Facebook unfriend--what should I do?



  • So I logged on to Facebook this morning and found my friend count down by one. After looking I realized it was one of my friends from a while back at a summer camp. We even went out once a few years ago. We know and are friends with a ton of the same people and run into each other at least once a month, and we go to the same school. It's always friendly when we see each other. He just recently posted that he works at where we went to camp, but I was too busy to comment a few days ago. Could this have offended him? Other than that, I don't know what I might've done to offend him. Should I message him saying sorry if I offended him in some way, and congratulate him on his new job, or just let it go? I'm mystified as to what happened. It's not like he only has Friends who he knows really well. Any advice appreciated--thanks!



  • The same thing happened to me.... I was like "what did I do to you?"... turns out he had not just defriended me, but had temproraily removed his profile offf facebook entirely. In the end it had nothing to do with me, I imagine your situation is similar.



  • I was going to say the same thing! There are so many breaches of privacy on Facebook---if you use it regularly you almost have to at least once just take it down or delete everyone.



  • Thank you! Should I message him about it or let it go? Or how should I proceed? He's still friends with a ton of other people. Thanks again!



  • If this person was that important to me I would answer his last message as if I Ihad not noticed I was deleted. This way you avoid uncomfortable feelings if he did it in iimpulsive moment. Be honest--like--sorry didn't get back to you right away was extra busy. Then wait. If he does not answer you let it go. If there is a girlfriend influence you will hear about it "through the grapevine". My feeling is he likes you more than friends but feels afraid to be rejected so rejects first. Still, you should not push this. You can't be put into a position of always wondering if YOU did something wrong if you didn't. Be true to yourself--if you were busy you were busy. Send the e-mail reply you would have and then let it go. BLESSINGS



  • I regularly "lose" 2 to 3 friends on Facebook. A day or so later and they are back. It's a glitch with their system, don't assume he actually removed you 🙂



  • Thanks everyone for you input. I think what the deal was was that he had his new job at a high-class place (it was always hard for us to afford going to that camp), and he was clearing out anyone not cool enough--I saw two of our mutual friends get "unfriended" as well, and I saw his friend count go down by about 7-10 people. (Also, he had just written in his newsfeed to everyone about the job. We hadn't talked in a while anyway). It's sad when that happens and you lose sight of people you've known forever and were good friends with previously. I just hope he doesn't crash too hard when he realizes people who are real and friendly are better than those who are cool and fake. I also gained insight into his character that I'd rather not have, and I guess I won't mention it to him. Oh well. He was always a good friend, and I wish him the best. Thanks again everyone for your advice. 🙂



  • Be kind to yourself----this story is not over! BLESSINGS.



  • Thanks, Blmoon! You're the best! 🙂



  • Hey, Blmoon! You were right! When you said "this story is not over"! He came up to me and said hi yesterday at the coffe shop I'd always see him at. I congratulated him on the new job and jokingly asked why he unfriended me. He looked surprised and said he didn't know (he didn't apologize). He said "just re-add me". So I did and now I'm wondering if I should have.

    I was there with my brother when he came up to us. My friend didn't look so good. He had dark circles under his eyes, his shirt was very wrinkled, and he was there alone (he used to be surrounded by people whenever he was there). He asked my brother for a cigarette--my brother's only 15! (But he does look older than me, although I'm 2 years older. I realized after he left that it had been SO long since he'd seen my brother that he didn't recognize him.

    Anyway, just wanted to tell you, Blmoon, since you already saw that the story wasn't over. Thanks for your advice and all you do for the people on Tarot. 🙂


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