Does this cancer guy like me??? Does he care??


    long story trying to get it short.....there was..and maybe still is this guy, we started talking august of last year. (my friend hooked us up) so until early November we had just been talking on the phone. we would be on the phone until like 4-5 in the morning and we would talk about everything and anything. we both told each other we had feelings for one another.

    the day we met for the 1st time: the day we met he had someone drive him over to where i was at and once he got out of the car he was all smiles, he came over gave me a hug and we started walking together. the whole time he had his arm around me, gave me his jacket and told me i had pretty eyes. we were together a little more that day then he left gave me another hug and watched me walk back to the house smiling at me the whole time.

    from that day things were different...his grandma died..after then we stopped talking like we used to so i got concerned and asked him what it was and if it was because i wasnt what he expected, he said no it wasnt that and he thought i was questioning the fact that HE wasnt what i expected. so basically, a misunderstanding.

    i really dont know what it was but we stopped talking and didnt hear anything from him, nor from me and in february this year my cousin saw him and she told me he asked about me wanting to know how i was and why i had stopped talking to him, when all along i thought he stopped talking to ME. so a couple weekends later i saw him at this game i went too, he was smiling really hard, gave me a hug and said it's good to see you..he had to leave so he told me he would text me...time went by..he didnt.

    so i was getting concerned and i texted him the next week and ask him what happened and he texted me saying sorry and his grandma's funeral was that day and he didnt feel like texting ( i checked...she really did die, so that means both of his grandma;s died) so i left him alone and gave him time to be with himself.

    soooo more time went by and around 3rd week in march i hear some things he said. ( my mom knows his dad, they went to school together) so she tells me that his dad says that he talks about me alot, thinks im pretty, and he wants to get to know me better. another thing was that he is hesitant to ask me out be cause he doesnt know what he wants to do with his future and he may be going to the military.

    the other day i just decided to be direct w. him and see what was up heres how the conversation went

    me-hey hope your doing well u kno i like u n i dont want to waste your time or mine I wanted to see what was up with us

    him- hey i dnt think we can be serious right now because if im far away we cant do anything together

    me- ok well you have my number.

    him- yea its just i know other guys can be around and im not saying i dnt trust you its just anything can happen

    me- i understand what your saying but if we were together i wouldnt do anything like that to you just because other guys are around doesnt mean anything

    and no im confused..i think he likes me but....????? PLEASE HELP ME!!!! WHATS GOING ON????

  • He may like you but he doesn't trust you. And he is afraid of being betrayed, maybe from past experience. You will never be able to have a long distance relationship because he could never be sure of your faithfulness, no matter how much you tried to reassure him. He is insecure and hugely self-protective - that sort of person can take years to trust you, if ever completely. If you were together, he would watch you like a hawk. Do you think you can cope with this sort of emotionally unstable person? Only you can tell for sure.

    If you do want to be with him, you will have to get both physically and emotionally close because his protective barriers are set way high.

  • so you really think he has genuine feelings for me??....i was soo confused...i want to be with him but i know it will take time...both of us being a july 22 cancer

  • Two Cancerians means double self-protectiveness and over-sensitivity. You are both being overly cautious about getting into a relationship - which could mean neither of you does anything about it.

  • what needs to happen so we can get over these you think he really has genuine feelings for me and cares??

  • He likes you but it's not anything more than that yet because he doesn't know you well enough. There's not much you can do until his situation resolves itself and he decides about the military. You are too far away to have a real relationship. Correspondance is not a relationship.

  • so previously you said he was insecure....are we not talking currently because of that....did he climb back in his shell because of fear of rejection...or does he just not want to talk to me until he's sure what he's going to do....i haven't reached out to talk to him either..

  • You both fear rejection or humiliation and you both need to overcome this tendency that holds you back in relationships. He also doesn't see the point in beginning something with you until his plans for his life settle down.

  • do you think he would pursue things with me if the situation were different? or he would be the type of person to have to spend a lot of time with to be sure i wouldnt do anything to betray him. and do you think the whole watching me like a hawk thing would still come into effect if physical contact was involved?

  • He would probably never trust you completely unless he works through his issues. He thinks he is justified to feel that way. If you were physically together, he would mistrust you during the times you were apart.

  • In my book are cancer men cautious men. They prefer the slow approach the on off to see if you´re strong n patient enough for the long haul. living with an watersign aint easy.

    Overall is my impression of you that you race ahead with not much concern for what he wishes, wants n needs. you´re too hurried too fast to hell bent on your way.

    I get you take his breath away as in gosh golly she races n as i try to keep up im running out of air. so he keeps u sorta hanging. not bc u aint a great gal likeable lovely n all, BUT bc of the speed u progress with n push at leaves him baffled. he second guesses and is genuine confused. So as not to hurt u he is vague in his replies.

    Even when he replies u barrel over him and again i get he has that breathless feeling, confined cornered trapped feeling.

    if you wanna win him you need to keep in mind there is no race. as an analogy ill ask you if you know the story of the Race between the Hare and the Tortoise. I am asking you, do you know who won? why did the hare loose?

    Last which of those 2 are you? sadly in my eyes you´re the hare. so the choise is, continue being the hare and loose him altogether or transform into the tortoise and win.

    If this needs more clarification please ask n ill provide.


  • does it sound like he actually has feelings foe me?

  • and when you say he is vague in his answers as not to hurt me....what do you mean?? like saying he doesnt want to be with me??

  • overall do you think what he says is genuine( i.e having feelings for me...etc) or does he say it just to get me off his back??

  • he has feelings for u, but the way u rush things he csnt keep up. he feels trapped by u, cornedred to respond in ways he cant stand behind all not to hurt or displease u., he prefers a slow pace as in allowing what is there to grow as it ought to n not rushed. rushed never stands test of time. im reminded he feels its like a life of a oneday fly. cramming all life into one day. that stresses n terrifys him. if u want tghis man for a long time u need to b patient n slow down. at this rate here u do stand to loose him.

    u might also wanna ask urself hiow would u feel if u put the moves u have on him at urself. feel think analyse what it does to u in all areas. if u for one instant get an ick ngosh golly whoa break on slow the eff down then u have ur reply on how it is for him also,.

    i know u love him n u do ur best but often is setting the pace after the guy the best way to win him fully. racing never did.


  • Sam012, my feeling is that you are more worried about whether anyone could love you, rather than just this guy? You seem to be rather deeply concerned over someone you don't know all that well or who is not even close to you - emotionally and physically. Is this really just a concern about your own attractiveness and lovability?

  • lol. no this isn't about me. the whole point in posting this question was to figure out whats going on in his head because i wasnt sure about anything concerning him, and i still am not....i guess the only thing i can do now is give it time to unfold. but to answer your question, no i don't question my lovability and attractiveness. just concerned about the situation is all.

  • Then why are you so anxious?

  • Well asked captain, i second that question!


  • obviously i care something for him, is that not a reason......

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