Gemini female in love with cancer man



  • I have a question and I am hoping to get some insight with regards to the situation I am in.

    I am deeply in love with a cancer male and we have a very deep connection. We have recently moved in together. The only problem at this stage is that his ex - girlfriend of 7 years (she is a Leo) has decided that she would like to rekindle their relationship. He is considering giving her a chance, but the connection he has with me (or that we share) is not going away (believe me, I've tried). Obviously, everyone is confused at this stage. Anyone have any advice?



  • Oh, by the way, I am a Tauraus/Gemini. My b-day is on 21 May.



  • Hi majestictwilight ....we share the same birthday!!!!

    Can I be perfectly honest???? I hope so! ....I would be out of there like a shot. I would feel pretty insulted that he would even consider her request after moving in together. It would be different if your boyfriend had automatically blanked her request to rekindle their relationship because that would have given you the strength to face up to his ex knowing that your boyfriend is over the previous relationship. But he's not. You are going to feel so insecure despite the deep connection.....

    I wish I could be more upbeat...I'm sorry! Well, I hope you had a good birthday anyway!



  • Hi. Thanks for the advice. Does it help if he still says he loves me and that we are still very active in the bedroom? He says that he doesn't think that she will really make the move from Johannesburg to Cape Town. She had chosen to move away from him and when she heard that we were moving in together, she decided that she wants to give it another try. He has said that I have fulfilled him sexually way more than she ever has and that even though he is trying to push me away, he is struggling to do so. He says he is confused. Am I still being stupid? I am in the process of changing jobs, so at this stage it is financially viable for us to live together. I love that you are so honest with me. Hope to hear from you soon. AND HAPPY BDAY!



  • Sounds as though she is jealous that he has got on with his life then....and it is a bloody long way from Johannesburg to Cape Town so lets keep our fingers crossed that she stays away!!!!

    I don't think you're being stupid....but it does sound like your relationship was on the rebound and I do think he has got to be honest with you about why he is confused.

    Is it me or do you feel insulted that he hasn't immediately dismissed her idea of a reconciliation? Well, go with your gut instinct....his love for his ex may slowly die a death as your relationship deepens but I would err on the side of caution whilst he has contact with the ex...



  • Hey girl Happy Birthday!!! Like she said above u should move and leave. Im too am a gemini girl who was in love with a cancer man...who was also 1 yr younger then me. What we real to realize is that cancer men is that they r very emotional and full of lies, they only care about what benefits them the most and what they can receive out of it. We were together 3 yrs off and on...i loved him and he said he loved me also, i met his family and friends as well he did mines, we even tried in having a baby(which by the way never succeeded thank god lol). But long story short i eventually found out that he was cheating on me a younger girl(which sucks lol) i even caught them @ the park 1day together and lost it, he denied it for a while until he confessed a few months later which hurt like Hell, we broke up but managed to still be friends and slept together until i eventually got fed up and got the strength to leave, he then tried to apologize and being "SORRY" for what he did he even tried getting back with me on numerous occasions etc...but i had moved on in my life and was not turning back. To this day we see each other @ times when im go to Manhattan to visit old friends and family but we dnt speak no more and as crazy as it sounds i even think/dream abt him @ times i guess bc he was my 1st love and u never forget them, but the best thing you can do is free yourself now and begin the healing process while it is not an easy 1 it takes time and eventually you will...May God Bless You!



  • OMG I'm in love with a Cancer with a Leo ex girlfriend too! My whole story is in the forum 'Love & relationships: Will my Crabby Cancer come crawling back?'. I've read up on Leos and they do get possessive and jealous. I think, as a Cancer, he likes that she is 'professing her love'- they both like the dramatics of romance.

    Why did you guys move into together? I hope he gave you more of an answer than "You're better in bed", because although it's nice that you two moved into together- home is where the hard-on is. DO NOT COMPETE FOR HIM, he'll respect you more for it.



  • To rnrchick: At first, he dismissed the idea completely. His mother really likes me and loved the fact that he was getting away from her. On the other hand, his sister, who really likes his ex, kept on pushing him to change his mind and give her another chance. He is very close to his mother as well as his sister. Thanks for the advice.



