Ms. CWB please give me sometimes please..
Hello! There My Dear CWB I need your advice I find myself getting naughty and confused why I am doing this now.Anyways , I met this guy last year and his only 23yo. he was totally drunk then and I was told by him that I am attractive and he ask me how old I am. I said to him that I'm 35 yo and again he gave me compliments that it doesn't show on my ages. I don't know what's on my mind I always wanted to send him message cos he gave me his number but I don't gave mine in return.I felt so boring one time and send him message. I said hi and reply who is this and I said it's me . He was surprised and asking me when can I meet him for coffee of course I'm bored I said how about tonight we met up and his always staring at me and it's kinda annoying until now his doing that every time we catch up and I told him it's not to do that cos it's kind intimidating for me. We both agree to keep each other company if we have free time and we both not expecting relationship.I do admit I enjoy having him around. We both live in the city and his working at the country 4hrs drive in the city I met him at the country and I only see him when my company asking me to do some work in the country that he work. I always wanted him to come and visit me at my place in the city. I was in the city and he was in the country and I send him message if he have plan to spend his day off in the city. He said I will be there tomorrow and probably visit you it didn't happen and I get upset cos he told me that he need to spend time with his mates cos he will be away for several yrs . But I'm getting cranky and told him he should told me earlier and I don't like I am waiting for nothing and I said to him. I won't see him again and delete my number. He messagese that I don't need to get mad him and please understand him cos he never thought that the party will end up two days . I can really control him I am bad. After a few week my company send me in to his area . I'm thinking I have to make up with him cos I need him sometimes when I need some company . Then I message him and he said who is this I said it's me that time his working night shift and sometimes working 12 to 14 hrs so he was totally flat out and I do understand him but I am playing game again and I was surprised when he asking me to spend time at his place. He usually spend time with me at the place were I stayed in a country. He was very open to me so I am he bought a house in a country and he has mates renting in his place and had four bed room but I honestly wont buy that cos for me it's a crap cos he was only 23yo. Oh well I went to his place and show me everything so now I believed in him and i like his to little dogs and mother cat and one kitten plus some birds that night was the intence moment that we ever had and this long weekend I am expecting him to visit me apparently he already had plan spend with his friends. And I get mad again . I felt bad cos I feel like I'm giving him responsiblity which I shouldn't to that . And by the way I always told him that he needs to erase my messages and I had picture that I send to him and I decided to tell him to delete that . When I was in his place I don't know why I ask him can you show me your mobile and show me if he deleted my message cos I'm using company mobile far out all of the messages was there plus my pic and I said his silly cos he told me everything was deleted and I while his deleting my message and watching him doing that I saw some girls name and sweet messages but I wouldn't ask him who are they cos I know I am not in the position but I'm kinda bordering cos he might having relationship and I don't want him to cheat and I will ruined their relationship so I decided to next time we meet I will ask him is this right thing to do. Another incident I have this doctor I meet him 3 yrs ago and I used to go out with him but and one time I noticed him that his lied to me . He had two kids and married to the same profession and the funny thing was if I didn't see him in his commercial add in television I wouldn't notice that he was a married man and this doctor is very vocal that he adored my body and it's not a compliments for me to hear that especially his married and lied to me. Untill now his chasing me but it's been a year I never ever wanted to see him again . He always makes an effort to catch up with me and I always said to him that I am not intersted to him and if want the only thing that I cdn offer isy friendship but I do always ignore him when invited me for a coffee. But I he told me last time that he is not happy on his married and they still live on the same house but never talk much . There are times he will ring me and he was at home and I hated him when his doing that cos I felt that his just lying and eager to get me again in bed . This guys