How do cancer men test your feelings?
the other morning while me and this cancer guy were still in bed i received a phonecall from a guy friend saying that he was out with a friend and wanted to introduce me to him cause he was a nice and serious guy and so on.. I said no politely and after i hang up my boyfriend,( who wasn't officially a boyfriend yet since we had been casual friends for years and had just recently become more intimate without defining where things stood between us), said: " oh, there are so many men after you, you should find a nice guy to marry". I didn't respond to that, instead acted as if it was nothing cause he said that holding me and he kept wanting to cuddle in bed for some time before we got up.
Now the thing is that after that i didn't get the chance to hang out with him for a couple of days, during which time i didn't call him either partly because i had a guest friend visiting and more because i wasn't sure if he meant what he had said and it was his way to say that he wasn't interested in anything more than fwb.
when we did meet there were people around and he avoided us getting alone together even though he was the one who called me out. he acted as if there was nothing between us and he didn't seem sad about it either.
It's been several days now and i've tried to show him that i want more but he doesn't get it or he doesn't want to.
i never talked openly about it and i guess i should if i want to find out but the thing is now he acts uninterested and i'm not sure there's a poin in putting myself out there.
So, i'm asking you first because i have my doubts since i know that he looks for reassurance before he opens up but i'm also confused.
Do you think what he said was a side way to check out if i'm interested in others or a way to break it gently with me ?
You blew it. When he said so things before you got up he meant it n hoped u´d reply, so what, im with you or i wanna be with u n non else. When u refused to reply n u didnt call to get clear abouty it , he took as u dont wanna b with him anymore. Right now he tries to move on.
cancer men eff men in all want to know JUST as we women do, that we are the one n only. No matter what it may look say in a month from now.
Him saying that to u after lovemaking spending the night with you is for many cancer men as good as yes i wanna be with you,. Him being a tad insecure when a guy pal calls n say hey i got this guy perfect for u i wish u meet him, gets him insecure wether he is the one for u. When u dont reply.
try to place urself in his shoes n ask what he asked u feel what no response does to u. N there is ur reply.
so if he is ur the one then there is nothing to do but either write a letter explaining all from ur side apologizing, text to meet, call to meet. Sadly is weighs on u to correct the mess u made.
What puzzles me is this, u were with a great guy, many cancer men r great loving warm friendly n more, that u have a guy friend who plays hook up pimp for u. Calls u when he knows u´re with a great guy or on a date with him saying loud enough for ya cancer man to hear he has found a great guy u must meet.
I want u to try n set urself AGAIN in his shoes. And then turn the tables. what if he had gotten a call from a girl pal she had found him a georgous girl to date n he just had to come imidiately? how would that make u feel?
im sorry girl but unintentionally u wrecked a potential good thing n it will take a LOT of hard work to correct it. Which means u need to make choises. Hard choises.
I think n feel ur cancer guy feels u played him for a fool. thats effing tough to swallow n move on from,. be aware he may feel burnt by u,. If that is the case it will take a bloody long time before he can n will trust u again.
i know all this may seem unfair n u may ask why ought i do all this work, well of all watersigns is cancer men also the most stubborn hardheaded n vounerable ones. they may have a hard shell but inside they r exetremely sensitive mushy n softies.
i also wanna suggest u study up on the cancer man. much of how he behaves can be found in the astrology of his sign. best descriptions ive found are by linda goodman. google her sunsigns.
hope this helped i wish u best of luck,
CWB! You go girl!! I agree wholeheartedly with you,and Cancer men are worth the effort by far! No doubt they require lots and lots of patience, but they are well worth it in the end from my experience!
maybe i did blow it but i did give him the opportunity to come closer as well. i've suggested we away together but he didn't seem enthusiastic about it.
he knows i get jealous of this girl friend who's clearly after him although he's not interested, but other tha conforting me that there's nothing going on with them he doesn't take it as a sign that i want him( maybe delibarately).
furthemore there is this other girl he seems interested in and when she is around it's as if i don't exist. he wants to look free and available to her.
the thing is though that he gets sweet at times (though i've figures that's when he wants to sleep with me). Now, i've cut back on it and the last two time i spent at his place nothing intimate happened cause i didn't want to and he never pushes for it. But there was again this thing:
you see in his sleep he always says sweet things like "my girl" or "beuty" and stuff, and this time before falling asleep i asked him: " do you mean what you say in your sleep"? he asked
" what do i say" , i said "whatever you say" in which he didn't reply, but later while asleep he said
"my girl.." and when i went "mmm" to show that i'm listening, he said "i love you". Now he could be dreaming of someone else( bec. how can he love ME when awake he acts indifferent?), but this was the first time he said that and i can't help but think it was maybe intentional considering i had asked about his sleep talk earlier..
it's such things he does that string me along, or when he said "you're mine"(in bed always), but how patient can i be.
obviously he knows i want him so what's the point of me saying it out loud? and am i supposed to just sit around and act cool while he's flirting this other girl? or just walk away, so at least i don't get to see it happening in front of me??