Help? Please?

  • My Gemini man and I broke up a few months back. I accidentally ended up sending him an e-mail instead of one of my co-workers with the same name yesterday. my Gemini responded and we ended up exchanging a few e-mails back and forth yesterday. He eventually stopped responding in our back and forth emails, and I’m wondering what might have happened. Did he start thinking and back off? Should I just leave him be? is there still a spark between us? Could I please get some insight when possible? I don’t want to get into something again with him only to get hurt.

    I've told him before about how I feel and about how much he hurt me in our break up. I've told him that I can't just be strung along with some false hope either. he said he was sorry but he was just super uncertain about us. I just want to know what he might be thinking.

  • He feels sympathy for you but no love.

  • I remember the last reading I did was in re to him. If I remember correctly, it was full steam ahead as far as his career. My impression was that he wasn't ready for a full-blown relationship. Not good to look back. He holds the keys so to speak and he deserted this relationship. I think it'll only open up wounds for you. You had a lot of positive aspects, so how are you these days--

  • Captain - I was thinking that. He kept calling me "princess" and "dear" in his responses, but I felt nothing from him like he still wanted me or loved me. I just missed him I guess and was hoping for something different...:-/

    Daliolite - it did open up wounds. I got nowhere from our exchange of e-mails. from what the Captain said above, he has sympathy(which isn't really what I was looking for) but no love. which is sad, because he told me he still had feelings for me and loved me about a month back. surprises me how fast he could have moved on. whatever it is, I'm doing as well as I can. I miss him, but I'm trying to move on. things are going well as far as my career goes. I'm opening up my horizons to see if I can find a better opportunity for myself. I just got back from going out of town for a conference. I was dreading coming home because then I would start thinking about my Gemini guy again. it sucks that when I have nothing keeping my mind completely busy, I keep going backwards and thinking about the past. I've met a couple of new guys, but nothing exciting and no one has really captured my attention. I'm trying my best not to reject anyone, but it's really hard when my heart is still hurting.

  • You're hurt because you are taking this as a personal rejection, when really Gemini men - the ones who are immature - don't like anything more than a light-hearted affair and don't want to become serious. Instead of feeling down about it, be glad you weren't stuck with such a littleboy-like person and move on happily, certain that your experience will help you to sort the dross from the gold in partners from now on.

  • so why is it that i realize that I'm not supposed to take it as personal rejection but I can't get over it? I keep thinking back and blaming myself or thinking that it's my fault. I don't know how to get past the fact that I can and deserve better. I realize it, and then I'll go backwards. I dont know how to stop harping...

  • however, what you said makes sense. I am happy about the fact that I'm not stuck in a relationship that is completely immature where he doesnt want something serious. I want someone who wants to be with me long term. someone who I can have a future with.

  • hey Captain, one more request please if possible? I have a phone interview tomorrow. I'm a little nervous but I hope it goes well. I've been sending my resume out to open up opportunities for me for a better paying and more fast paced job. I feel like I've hit my ceiling with the position that I am in. how do you see my outlook as far as my career is concerned? thank you so much in advance!!

  • SV, you need to look back at your previous relationships and see why they didn't work out for you. Then you will know what you need to release in yourself in order to find a new better relationship.

    The phone interview will go well as long as you remain calm and don't get rattled. Just be honest and open and don't try to overly impress the interviewer.

  • thanks Captain. I know I need to do some reflecting and I can be pretty critical in relationships. sometimes I feel like when things start going down hill, I need to do everything in my power to save it and I guess that comes off as desperation.

    I hope this interview goes well. I'll try to keep cool. I know I have a lot of anxiety issues...

  • Do you know what the source of your anxiety is?

  • I'm not sure. I guess it would be of being accepted everywhere. but sometimes it comes from nowhere. like I'll be sitting at my desk at work and suddenly I'll feel anxious. I went to the doctor about it and she wanted to put me on anti-depression meds. I said no thanks, cause I've heard about the side effects of the meds. I dont know where it could stem from. I would talk to my ex Gem about it since he studied rehabilitation in school. he told me it was fear of some kind that probably stemmed from an early age. he told me he sort of had the same issue. that's why I felt so comfortable with him and talking to him about it because he knew how it felt.

    anyway, I never got my phone interview. this morning I went online and checked my e-mail and the recruiter had e-mailed me that the position had been taken. Do you see my career changing anytime soon or do you see me sticking with the same position for a while?

  • I think you were looking more for sympathy and understanding and healing in your former relationship (maybe the others too) than you were for love. Your ex was right that you probably got 'broke' at a young age - it would be helpful if you could identify what is at the bottom of your fear and anxiety. How did your parents and/or siblings and other relatives treat you and make you feel?

    I see things staying the same for you unless you make inner changes and lose your fears.

  • I think my love for him and "us" developed from his ability to understand me to the core and support me when I needed him the most. I agree that I liked the sympathy and understanding, but I would also talk to him about his fears and stuff. Unfortunately, he had a higher wall than even I did, which is very surprising since I had my guard up for months before I finally let it down, but then he broke up with...:-/

    I'm trying my best to get past my fears and make changes from the inside, but I feel like maybe I've hit a ceiling or a wall and I'm not sure where else I can go.

  • so I guess it looks like my Gem has moved on already. I saw that he's gotten into something new with someone else...I guess it was inevitable, but I was just hoping he would at least still think about me...

    My upbringing wasn't a bad one. my family loved me and my sister never really treated me too bad. obviously we would fight and bicker but nothing big. I'm not sure where the root of my fears and anxiety comes from really...I always have had it for as long as I could remember.

  • Your 'wall' was not wanting to believe the Gem had moved on. Now maybe you can move forward too.

  • Maybe I can...nut I'm still thinking about him. I met someone else and we've talked on the phone a few times but my heart isn't into it. it's still stuck on my past. I dont know how to get on with it...argh!

  • People only cling to an old relationship if they still have hopes of reviving it or are still wondering why it ended - if they did something wrong and may do it again next time with someone else. When you can honestly answer these questions, you will be able to move on.

  • yes, I guess I still have hopes of reviving it, and he never really gave me a straight answer as to why he didn't want to be together anymore. what threw me off the most is that he said he was breaking up with me, not because he didn't love me or have feelings for me, but because we didn't have enough in common.

    I know I need to reflect. I probably should take up yoga again or do some meditating.

    I really want to concentrate on my job and other opportunities instead, I know that when you dont think about finding love is when it comes along out of nowhere....

  • Captain - I have a major delimma. My Gemini text me this evening. I had sent him a nice small message last Saturday for his birthday. I literally said "heyy! happy birthday" just to be nice. he sent me a message back thanking me and I left it as that. He just text me tonight with a cute message asking me where his gift was. I replied "what do you want as a gift?" and he said "I wanted you to surprise me"....what does all of this mean?? I'm so confused!! please help when possible. I don't want to get into something I'm not supposed to, but I also am very happy he's trying to speak with me. Although I don't know if he's trying to feel me out to see where I stand or if he's just trying to play mind games. I'm very apprehensive about this...I don't want to put my heart on the line only to be used...

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