Damaged Cancer man? Please help



  • firstly, i'm in my mid 20s and haven't had a serious boyfriend before.

    i met a cancer man online a little over 2 months ago and we've been "hanging out" at least once or twice each week since meeting. long story short, i wanted to see how we were progressing so i had the "talk" with him and i told him to be completely honest with me (yes i know it was a bad idea but i needed to know!)... he tells me that he doesn't know exactly how he feels, but he knows he likes me as a friend. he thinks i'm pretty chill and he likes me (romantically too i guess?), BUT he doesn't want to be my first boyfriend. i ask him to clarify and he says that he's afraid of my expectations. i try to reassure him that i'm low maintenance, but then he goes on to talk about how he's been cheated on twice so far. his first girlfriend and his most recent girlfriend both cheated on him.

    is he badly damaged? is there any hope for me? i still like him and i wouldnt mind casually dating him as i'm still not quite comfortable with him yet. i'm pretty cautious when it comes to these things too... what can i do? any help would be greatly appreciated!



  • Hmm.. Is he damaged? No he isn't. He is however telling you that he will not commit or is unable to commit or give you something more concrete. So I would take that into serious consideration.

    What you can do, is take it slow emotionally and physically until you see where this is heading. It is the only logical thing to do really. Walk before you can run sorta thing... I see red flags here on both his part and yours, so try not to get intimate with him until you know what he is willing to offer.Otherwise it will turn into a " I don't know what kind of relationship this is saga"

    From what you say I feel he isn't willing to offer much as far as commitment at the moment but this could be because it's early days yet also. The trick is, if he feels he wants to be just friends, than he will have no issue with having a platonic relationship with you, right? Take it slow. That is my advice.



  • thanks for the advice. i sent him an email about it and hopefully he is man enough to get back to me rather than disappear...


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