Dilemma/crossroads.....



  • So….I have this man (DOB: 2-6-79 if you need it, mine 1-23-78) who insists that he loves me. I see very little in the way of love coming from him. He doesn’t have time to see me. He doesn’t ask me to go out. He sends no evidence of appreciation. He has a habit of verbal backlash when he gets upset with me.

    He was going to move a few states away (back home for him). He now tells me he has decided to stay here for me. He loves me.

    I don’t want to be guilted into being with him. I like him for some odd reason, but I dislike some things. Any insight/suggestions?????



  • Dump him, he is latching on to you and pulling you down. He is a child and is looking for someone to Mother him in between tantrums.

    Sorry but that is what I feel I am getting from this.

    It feels as though you were thankful (releif) that he was moving away and felt a little guilty about feeling that way but you have to trust your inner instincts. He does not offer you anything and you don't own him anything. Would it not be better for him to make his choices based on real information? Have you told him how you feel? (Just kind of like him but nothing else?)

    Does any of this strike you as familar?



  • OHHHHH, You are great at this!

    I was very thankful he was leaving. I felt that I didn't have to be the crutch he is looking nowhere else for. And when you read what I just wrote about me dream on the other thread, you will see I do feel guilty. I hate letting people go. It was a relief that he made the decision.

    And yes, I have told him that I do not like the way I am treated. He insists he will do better and that he loves me. It ends up being a weekly arguement. And I do "just kinda" like him. But I know that he will never be there for me and I can not count on him.

    GOSH! That is amazing!



  • We seem top be following each other today.

    It'll be tough but you are going to have to tell him its not going to work and you both need to move on.

    I had to let go of an alcoholic just as he was admitting to it. That seems heartless but it wasn't. He too was using me as a crutch. He seemed cool when I met him and then he changed to be anything I wanted him to be. Aggreed with everthing I had to say and even took up smoking because I did.

    I did not want and could not be in controll of his happiness and that is what he wanted. Someone to be everything for HIM. That is way too much to ask of another person and the guilt was more than I could handle and yet I knew that guilt would get only worse the longer I put it off till I could not do it at all.

    I can only say I am glad he was not into the angry backlash but the realities are THAT is something I never put up with. PERIOD. I wonder if they can sense that? Cause I would have booted him to the curb right then and there.

    Hope this helps.

    Blessings



  • Gosh! Ibeleive, ur right. I should have trusted my instincts long ago and done away with him. He had another tantrum today and knew just where to hit me where it hurts. Good ridens Chuck!



  • Good for you. Now don't go doubting or second guessing it! Keep moving forward.

    Kind of goes with the clutter thread, getting rid of things we no longer need in our lives.

    Blessings.


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