry,

    Nov,2nd is my birthday,and also the day my 25yr old son Joshua died.He too,was killed in an automobile accident.It will be 7yrs this year.I am so so very sorry for this loss you have suffered,when I read your post I started crying and still am,I do know exactly what you are going through,and my heart breaks for you!

    I could tell you all the things people say when these things happen but I won't,I will tell you the truth as I see it.

    It will get easier at times to accept and deal with,( AT TIMES) then it will all hit you,out of the blue like it just happened. They say there is a reason for everything,that I don't believe either,for I just do not see any reason for something like this to happen to anyone.No matter what!

    Not everyone that this happens to survives,just a fact,I believe it is the hardest thing anyone could ever have to deal with,but you sound like a strong person! and in my heart,I feel you will make it through even on the hardest day.

    Josh was my life and my soul! I've made it this far,with the help of his friends to keep reminding me of how much we loved him and how much he loved us, and as your son was so was mine an organ donor,from joshua two people were blessed enough to be able to see again. He had the most beautiful eyes! I hope they see as he did.

    Listen to stories about your son from friends,remember the times in your heart,hold on to the love and believe in yourself. Even when you think you can't bear anymore,REMEMBER THE LOVE,that will help you make it through another day.

    My heart, my thoughts, my soul, goes out to you!


    my son;

  • Dear Sherry,

    I would love to make Chris a quilt patch or help if you would like me to help or go with you in October please let me know? As I know it's not easy going alone, just remember your not alone you have your guardian angel and Chris at your side!



  • Dear eforever:

    Welcome to this thread. I think you will enjoy many of the topics presented on this site and may even enjoy sharing your kindness and strenght with those such as myself that have been going through such a tragedy. If you have read this entire thread you can see that many have suffered just as I am through the loss of a loved one or a child. I took a leap of faith by starting this thread and it has been a wonderful thing for me since I have received alot of great advice and have made some new spiritual friends. I think you will be a great asset to this thread as well just by you kind and wise words.

    As far as me being strong! Wow, my friends and family say the same thing, but they just dont get to see much of me from behind closed doors when the house is very quiet, no teen-age boys running in and out, or playing video games or loud music, or constantly running to the frig. They say "what don't kill ya, makes ya stronger". Well, I'm still alive and sometimes I feel like I am getting stronger!

    Thank you for your comment and I hope you will stay with us; I feel you have good things to contribute.


  • Dearest WeepingWillow:

    My first wedding anniversary was Nov. 2nd! I too cried while reading your post, still am. I don't know how you do it! How do you celebrate your birthday on such a day of loss as well! My heart goes out to you and I will be praying for you as this 7 year mark comes upon you. You sound as though you have gotten past SOME of the worst times. And I know how having Joshua's friends around can help so much.

    I was glad to hear that your son was a brave young man and organ donor as well. My son was so adiment about being a donor. I feel that "yes" somehow the two people that received sight again because of Josh will also see life as he did. They may not even be able to explain sometimes the feelings they get about certain things but we know it is Josh.

    I feel like I am just jabbering trying to respond to you, maybe it's because I am still crying so I will close for now and reply again later. I am going to try to post Chris' photo now!

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. May your higher power continue to bless you with the strength needed to endure this! I know He's always with you.


  • This is the article that was posted in The Daily Oklahoman. This pic was a couple of years prior to his death, but depicted the look he generally had on his face. I hope this will post this time!

  • Chris:

  • Well I cant seem to get a photo on here! Any suggestions!

  • Dearedt DevineEvanescence, my friend:

    Oh honey, you are so sweet. How could you make a trip like this with all that you are having to endure as well at this time? I will keep you posted as to wether my brother is coming or not! It amazes me of your love and kindness!

    Please update us on how things are going in your life!


  • Dear WeepingWillow,

    I am sorry for your loss, as you may know this too will pass and know this he is always at your side. You and sherry inspire me so much, I don't know how you look forward another day. As I know all to well that when one door closes it will be hard for me to look forward to another. Your son was a beautiful soul and just remember you are the reason that he had touched so many lives. I know that I too can be strong, I will think back and remember my friends words of encouragement.

    Live,Love,Laugh Often Life is too short not too

  • Dear DevineEvanescence

    I'm glad you find some inspiration through many of us that have come together via this forum. I know you have a very tough road ahead of you. I believe you will have the strength you'll need to carry you through. I will be there for you! Until that day comes when that chapter of your life's book has ended continue to live each day to it's fullest, as I know you are already!

    Love ya girl! Your always in my thoughts and prayers!


  • Trying a photo of Chris again!

  • Once again....

  • This really ticks me off...cannot seem to get a photo posted and I resized it to fit their deminsions. Sorry...will keep trying.

  • forgive my spelling if I make errors I had a bad day and when I read the posts cant stop crying.try rescanning your pic save it in" my pictures" in a new folder.check the deminsions and then try uploading it again.Bless you both your posts my the day a little better.


  • Thanks WeepingWillow: I will try that and see if it will work. Sorry your having a bad day, or week, or anytime. I understand this all too well. Sometimes it hits me hard without any notice what so ever! I keep you in my thoughts and prayers as with all the others from here!

  • What a night! I had a really tough night last night! My heart has ached for the past week...literally! I kow what it is and I maintained within some peace through most of it this time; but, last night got me and hard! 10 months yesterday! And it seems like it's been an entire lifetime already!

    I had a visit yesterday from my "adopted daughter" (not really but I always called her that). Her name is Katt and she and my son were inseperable for about 2 1/2 years. She practically lived with us for about a year. She stopped by to show me the High School annual with a tribute to Chris on the last page of the Junior section. We shared stories while we laughed together and cried together. Although it was a very emotional visit it was a great visit as well! She wanted to know if Chris's room was still the same? So we opened the door to his room and the first thing she said was "it still smells like him". And it does. I can't bring myself to go in his room very often. But ever now and then I will open it just to get a wiff of him.

    So today, I try to start again getting through another day, seeking some peace! God ~ I miss him so much! Sorry, but I have to close this for now!


  • Chris~

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