knows about the cancerian man that I am madly in love before and they hated this cancer man when I told them that his swearing and treatining me but I do love him so much . The young men 23 yo. Always giving me advice to stay away and forget him but I always told him his till have space with me though he hated me . Since then I didn't hear anything to him and he told ne that I am an idiot if I allow him to come back again and if that happening again he told me that give him a lesson same with this doctor. CWB,I admit that sometimes I do missed him and I will admit that I still pleasing him sometimes I'm confused to him till we have a big fight and I was told that he hated me and he wants me to kill if he saw me . Someone sending my pictures and video on me with my ex that he can really compare that his to far from them and I don't really know who's doing that I was told by him that I'm an idiot doesn't know how to speak English ,that he was not lucky like me that I can travel while him he needs to work hard to pay off his death . He hated me when I talk about my family and money matters , I'm fat , ugly, bitch , dirty slut ,mole , monkey and full of f words. Opposite everything I'm size 8 and got at nice figure , I can speak for language and can do more if I study or take a lesson. He told me to please give him some time and need some peace of mine cos before I used to sen him lots of message cos he never get back on me and worried if I didn't saw him . And I was told that his sick of thousand of my message and miss call that he never get back and when I explain to him he will only said to me that his Okey he told me that he doesn't want relationship and now I was told that he was happy now and find someone makes him happy and I Es told to please stop sending message and delete his number . cos I mean nothing to him or what si ever. I was hurt and I said to him that I do like and care about him and atleast I can keep him as a friend but I finally realized that I don't need him or someone Luke him that I am no means to him and I always look everyone on their higher souls but he always judging me and pushing me down and if he has a lil bit respect I want him to deletes my pics, video, and audio and I don't want to hear anything from him cos I can live my life without him . Far out I feel like how I wish he see me now that I can get more than ten guys better than him . I now realized his insecurity for me . And he knows my weakness and used it against me so I told him his comments means nothing to me and I congrats him and thank him to realized that your words makes me feel happy cos he show and telling me that I am lucky to have all of this and you are nothing cos you messed up your previous relationship and he knows that no matter what my family us always on my side . I was told that I don't have a good job . I told him sorry may be I don't need to
Let you know that I have much more than that he has . Oh life what crazy cancer ma makes me felt. Good and mix emotion but I honestly felt that it's just words that his having girlfriend and he was happy and at peace now si he asking me to please stop contacting him and sending him message . He just insecure and get jealous on me. Do I sounds funny here or down right but I cam feel that his lied so much and when I hear his voice I can tell that his words is against of what his doing . Sorry CWB so long my letter I was in a intense moment but I was nog happy in his attitude cos until now he can accept that his having a mistake and lied to me before oh dear . I need to deleted him in my life cos his a burden and mentally drain always raining my parade lol
Hon, all in all all this sums up to a core issue. That core issue is, who have NO clues as to WHOM u ARE as a person n as a woman. U DEPEND on men to balance u out, to give u that kick of "love" that will keep u going till u need a new shot, wether its an unavailable married man, a possibly young man who has other interests, n a guy who just needs some time.
All this i get the feeling, u dunno how to b happy as u on ur own. Now If u aint, how can u excpect it with someone else?
In my experience the right man shows when u as u are happy n content alone on ur own. When u dont need a guy to b happy n feel loved.
Right now ur actions equals to that of an addict. Just another bottle, just another shot, just another lay. its selfsabotaging.
You need to stop giving the married man ur head soul n body. I say this bc it sounds like " Well the one i truely love is a slow butt snail n this married guy gives good lays so why not,. at least he loves my biody"
The young kid spikes ur mental competitive love. the games u play with him he plays with u, its become a competition. Is that healthy? I say not as again it shows u as u aint whole. U´ve become reliable dependant on others to care to ur needs.
