Heart broken and finding it very very difficult to move on!

  • hi guys, iv been through a bad time quite recently so thought i would share my thoughts with you and get your opinions.

    in december 2008 i met this really amazing guy on myspace..we hit it off in the very 1st conversation, he wos someone i could talk to about anything and everything. we exchanged msn adds and continued talkin, then he gave me his number and we would talk for hours and hours everyday..then 2weeks later he asked me if we could meet up, i wos abit hesitant at first and told him i dont just link up guys just for abit of fun, it has to go somewere and said he understands and he playing me around so we met up on the 27 december. we connected so well it wos unbelievable..we talked and talked about everything, i had never been like this with anyone..time went by really fast and we both went home after. we continues talkin and on january 12 2009 he asked me out and i said yes...then on valentines we linked up and had a great time..this guy wos amazing, so sweet and loving..then few days later we had a small arguement but made up the next morning..then we had about 3/4 more arguement but always made up in a day..we even linked up on his bday on april 14 and i got him a ID bracelet and a card in which i told him even though we argue on small things i always love him..then we linked up on 25 april and had a great time...the next day in the evening we had a small misuderstanding and he told me to got to hell and cut the fone off. the next day he dint ring or text me but did text my m8 and told her what happned and it seemed like it will be ok....later on i text him sayin why he dint ring me after he finished work..somehow it turned into an arguement and he just started having a go at me..then all of a sudden he txt sayin UR DUMPED! i just couldnt believe it..from then on he just dint want 2talk 2me at all..i apologised a million times..he dint answer my calls..dint ring me and told me 2fuk off and he dint wana kno what i had 2say..i tried for 2weeks just tellin him how much i loved him and not to let these small fings get in the way..i even begged him for a last chance but he dint wana know at all.

    now i really dont know what to do..this guy told me he luved me and how he would do anything to make this work..we talked about marriage and he said he will make it work..he promised he would never leave me and now he doesnt even want 2talk 2me.

  • To be honest with you, if you are arguing like that during the first year of a relationship...what is known as the "honeymoon period"....regardless of how trivial, it doesn't bode well as a basis for a long term relationship. I know you're hurting but maybe this is for the best - you will meet somebody who you can talk to, & love & will be with you to date on a regular basis & someone who will make you feel so happy that you won't have any real need to argue....yes, every relationship argues at some point & it is healthy but not as many as you've had in so short a time! Please dry your tears, go out with friends and socialise and try and forget this man....there'll be someone more suitable for you just around the corner!

  • You see how cruel he can be to you now, what you see is what you get. It seems to me Men will go out with you every moment to create this fake relationship, only to drop you when it is convenient for them.

    He's not worth you and you know it, but you are hurt. Let the healing begin, get into making you feel better, and let him go on to reap his just deserts.

  • Yes i know what you are trying to say..but it just seems really childsish and immature to end a relationship just because you had a small misunderstanding..i even explained to him what happened that night and what i wos trying to say to him but he just dint wnat to know. all that time i undertood that it was his anger but when he called me cheap, sick, insecure and desperate and dragged in a mate who i liked in the past it made me think no this is just his excuse. but even then i still made another effort to save the relationship by sendind a text sayin we love each other so much so why do these petty and small thnigs even matter..his reply was in short words: fuck off and stay the fuck away from me!!!

    btw hes an aries! but now i have seriously allowed him..every effort i made for him..big or small he has thrown it bakc in my face by saying "oh youve done alot init"

  • You both sound really immature. Please don't give this man anymore ammunition to throw at you - stop texting him and don't give him anymore of your time. Go out & socialise - I'm sure you had hobbies or interests or pasttimes that you enjoyed before you met him. It doesn't really matter what the excuse is for him to end the relationship - the small misunderstanding may not have anything to do with it - he may simply want to finish the relationship. Keep your pride, honour his wishes .....pursuing this relationship any further won't do you any good and you're worth a lot more. I know it hurts. Love isn't plain sailing and there will be knockbacks....but look to the future and learn from the past. Best wishes.

  • Hi, i don't know why you even give this person / man / boy the time of day.

    Not only that, you say you talked of marriage yet only known each other a matter of a few months. You say you told him that a relationship has to go somewhere.

