• I have been in a relationship with the same man for a little over five years now. The first two were on again off again because I would have problems with my x boyfriend calling my home or cell, stalking me etc... and literally driving the person I truly was in love with... away. No matter what I did though, restraining orders... yelling..screaming... keeping no contact with the X .. I was always "penalized" if that is a choice of words for this imbicil making a problem for us. The guy I was in love with would basically leave me alone to "fight my own battles" with him. It wasn't unti just a few months ago that I found out at the time this was going on, the guy I was in love with saw his x girlfriend and at one time had a sexual affair with another woman. I guess that's really the reason he left me "alone" ...now that I know this. Anyway, about three years ago he lost his job due to major surgery and has been totally disabled. He's gained about 100 pounds over the past two years. In this time he's also proposed with 2 lovely engagement rings BUT the first one went back to the jewler (he kept comparing me to his x while we were on our engagement weekened...even during love making) and the second one he says" he never intends to give back. I believe the second engagement was only spurred because I left him due to his disinterest in me and our relationship...and I found a man who made me happy...BUT ...let the old "love" back in with the "i'll change" promise. I've been dealing with his sexual problems and lived with them too which is a problem in itself because now he says "he doesn't want to use the treatment the doctor gives him (testosterone gel fub) because it's harmful." He's become way too lazy...doesn't care when he sees me or if he pleases me.. never talks about a future... and sex??? I feel and I have told him ...he treats me like I'm his sister instead of a lover. He cuts me down and I'm intelligent. He calls me an "idiot, retard....moron.." for simple things. He acts like he cannot stand to be with me but says, ONLY when he doesn't have his kids for that week... " If I didn't want to be with you I wouldn't...." I know he's just coming around on his weeks when he doesn't have his kids because then he shuts down his house and comes to mine....saves on being lonely and on the bills. Does anyone else agree that I've been stupid in love for too long? I have I think.

  • I think you are posting to put your thoughts in writing...I think you already know this is unhealthy relationship...no person has the right to put you down. However, you must learn to respect yourself and STOP this cycle of pity.

    This man is obviously letting himself go...100lbs, not following treatment, lazy...come on! What kind of future do you have with this man.

    LEAVE, leave now, don't let him back into your life, don't worry about the additional "cost" of not having him, it will be worth every penny!!!!

  • evianna: you already know what to do. This guy knows you will take whatever he hands out to you. It's a controlling, abusive relationship. C'mon girl, wise up. He's not the only fish in the sea. I've been married 3 times. 15 yrs to the 1st, 13 to the 2nd and now going on 6 yrs with the current one. I've been thru what you're going thru. You need to get your self-esteem back and don't let the idiot back into your life! I raised 2 kids by myself, put myself thru College so I could better support myself & kids. It wasn't easy, but I refused to have a man in my life just for *** and let myself be used by them. The one I'm married to now is getting ready to see the door. He weighs over 300#. I keep trying to keep him on a healthy diet, but when I go to bed, he raids the kitchen. I don't need a man in my life to support me or to keep me company. I'm 65 sweetheart, have congestive heart failure, sleep apnea and in th 3rd stage of kidney failure. He never even consumated our marriage. I was willing to work thru that because of his health problems, but he' not doing anything to help it. I'm tired of bickering all the time about his eating habits, plus he showers like every 3 months. He can't perform, sleeps in his chair at night when we're supposed to be watching TV, then when I go to bed, he's wide awake! Go figure! He just wants someone around so he won't feel lonely. I'm not afraid of being on my own even with my health problems. Somehow, someway there's always a solution. He's also controlling but in a gentle sort of way. I've wasted my entire life on 3 men who took advantage of my heart. Well, now my head is working and as soon as I can find an apt within my budget, I'm out of here! If I can do it, so can you. And I won't look back or boohoo either. It will feel so good to cook what I want, when I want and not have to answer to anyone except to me.You can do it, you just don't have the courage. so either accept the situation, or dump him. Counseling doesn't work. Tried it, been there, done that. No help at all.

  • ok let go

  • hell soon coming crying back to 2u

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