I do see a possible chance with cancer man, but ur actions of late ...................... i think he may have sensed it, n he i feel has bveen burnt so he may tread carefully as not to b caught in ur web of selfdeception n competition.
cancers as water sign r intuitive n is said to b clairvoyant or even psychic. in my experience they seem n know often more than what goes on in our lives n inside us than we think n experience.
saying this i bet u have another clue as to why he seems so ..............how do i put it .....distant, undesided, reluctant, hesistant, occupied, busy, silent n what else.
again it can mean he was burnt in past n needs time to return to lifes offers, it can mean workload has become massive, but it can also mean he aint too keen to b part of ur competition. Sensing u now i sense he prefer u work on becoming happy on or own without relying on anyone else but u. again im pointed out, if u no happy on ur own, what makes u think u will b happy once i turn on ur scene? whats stopping u from playing me like those guys? the whole on n off competition?
I feel its like he awaits ur change, ur matureing or something.
its as he aint gonna show until he feels sees sense u r content on ur own by urself without the games n competitions. he doesnt wanna b burnt or used again.
I hiope this helps n gives u some direction. I know u want cancer man but to make it happen u has to change ur ways. not for him as such but more for ur own sake. as u stated uve done things that aint so good. Somewhere u knew this advice would come.
Im glad u saught me out. I DO SINCERELY hope i helped n guided u.
best of luck i know u can do it.
Thanks CWB but a lot if times that he lied to me and he never once explain to me why all he wants me to do was tj sealed my lips and when he will visit me all he wanted was to be relax and enjoy our time. When I started to go out with him he told me if I still going out with someone I said to him I used to but not anymore and if I go out with someone I will take my time to only one cos if I go out with you I can easily tell that I'm in to him. There are times his suddenly disappear and telling me that were going to fast and he don't think that he can give me what I am expecting to him cos his not ready for commitments.Then come back and telling me let's see how we go till I fall and his not the one I used to be with. I was surprised last year september when he asking me his going overseas for a month and I can contact him cos he will not bring his mobile and asking me what do I have do to while he was away I said I'm just her waiting for him. All of a sudden I found out that he visited his exgf but it's not exgf still his on a relationship with her. After a were came back instead of staying one month. I confronted him over the phone and telling him that I dont want to see him again but he insist to talk to me personally and clean the air . I agree and he made me believes that the girl can't let him go. I give him a chance though I know to myself that he lied to me and I will wait for the rigth timing to caught him in the act. After several weeks o told him that I'm going to travel and it's was okey on him . Then I opened up that I will only travel if I have save extra money for myself and I said to him that I don't understand him why he can travel and hr keep complaining that he has a lot of responsibility cos his exes cost him so much. The one he visited I know for a fact that she really cost him much cost she was overseas student and can't work properly it's only 20hrs a week to think that the cost of living here was expensive and tuition fee was expensive and this country was on the top five expensive to live. He said to that work sending me there so he decided to catch up with her and on my mind how come she hacked his account meaning they spend time together and the girl read my email that time she knew that his cancer man is not faithful and cancer man telling me that the girl can't accept that . Oh dear He only answer me why I want to hear from him. I offer him help to pay off his debt cos I was worried on him and i felt bad everytime I see him and thinking about it but he refused me and telling that is not what he wants on me . I do admit that I put pressure on him cos all I want is his honesty and I always had doubt on him cos he lied to me on the beggining. Till we keep arguing and he abusing me by swearing and some nasty words . He knew that some of the guys had an eye to me and I always told him that i am not interested to them. I meet him when I'm having problem with friends and a turn my back with my friends cos I have enough and he knew that for almost 3 month my world was work and home and him. June 22 his birthday and that day I bum my friend and started to plan to have some talk cos I ignore them and I like to be on my own plus I met thud cancer man and that's enough for me. But things change to us I felt that he was worried and it happen . There are times he needs to pick me up but aty friends place and suddenly sending me messages that he can't pick me up on time and I will tell him it's okey I'm still waiting for him . I was mad when I tried to ring him and asking him if his meeting was finished and I will