    I'm sorry but you first have to get to know someone properly before it can go anywhere, that's what the dating process is about. It would be perfect for two people to meet and fall in love and live happily ever after but this is the real world. Relationships need to be built.

    I agree he may seem like he's being unfair but there must be more to it than what appears right now. He's obviously not ready for serious commitment, he might feel you got too serious too soon and backed off. Going over and over it all won't make him come back, you have to give him the space he wants and move forward in your own life.

    I'm truly sorry if my words seem brutal but the other posts say much the same thing.

    Be good to yourself and learn to be a little more independent and next time you meet someone, try not to jump in at the deep end, build a friendship first. Try seeing the males as friends rather than potential husbands or boyfriends. One day someone will surprise you by wanting a steady relationship. You'll see, it will be fine.

    Verdana 🙂

  • you will be sad and you will grieve for a while and you will miss him.

    Do not call him, or text him any more.

    He has shown you his true colours and one day you will realize he isn't deserving of someone who cares for him as much as you do.

    Sometimes, we have to go thru these hurts, to recognize the good guys when they come into our lives. Wouldn't it be nice, if you met someone like him, but better?

    Sorry that you have been hurt, believe me I have been where you are at the moment, but I can guarantee that time does heal.

  • hey guys..ye i did tell him that i would like this relationship to go somewhere..i told him i dont do flings and one night stands..the funny thing is he even told me how he wos going to propose, something which i never asked for..he had told his mum,sister..cuzins and his cuzins wife about me..but i still dint get all happy over it because with guys you just never know..they change like the weather..i never pressured him into anything..he wos very happy being ina relationship which had a future.

    all his issue was i dont like these small arguements..they just piss me off..i understood that and dis everything i could not to argue..i even promised him that.. but now it just seems to me that he never cared bout me as much as i did....he just blamed it all on me. i have allowed him now..im not even upset specially after being called cheap and sick and told to fuck off..and i cant guarantee alot of things in life but i can guarantee that he will never find a gurl who will luved, respected, understood and cared for him and his small needs like i did..and im not being big headed bout this either..its a fact which he will realise very soon.

  • Hello,

    Honey, please try not to hurt, but this man is no good. When they call you ugly names like he did then it shows that they have bad underlying issues, drop him like he's hot! It's called self respect, don't settle girl!

  • Hi again.

    At least you recognize you did everything you could to make it work.

    But if you can't say the things you want or need to say then the relationship is one sided.

    Seems to me from what you tell us, he wants everything to be perfect his way.

    None of us actually like to argue or disagree but that's all part of getting to know each other and learning how to get past the little things which annoy us or our differences in life style to communicate as you both need to. Where one is giving all the time and receiving little in return, it isn't an equal partnership, and that goes for friendships too.

    When my heart was broken and hurting like hell, i learned how to heal it.

    My heart still gets broken in various ways, not just by being in love but by giving so much of myself, i leave myself open to heartbreak. I do the hurting for others too.

    Try this :-

    Sit quietly and play music if you want to but instrumental is better than songs with words for gaining peace.

    Imagine the sunlight shining down on you and entering your head, letting it flow through your whole being. When you are filled with light and relaxed, imagine you are holding your heart in the palms of your hands and raise it to the angels of mercy and healing.

    When your heart looks clean and fresh and cleansed of all hurt and pain, thank the angels and bring it back into your body.

    Let the sunlight flow out through your feet and into the fertile soil to ground yourself and to let your love grow and bloom. ( you are doing this for yourself and no-one else). 🙂

    Thank the sunlight for staying with you throughout your daily routines and smile in the knowledge you are truly loved because you can feel it.

    Be well and bless you,

    Verdana 🙂

  • hey guys..fank u for all the feedback..its helping alot to be honest. yeh yur right hes definatley got some serious issues...there wos no need to bring up past issues which had nothing to do with our situation..i wos nice to him even when he called me those nasty names..i never lost my temper...i tried my best till the very end..the worst thing is he dint even bother to answer my calls or ring me. he just shut me out of his life as if i never existed. wen i wos trying to explain things to him through txt msgs..he turned round and said "for fuck sakes grow up..wev only been together for 4month..its not like your gona die without me"..he blames me for letting it get to this stage somehow???

    i love the guy alot but im not gona be any ones doormat...its been a month since we broke up and he hasnt bothered to ring or txt me or anything..he has got my mates number but he hasnt even txt her or rang her either...i seriously just dont know whats going on in his head, he could atleast talk to me or make some effort..or am i stupid to think like this?

