Lost in my emptiness



  • At the moment I am completely lost in the fog of my own emotions and cannot see the way through. The tarot readings that I do are not helpful at all, either not really applying or being contradictive. This often happens when I feel this strongly. But I feel so very lonely and empty. I know that I cannot define who I am through another person, and need to be happy with myself. And I am. I can function alone. I go out and 'Date' myself easily and happily. But I feel in my soul that I was meant to be in a pair, not alone for the rest of my life. But there is Zero interest in me. Never really has been, and it seems like there never will be. I get quite down and emotional about the whole thing, and have trouble bringing it back under control.Very Cancerian of me, I guess.

    Has anyone else been through this? Any advice or insight? and how can I gain more control over my emotions?

    Thank you

    Amy



  • LamiiaBlue, when we are quite sure of what we want to attract, we do attract it. It seems to me you are undecided in yourself whether you want someone in your life or not. You seem to be caught between a fear of being hurt and a need for companionship. On the one hand, you say you are lonely and empty - on the other hand, you say you can function well alone.

    What is it that you feel a relationship will give you that you can't give yourself? It's a lot to ask another person to fill a hole inside us. Most likely they are looking for someone to do the same thing for them. Maybe there is no hole-filler for you out there. No one is so perfect that they don't have their own problems to bear. Maybe you sense that and that is why you feel hopeless. But you can quite well fill that hole for yourself - you just have to identify what it is. Loneliness is a feeling of lack. What is it that you feel you lack in your life? What sort of person do you imagine would take away that emptiness?



  • Thank you. I will think about those things. I really thought that I had come to a point where I had figured it out, but it appears that I have missed something.

    I understand that it is very unfair to ask someone else to fix our problems, especially when no one else can do that except for me. And I really am far too inside my own head to be an optimal rescuer to someone else. And I am just fine doing things alone, but I really don't want to all the time.

    Honestly, I think a lot of this stems from the very negative messages about myself I received from others as a child (especially as to whether I was wanted and worth loving) and I need to reconcile that within myself. The question is, if I am fairly happy with who I actually am, and I do believe that I am arriving at that point, why do I still long for someone else to want me too? These are the thoughts I need to try to unravel.



  • Hey LamiiaBlue

    I agree with what the Captain said but speaking as a Cancer man, I too feel the way you feel. I have a negative image of myself from my childhood and I believe it is hard for us Cancers to let go of past hurt. We tend to live in the past and overthink everything and I wonder if part of us feeling lonely is a desire to have someone around because it helps us get out of our heads?



  • Hi Amy, After reading your post I felt as if I almost could've posted this. I have had very similar feelings of being unloved, unwanted, unsure of self worth. I have found listening to the positive voice instead of the negative one has helped immensely. I don't recommend trying to control your emotions. Managing your emotions ---yes. What has helped me is when I feel unloved questioning my emotional reactions and (trying) to change them. It's helped so far. I'm really my own therapist.



  • It helps to narrow down your loneliness into a specific fear becasue it can stem from many things. Have a look at these common fears here to see if you identify with any of them - http://www.tarot.com/forum/topic.php?id=13325&page=4&replies=50&totalitems=50

    It may even be that you have fears that are not yours at all but that you have 'inherited' from your parents. Once you let go of what is not yours, you feel so much better and freer.


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