NEED YOUR ADVICE CAPTAIN



  • Hi Captain

    I have this on another post but I feel I need some guidance from you as well

    I fell in love with a friend who didnt see me the same way. When I told him i loved him he said that we should not communicate until I fell out of love with him.

    I know unreservedly that what i did was wrong. I have no excuse for what i did. I went on the dating site where I had first met him and pretended to be someone else. I contacted him and we starterd communicating via email. We didnt flirt, we just shared stuff about each others thoughts and life experiences. We connected as never before

    I backed out when he asked to meet. About a year later when I got back on the dating site myself he contacted me. He told me that he had had a dream about me and wondered if we could get back in touch. I told him I still loved him and didnt think that it was such a good idea

    We fell into a relationship but it was not one of love. He treated me with thinly disguised contempt. He shared my living space and we were intimate twice and something in me felt i had deserved it because of what I had done. I didnt have the courage or the confidence to tell him the truth

    This is a man who has many issues in his life and I have added to it. He recently came back into my life and the mental cruelty has escalated. Today he sent me an sms saying that he knew that I was that other girl. I repliied that "could we talk" and was he up to it but as yet no reply

    I understand why he took revenge, I dont blame him. I'm not a bad person . Will he ever forgive me? Should I let this go? In his mind has he "got even" with me now?

    Where to from here?

    If you can send me your email addy I can send you a pic of us

    if it helps here are our dates of birth

    Me: 26 January 1967

    His: 7 November 1976

    Thank You...



  • You don't always understand this man very well, perhaps seeing him as someone who does things the hard way. Meanwhile he is amazed when you do something in half the time it would take anyone else. Yet he remains suspicious of your methods. You two are better off not looking too deeply into each other's lives and psyches, since some things should remain hidden. This man tends to want to be in control of a relationship, although you can easily manipulate him. A committed love relationship would not work here because this man would ultimately find you too flighty and untrustworthy and unable to be serious enough for his liking. You may also become very depressed by his heaviness and tire of his secretiveness and suspicious nature, and seek excitement elsewhere. You may even grow frightened of him. Scorpions seldom tire of seeking revenge on someone who has betrayed them - he will never trust you again. You don't trust easily yourself. He hates people who drain him and you definitely do that. You hate to be passed over or ignored and tend to behave badly purely for shock value, but your scandalous attention-getting antics will just fire up his fury.

    This is a relationship based on lies, dishonesty, revenge and deception. That is not love. Nothing good can come of it. You need to learn the lesson that this is not the way to behave if you want to have a healthy enduring relationship. Deal with your issues regarding love and move on.



  • Thanks for the feedback Captain. Some of the things you said I read previously in an astrology book that I consulted about us and some things are applicable and some not.

    I'm not flighty and he actually found me too serious having said once that I think too much. I'm not the type to do anything for shock value, being quite introverted as a person.

    And i did what i did because i wanted to connect again with a man who I had loved for the longest time

    I have the utmost respect for his intelligence. He works smart not hard

    I doubt that I drained him as he was the one, everytime we parted to reach out to me every single time. I didnt keep myself to myself to manipulate him. I simply never had the confidence to make the first moves

    I sent him a mail last night in which I said many things. Whether he or anyone believes me is not important. God knows and ultimately it is HE who will be my judge



  • Pretending to be someone else could indeed be classified as flighty or ill-considered. And of course, lies and deception drain (and intend to manipulate) other people as well as yourself. I think that you don't understand yourself well enough to see yourself clearly, or else you would be more careful with your actions. You need to dig deeply into your fears and issues in ortder to heal and repair your relationship with yourself before trying to find an outside relationship with anyone else.


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