find ouf that his on the wag home and telling me to stay with my friends cis he was tired OMG! I don't understand him before he wanted me to go out. And if some times the doctor chasing me I will telling him he will do nothing and telling me you sort that with him. He knew my weakness and when we had fight he used if against me and I hated that and some of his words are over the line and totally not true .And I will bring he shit on him and when I'm done he will telling me that we need to separate ways cos I will never stop talk shit on him. And I'm the one begging and pleasing him. And I realized lately that his always having comparison that his not like me that I can travel any time , I don't have proper job and i will fight back that I'm sorry I'm blessed that I have enough for myself . I don't know how to speak english , slut , bitch , everything . He said to me that he hated me talking about my family which I'm close and talk about money, I actuallly pointed my finger to him and blaming him cos someone hooked up my back account and the bank trace that some in his exgf country you using my credit card and stole some Money and he was totally mad and I was told that he will never ever talk with his exgf and she will not doing that to
me . We have a lot of misunderstand that usually he was the one having problem his so manipulative . He will get a lot of info on me and when we have fight use it to me. I dunno with him I tried to win him back he said he was happy to be alone and do his things on his own . Then after that he told me that he found someone and he was happy and please give him peace . I was surprised to him cos that is not easy for him as I know it takes awhile before he trust someone. I have a feeling that he only want me to leave him alone . But I answer him back that I cam live my life without him after his treatining me and swearing me ci said to him that if he had a lil respect delete my pics , video , audio and never messages me back and he was deleted in to my life . CWB I honestly tired of some games and I didn't intend to get involve with the married man that's why I never give him a chance I can only offer friendship but I'd rather not it might cos trouble for me . And the young man I will find away to stop this cos this is not me I'm just trying to myself and testing if I can separate my emotion to my feelings. Let's see how I can make the most ouf of it af the moment my feelings with him was confusing and if kind the mentally drain sinus rather let him go and if he comes but may be his mine . Thanks a lot my dear yeah you give md a good idea and if help me to find myself when i was lost in the dark. Big Big Hugs and Kisses
Best bet is 4 u to withdraw from men altogether until u have sorted u as u out. It gets murky muddy if u keep this weird competition on. it can be said, time to clean u n ur act up.
CWB, I really appreciate your time and effort to me . This is not me I know what I'm doing is totally down right and against my principle. I really felt bad cos this cancer man makes me feel bad and I am no means to him and whatsoever. I was totally affected of his words and I'm hopeless and when he found my past dates and my ex his getting down right and Ill try my best to tell him that I care and like him he wants me to leave him at peace cos he is now happy with someone now. And I was stupid to believe he wants to be alone and now for me to stop loving him cos someone makes him happy now. I get what you mean I really need to focus on myself and pick up all the pieces of me I am totally broken. And I don't want my everything get affected before it's too late . I am doing well lately but this guy fulling me down every time . I just wanna stop loving him cos it hurt me badly. He had no respect to me and never trusted me ever since we go out and for him to treat me like that was so unfair . I'm so tired of being hurt and used by someone who really matters to me. I guess his right that I am no means no good for him. I just realized that from the start I am the one doing the effort after I knew that his lied to me. All my life no one treated me the way he treated me . But I have to move and rebuilt myself his confusing me. One of his friend tell me that he have had a girlfriend for one month and he has moved on and that time. We still intouch but it wouldn't work out cos it's always his time and I have to fit myself in his time . And if you can see the situation it seems unfair for me always like that I have no rights to ask why and what's going on can we talk about it what he wants is to sealed my lips. I have no voice to him. He hated me so much for all the things that I never intend to do if his giving me a chance how I love him and his the only man that in my life . How fair is that to me. I was told that I have a lot of issues cos he never let me talk to him. I wish I can move on to him I am so down and getting bad. I don't want this and I am hurting myself so much I can't barely handle this I didn't even realized that's it's been 7 months that we have this problem and I have mo idea cos I feel like things will work out to us but no it won't happen we have both strong personality and we can hurt each other if I will keep him.
