Past life, past love...? Insight please

  • I have been seeing a man many years my junior for 6 months. I am in my 40's and he is 30. I have been navigating my way through feelings I've had about seeing a younger man as it is and the very deep connection I've felt. It is one of the most intense experiences I've had relationally and there has been something I haven't been able to put my finger on. We went on a trip together and I tried to end the relationship because I didn't see any long term potential and felt it better to do know, then suffer greater pain in separating later on. He talked me down off the ledge and we are continuing to see one another. The pain I felt at the thought of separating was almost unbearable. When briefly chatting about the dynamic with someone who regards themselves as a 'seer', I was told that they believed he and I have loved one another in past lives and that she thinks at one point, I may have died before him and there are unresolved issues and lessons to be learned by our being brought into one another's lives again. I would appreciate any insight anyone has to share. I am open to exploring this. I told him this last night and he said that he has no doubt this is most likely the case. I feel as though we have loved one another before as the connection is beyond explanation to my mortal mnd. Again, any insight or advice in how to navigate this is greatly appreciated.

    Thank you...

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  • You're welcome. (I only added the intuition part as an afterthought just in case there was something else holding you back.)


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  • JetCW,

    I have not researched much of anything on soul mate connections or specific differences.

    With regards to actual connections with people, I try not to specifically label either the connection or the person as I believe that puts limits on both.

    Yes, a soul mate may be a friend, a lover, a partner, a mentor or an actual family member or a life partner. But they may have had a different soul mate role in another lifetime. In addition, the connection with a soul mate may be for a limited amount of time this life as with a mentor who shares a deep connection while one is learning but has only a place in their heart after the apprenticeship is complete and they move on. The same may be true for a friend or a lover.

    As to the limiting nature of labels, it similar to when you place a label on your talkative friend as a “conversation hog.” You love her to death but she has this irritating habit of taking over every conversation so you pretty much ignore this little irritation. But once you have put this label to it, very rarely will you allow the impression to change even after the friend has changed. You will continue to see her in this light long after she learned her lesson and made strides to change it. The result is you do not notice the change. That may not sound so bad but here is the catch.

    When we place a label on something, we have in essence filed it away. Now whenever we come across it, the label pops up and we know where we stand and we think noting more about it. What we are actually doing is freeing our conscious mind of mundane things that we already know about in order to proceed with those things that deserve our attention and our awareness. It is a necessity with objects but when we do this with a person and or even a small aspect of a person, we are in essence stating they are not worthy of our undivided attention. This is how we miss those small changes in them and the nuances of their character growth. In the end, this is how we grow apart.

    So, with your friend the “conversation hog”, you do not notice that she has been changing her nature, and there are many other clues and changes you did not recognize and one day you get into a big fight. You think she has gone off the deep end and changed overnight and she accuses you of being self centered and taking your friendship for granted. You, on the other hand, can not for the life of you figure out why she thinks that.

    The truth is you were being self centered. And you did take your friendship for granted as though it needed no effort on your part. You failed to keep up with who you friend was on a moment by moment basis so that you could share in that growth or come to realize that the connection was moving in two different directions.

    Sometimes we grow apart regardless if our life paths carry us in different directions. But when we are fully present with each other when we are together, we know when these things are coming as we are always aware of those subtle nuances of change. You hear of those people who have had an amenable break up or divorce, it was because both were aware that their paths no longer were in sync. They can have the memory of their one time close connection and still honor that person in their heart as they both move on to different things.

    Trying to understand a connection is good but it must be with constant awareness and being present and open. Where trying to label it and make it fit a preselected pattern can lead to disengagement and taking the connection for granted.

    Just my thoughts. (Rest assured, I am not perfect and I have fallen into this rut I decribed myself. I don't like being labeled or labeling other people and yet occassionally I find myself doing just that. Hopefully I realize it before I end up in a fight. LOL)


  • The issue is not about age. Your fears are something deeper. Anyone who uses an unknown future doomed outlook to damper a in the now loving moment is choosing not to be loved. Are their other issues other than age? Do you feel guilty? I say if all is well---enjoy! No one has a guarentee for the future--you only have this moment. If it ain't broke don't fix it. I pick up there are some doubts in other areas that have nothing to do with age but the age thing is easier to focus on. Spirit says you have doubts about the intensity of the attraction---wether it is just for you or he is naturaly magnetic---a ladies man with a special touch---you do not want to feel foolish and go back and forth with your feelings---you open your heart wide and enjoy but then that kind of vulnerability scares you and you pull back. I agree he is a "shapeshifter"---a repeat from another life and this means there is possibility for growth as he motivates you to bring your issues to the light and you test him as well. These relationships can be a rollercoaster of pain and bliss but you usually come out wiser. BLESSINGS

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  • JetCW,

    I got so caught up inmy last post I entirely forgot to mention how amazing I found your previous post about your relationship.

    You wrote: "He and I are also working together for a greater good and have been on the same page and have shared the same vision and quite seriously want to change the world for better together. We do fundraising and jump in together when called upon by causes that benefit our brothers and sisters."

    That is the most wonderful thing to be able to share along with the rest of the relationship. Good for you too and I hope the two of you have a wonderful and fulfilling lives with a 3-fold return of all the good will blessings you dole out to others.

    Love and Light

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