  • Dear Gemini620: Thanks for the advice. Did you also feel a deep connection? I have never had such intimate conversations with anyone in my life! That's what makes this so hard. And you know how we are - maybe it's the chase..? I hope I get bored soon.



  • Majestictwilight - Don't worry about his ex then or his sister. I was good friends with my ex sister in law (still am....and funnily enough her b'day is 21 May too) and she kept trying to get me to go back with my ex hubby too despite the fact my ex had moved in with his girlfriend (now wife). I didn't entertain it at all though! It may be that his sister hates the thought of change but it is your boyfriend's life and she'll have to accept it. Just be yourself and try and be friendly with his sister but don't comment on your boyfriend's ex to her....anything you do will be relayed to the ex anyhow! They will slowly get bored! And life does move on and sooner or later his sister & the ex will realise that!



  • Dear KarmaCutie,

    Thanks for the advice.We met in Johannesburg while I was on holiday this past December. We fell madly in love and he decided that he wanted to move to Cape Town. We decided to live together for financial reasons and simply because we were in love. Everything was magical from the start. But he later told me that he was in a seven year relationship and how she always chose her family above him. She even moved 300km away from him for work commitments and her father wanted that, because he felt that he was never good enough for her. That is why he decided to move on. But, like I said before, she found out about us and has made the decision to come and visit next month in our house!! He said that he thinks she is coming to let him know that she, once again will not be able to leave her family and friends behind (that's what she has apparently told him). He still says that he is 20% committed to her and he would like to give her one last chance. How do I handle this?



  • Dear rnrchik: I have only met his mother and his best friend. Everyone is located in Johannesburg and his sister is based in the Northern Cape. How do I handle the situation with regards to his ex - girlfriend coming to visit next month?



  • Him and I met in December too!! You're situation sounds hard....I'll have to think about more advice to tell you... I'm currently stumped. You're relationship is relatively new though, and to move in already? By no means let him have his cake and eat it too. He's probably day dreaming about all the good times they've had together in considering seeing her again, but he's right- she'll probably just leave him again! Make it clear, if he decides to leave- he does NOT get to come back.



  • OMG - no way on this earth would I tolerate his ex girlfriend to visit your home! Not sure that I like the 20% commitment to her either!!! He should be giving you 100% attention. I agree with KarmaCutie that if he does decide to leave make it clear to him he's not coming back....and stick to your guns! Keep telling him that his ex's visit is like a nightmare for you, that you don't want to meet her and you're disappointed in his reaction towards her....he really needs to get off of that fence! He can complain about her until the cows come home....and yet she expects him to jump when she decides to visit......I don't know......



  • OMG Majestictwilight!!!!

    I cannot believe you are considering letting the boyfriend's ex come to visit him in your home!!! NO WAY- love or not this is not a good thing! And the 20% desire of your boyfriend to reconsider- It's time to go girlfriend! It does sound as though this relationship began on the rebound, in which most of us can vouch never work in the first place, Right? Without knowing much about your past relationships its hard to get a complete feel on what is truly going on with you and why you are accepting to this type of treatment from this man. I don't want to be too harsh and hurt your feelings but it almost sounds as though you are too desperate!

    Sure the mad passionate sex life may be great!! But we all know too that once the flame dies down there's not much left eventhough you feel so connected and in love. It really doesn't sound like you are recieving the same from him-regardless of what he is saying to you. I think you already know what you should do-LEAVE and don't look back before you invest anymore of your heart and financial means in this relationship. You can always find roommates to help with the financial part of this without your heart being trampled all over.

    My comments are sent to you from experience with much empathy having been in your same situation a couple of times- but NO MORE! Good luck with this and I hope he will soon come clean with his true intentions so you can make a decision that only you can live with. Think about this...as a true gemini myself we love completely and get our hearts broken but we also bounce back fairly quickly and with flying colors (more experience). I will be checking on you to see how your doing and have already sent up a prayer for you (hope you're not offended by this).

    Like someone advised before-TRUST YOUR INTUITION (your gut) and you will NOT be led wrong!!!