Hin i think he has jumped the button. like he teaches u ur own medicine. again i get he doenst wanna b treated as ur ex´s but somehow he punishes u.
cancer men can b charmers n yet they r still men.
I still think 4 ur own self n proudness heal urself. lick ur wounds, mourn n refind the one u wanna b inside n out. take from cancer man what is good n flush the rest.
from thuis last post it shows he also has some growing up to do. how old is he anyhews? n u?
CWB , his turning 32 yo .this coming June and I am 36yo. I guess it's my fault I push myself to much on him just to please him. I always told him if you want to know everything about me that okey and I have nothing to hide . He was totally different after he realized that things are so fast for us. He always telling me that he might not to give me what I am expecting to him. After telling me I'm not the one and he only seeing me as friends then come back and telling me let's see how we go. His just after for some cosy time sometime and let's see and I agree with him for I am into him and to prolonged his present and hoping that I have no bad intention. There are times that I can feel his still in touch with the girlfriend overseas which he called ex but I always strange feeling that his trying to work this out.I noticed early in the morning his still awake . And for him to tell me used skype much cheaper cos he was aware of my mum always calling me .Last year I was told by him that I ruined his life and his everything for I knew they already fell apart. But I always on his side and he knew that I have all the time when he needed me . His not on my FB but he had idea who I am for someone sending my pictures but I was open to him. I should stop early CWB. He will not accept to be my ex cos I was told that I need to stick on my mind that it just sex for him and he used to be a good person and now his a cock . And if I still sending him message meaning I want him for me to get laid. Full of dirty words and treats and if he will see me out side he will smash me. I was willing to talk to him personally to tell him his getting on wrong way. And I will not allow myself to see him again if he wouldn't change. After all the abused and heart ache I told him yesterday that I do need him or a person like him in my life and I can leave my life without him. And I said to him pls no messages after this and all I want him to do is to delete my everything.if he still have a little respect to me. His the terrible person that I ever known in this world even our moment in bed he can use it against me.And his having attitude to ingestigate and use it against me . His like a kid. I told him can you please say those words in my face and I love to hear that in you personally . He will answering me back that he was afraid that he might bash me or kick me. But I know that he can't do that and I told him he was just scared to face the truth and the reality cos the truth will hurt him but there's nothing wrong with that and its a learning experience to us. He will mad and telling me f words and hated me so much
CWB , I am so tired of pleasing him I put my all I always give him away I always fooling myself to make myself believe that he likes me and things will be alright . Another one my mates asking me to please introduce him to them cos they had no idea who he was and when I ask him suddenly disappear and when he came back he told me that he wants his privacy and I respected that . One time he pick me up at friends place and I am asking him a favor if he can buy me something to eat and he said if I want to have dinner outside before he will drop me at my place I refused him. I know he wants his privacy. And when we walk together I will let him walk and I am at his back cos I dont want someone seeing him with me for his freaking privacy concern. And he will bring this things out that he doesn't know what to do with me I only give him what he wants far out . I hated myself for l loving him his anassddddjjooe a dog ...
well they r charmers. ill repeat n i dunno if i told u this but teh size of a mans balls equals the size of his scoundrellness. so if ya cancer got biog ones ............... then he is a big scoundrel.
read it somewhere dunnio exact which but it makes sense.
Yeah, I got what you mean, I shouldn't go further on this and he was giving me a warning for that so many times bit I was so blinded with me feelings. I thought he was the one. I am touch when the
we share things about our family and we have the same interest.I have a feeling since then his only after with my body.I don't need him or a person like him in my life . God knows how I was mentally and emotional abused by him. And I don't owe any single cents to him for him to treat me this way.. I will not allow myself to be in this situation again I will lift everything in to God ..
the think is if u ARE the hare in the race forhis heart n NOT the tortoise u will loose. Its the i want u in whatever form possible n i dont give a dang what form as long as i win.
