Help! My obsession with "hope" is depressing me!



  • I feel like I'm in a holding pattern and I want out. My hopes for a ghost of a man to make a decision to be with me is slowing wringing all my self worth from me. He is manipulative, controling, secretive and worst of all he won't tell me where I stand with him. Although I KNOW this relationship can't go anywhere - because we've never really begun- I still feel like I've latched on to him for dear life! I hate this feeling. Logically, I can see and tell myself, his action warrant me to move on and never look back. I've never played the role of waiting for a man to make a decision on me... If you have to make a decision, then you don't want me and I'll beat you to the punch- I don't want anyone that doesn't want me! But this guy I can't shake...and he doesn't want me - why can't I just walk away??? There's nothing holding me to him! He communicates with me when he wants, we don't see each other and he's constantly playing games with me!! But I always see the potential in him and the REAL him - even though he tries to hide it. Soo unlike any man I've met and even with the head games he keeps me on my toes. I don't understand him completely which is appealing to me because this means i won't get bored with him (which is my #1 fear in a relationship- silly, I know). When I tell him off and it seems to intrigue him and it gives me hope. He won't tell me how he feels about me nor will tell me to kick rocks...its a vicious cycle..and I'm starting to feel like a totally different person!!

    Why can't I let go?? Why isn't he the one?? This is a ghost of a relationship but I don't know how to release myself from it so I can have someone else enter.

    I appreciate any and all responds



  • If he is PIsces under 30 y.o then don't just walk away, RUN lol



  • lol. Actually he's a Scorpio...



  • Even worse rofl.....trust your gut feeling. If it says run, then run. Simple as that !



  • This is a discussion with yourself.

    You stated all the problems.

    You stated all the answers.

    Then you asked the questions and stated your desire.

    "Why can't I let go?? Why isn't he the one?? This is a ghost of a relationship but I don't know how to release myself from it so I can have someone else enter."

    There is nothing we can tell you that you do not already know.

    You are going to have to ask yourself the question "Why?" and listen for the answer. You do know why, you just do not want to face it.

    So either stay where you are and relax into a meaningless relationship just so you have company (its as valid a choice as any other) or take the steps to move on with your life and enjoy being you. There is no one who can make you happy, only you can choose to be happy within yourself. The ability to share it with others is marvelous but how can you share something you do not have? Once you have it, there will be someone there willing and able to share theirs with you as well.

    Yours is out there but it will not come find you.



  • Nuff Said !



  • @ibelieve - you're absolutely right. I choose to be happy!! No one can give that to me - and staying in this ghost relationship gives this guy control over my happiness....eye opening moment I wanted to believe this guy was the one - but reality is, I don't know if he is or not because I don't really know him nor does he know me. Its a one sided relationship, which i've never known for anyone to work. If i like him and he doesn't feel the same its simply just not meant to be. No ones fault..just not meant to happen.

    So I will find my happiness - once I work through my now slight anger at the situation and feelings of foolishness! lol. i just realizing how drained this relationship has made me... as an aries I'm looking for the "win". But I need to realize the "win" should start with my needs...

    Thanks for you help....sometimes I need people to put things in a different way for me to "get it"!!



  • You go Girl!!

    Blessings


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