  • HI, WHAT YOU HAVE HERE IS A GUY TORN BETWEN TRONG FEELINGS FROM THE PAST CROSSIN STRONG FEELGS IN THE NOW. RETROSPECTIVE WE HUMANS SEEM TO JUST REMEMBER THE GOOD BUT CAN YOU REIGNITE IN A GENTLE WAY HIS FEELING HEN SHE LEFT HIM, WHY SHE DID AND WAS HE IN ER THOUGHTS AT ALL WHEN SHE MADE HIS PLANS.

    i AGREE THAT IT IS JEALOUSY OR A CASE OF I DONT WANT YOU BUT NEITHIR IS ANYBODY ELSE TO GET YOU- AND IFHE CHOOSES HERE SHE WILL HURT HIM AGAIN.......A SURE AS DAY FOLLOWS NIGHT. HOWEVER YOU CANT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE A PAWN IN THE GAME SHE PLAY WITH HIM. HE HA TO DECIDE EITHIR HE HA MOVED ON OR HE HASNT. IT SEEMS BSIC PUT MAYB HE NEEDSTO WRITE THE PRO'S AND CONS OF HIS RELATIONSHIPS WITH HER AND SAME THEN WITH YOU AS WRITING IT DOWN CAN LARIFY THE MIND OR JUST WRITE AS IF DEAR DIARY AND LET IT FLOW- THE TRUTH WILL COME TO HIM THEN, OLD FEELINGD CAN HAUNT BUT IF THEIR OLD THEY ARE PAST AND ALL THAT REMAINS IS A WHISPERING HAUNTING OF IFS,SHOULDS AND COULD HAVES.

    YOU NEED TO KNOW WHERE YOU STAND- GIVE HIM A MONTH TO THINK AND DO NOT COMMENT OR RAISESUBJECT UNTIL MONTHS END BUT THEN MY DEAR HE MUST CHOOSE- SOMETIMES THAT LEAP OF FAITH IS SCARY AND HE FINDS HIMSELF AT THAT POINT BUT HE HAS TO MOVE ON OR STAY IN PAST BUT YOU ONLY PASRT OF THE FUTURE. HOPE ALL WORKS FOR YOU AND AS THEY SAY IF SOMETHING I MANT FOR YOU IT WONT PASS YOU BYE



  • oh girl I couldn't I love my man but when his ex came to town he asked me to move now Im back and i learned why I had to go



  • hey,new at this but i am more or less involved with a cancer who is divorcing a wife 25yrs. she is an aries...i am a leo and would not have ever met this man was not for the wife...needless to say i have come to find out that my feelings of affection thank goodness have been only that, my feelings and never expressed except in words of admiration...come to find out he is invovled with a co worker, done some business deals behind the wife's back and was having an affair and is with a woman from a bar he goes to...she does him favors! what ever that means...and he is now truely being so horrble to the wife that i am shocked that a man would behave this way and that i for some reason still affection for him...what is wrong with me! but i would say start by doing a mantr of i love you, i forgive you, i release you...of course i resist this myself because as i said i have strong feelings for him....but you are younger than me and it would be a shame to have a life with some one who will never love you completely if at all, this guy was great for a while now two grown children barely know him and the wife is trying to move on...



  • Dear KarmaCutie: Guess what? Apparently, his ex - has decided that she is not willing to move away from her family and as a result is not coming anymore. This happened after I clearly explained to my cancer man that under no circumstances, whatsoever, is she putting her feet in our house. He is obviously crushd by this, and I have also said that if he really wants her, he needs to back to her. He said that he doesn't want to be second best anymore. This does not really help my situation, because he is grieving now. Not only that, I am starting to feel like I ***ing deserve better than that! (But I still love him though). I have decided to stand back a bit and am trying to lie low for a while while I am trying to sort out my head. I just have one question? Why do we put up with this? What makes us hold on and why do we allow ourselves to go through this humiliation, turmoil, etc.? I am hoping that some of my Gemini traits will take over and that I do get bored. Who the hell do he thinks he is? (I hope I don't change my mind again - I feel like I am on a roll). Hope I hear from you soon and thanks for the advice;-)



  • Well done majestictwilight for standing your ground re the ex. Leave him to "grieve"....but he really is being insensitive and insulting to you! See how it goes, I suppose, but hopefully he'll snap out of his tantrum to realise that he has got a good thing going with you and to stop dwelling in the past. If he doesn't, then .... Follow your gut feeling majestic....Best wishes


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