So u initially set the scene urself by disregarding his modest atempt to slow u down. In end he just took what u gave, any young man his age would have.
i too did the hare over tortoise with both my guys. i lost both. but by changing me for me i changed their views on me also. I became the tortoise.
Inmy experience with cancer men do they for most part prefer the slow pace, the slow race n not the barrell over everything n anyone just for the win.
Say u continue so n u actually won, then what? is that ever enough? i doubt it. No the tortoise is more fullfilling learning n rewards keeps the faith n hope afloat.
You need to change from HARE to TORTOISE. not for the cancer ex but for ur own self. once u have done it n is happy as u with u alone solitary .................... showing ya is content on ur own n u can handle being single THATS useally when men the good one takes notice on u.
you see men aint into u if ya fast n show ya on with the worst so to say, the good ones tend to shy n take a wide berth,. its like they have a beacon 4 ugh thats abad highmaintance never satisfied woman ..............ahm bye n off they run.
I also rushed n one day i asked myself, why the hell do i rush? what am i rushing toward? im still young whats my effing rush?
u need to ask urself this also bc there is a reason.
im not sure was mine was but properly that all my peers n friends imade over the years found the one married n had kids, not in that order always but it happened. i followed their advice n yet here i am single but i have 3 great awesome guy friends of whom i pray one day that one of the 2 at least may wanna take it to the next level with me. however i aint banking onit.
for the last few years ive worked on me. ive skipped my moms say "when i was ur age i was married had a steady job n 3 kids" well that was HER generation. not mine. that was HER choise, her n dads. it aint mine. i look at my siblins, my bro n his wife think to much over things that oughta just b done without considering for long, 8 years on a bathroom make over, a whole weekend b4 my youngest nephew was relieved of his sea sickness n so on. my sis married after being engaged n living with a guy, they had 2 girls n when they were like 8 or so it all fell to H. seperated, accusations flew, sis almost bankrupt bc of his demands, now they r back together. all bc they in my book, felt rushed to do what all else does. now who is to say we hafta do what our peers n family has done? where is it written when we reach a certain age we hafta become sheep, doing everything alike?
i remark on this bc i suspect ur rushing is bc ur peers or family has always done things in a certain way in a certain time frame. i mark yeah so? thats was THEN this is NOW. i AINT u n u AINT me so BUTT off. u knwo what i mean?
besides its said the older ya is when ya get kids the better a parent ya is. well time will show.
anyhews please find out bc once u do it will b easier to change from hare to tortoise.
CWB, I will never ever go back from where I am before , I will love myself and pampered myself, I will treat myself for what I deserve . This is not what I deserved , I am a good person and I have no heart to hurt someone feelings , I am a give not a take I been to a lot but for this experienced of mine made a mark on me. CWB, I am suffering now on nervous break down there are times I sleep at night and I can hear his voice swearing and telling me that he will kill me. I will stand up in my bed and check my windows , door and have a look out side if I was safe . I now spending time with my Bestfriend and have shared this two relief some stress of mine. I have no one to tell for I was really worried that my family worried on my health. But i know I am stronger person and can make it
when n if u hear anything like that n ure up say "No u cannot ever kill whioever u are now scatter back to the darkness hence u came i send the light u u n ur cohorts stay away in the light n be at peace," or find a line that fits u.
light a white candle b4 u sleep, say a protection prayer 3 times blow the light our n let the smoke carry the message up, n b4 u clsoe ur eyes call 4 defenders n protection of angles n arch angels .
this ive done n it has helped, takes some nights but it works.
best iof luck
Thanks so much CWB, I will do that tonight. I do want this I'm getting paranoid now and I dont answer private number.I know so how he will not doing that to me but it's not a normal things to say. I have sleep last night and I know it will affects my health . I feel like I create my own demons and I have to fight for it . I can't stay longer in the dark I can't breath and getting suppocated and nearly killing myself. I will ask my angels to take me out of the dark . Kisses &blessing .