  • Hi, I would be glad it's over. This guy has anger issues from what you described. Don't let anyone talk to you this way. I don't understand why he pops the cork over little things. Something is getting on his nerves, he lied and deceived you or whatever ya'll fought about is not "little" to him. I see him as a potential danger in the future from what you're saying. Not everyone is quiet when someone is ridiculing them. And if small things bother him then look out. Learn the warning signs, red flags. There's plenty here.

  • Your not going to believe this but I recently went through the exact experience that you have been through. I met a Pisces online and after 4 days he wanted to meet, so I agreed for a few hours, this guy drove 300 miles to meet me, and we clicked so well that I felt I had known him my entire life. anyhow this was in jan 09, He would come visit every other weekend, call me daily told me he was in love after the third time he seen me , asked me to move in with him, and said he would always be there for me and wait as long as I needed him too. Well guess what? he went on vacation and I couldn't go because I didn't get my birthcertificate on time so he went with his friends for 4 days. When he got back He called me and told me he had a change of heart, and also cheated on me during that time. (he already had a replacement to go on this trip when I couldn't) I was in shock and could not beleive anyone could go from being so sincere to being such a fake,. This happened at the end of april. I am still working on getting over the stages of getting my heart traded for a piece of ***. But this shows you when they move in this fast they move out just as fast if not faster. I learned the hard way as did you, but know you are not alone and there are alot of snakes in the grass, just guard your heart before jumping in to something that looks to good to be true, because it usually is. Good luck to you.

  • Trust me he won't call or answer any of your texts, because if anyone does this to you he is not a sincere or caring person. As hard as it is, LET GO, he is not worth your time or effort, and what makes you think that even if you did get back together he wouldn't do the same or worse to you again. The person is TOXIC, put your hazmat suit on and stay away from fallout!

  • hi guys thanks again for all your feedback...yes he does have anger issues which he told me about..and i did everything i could not 2 upset him..looked after all his little needs...he told me so many times how valuable i wos to him but now it seems it wos all bullshit really..if he really cared he would have made some effort..one of my mates even said i might have been his 1st girlfriend from the way hes acting.

    we wernt together for long but when two people just click instantly and get along so well its special...iv done everything i could to not let it end but he just did not want 2 know anything..i know it sounds really stupid and dumb but i really love him alot and wish he would try talking to me. with him i could be myself..i did not have to pretend or by cautious of what he would think of me if i did something stupid..i just wish we would get back together again..but im not making the first move.

  • Hi Angel,

    you can't spend the rest of your life '' treading on egg-shells'' around someone for fear of upsetting them. In the end they will walk all over you.

    You deserve better than this treatment and think yourself lucky if he has anger issues, he might turn on you one day you inadvertently upset him.

    Sorry but i stick with my first instincts here, you are better off without someone of that calibre.

    Verdana 🙂

  • angel, i think he may have been lying to you when he acted like he was serious, and in love, and wanted a future together. he might have just been saying what you wanted to hear in order to get s.e.x. If you gave it up, he might be thinking your'e cheap now, and therefore deserving of such sickening behavior. The more you you get out and get involved with groups of people and hobbies, the easier it will be to get over him. He is scum, so do not give him the honor of grieving over him. Read "He's just not that into you" and see his ugly behavior for what it is, and don't make excuses for it.

  • Men on the internet are no good

  • I like that

  • Arbil,

    That is a very wide brush you are tarring me with. However I would agree that the internet, as far as dating is concerned, hides body language the part that constitutes 90 percent of all human conversations. There are other internet nasties hiding in chat rooms as well and males do seem to be the majority of them, I won't even use the word as it is disgusting.

    I have never used the internet for furthering relationships and my relationship with it is purely androgenous. However you could also say that as a pisces I am in touch with my feminine side as well. Like all forms of male/female interaction there are good and bad instances of all.

    Also a lot of people who use this site have problems else they would not use it. It is a great support network as you can air your thoughts without critisim and everyone want to help. However a lot of the stories resolve around problems so we don't get a balanced view.

    Love to you all from a male internet user x

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