In need of help..so alone
i havent been on here in a year and in the past year I have been thru hell. I am not happy with how my life has been going so far and have even contemplated ending everything. I have no friends and no family thats willing to help me thru my touh times. Noone wants to listen when I need to talk. Every guy I have dealt with only uses me for wut they want and then its to the curb with me. I am so tired of going thru everything that I am going thru. I can be happy for maybe a day or two and then when reality sinks in again im back to feeling like I am no longer needed here. I know this may not be the proper place to come to but I felt that it was someone on here who could help me. I feel like I am being punished for something from a past life. I need to know wuts going on with me and my life and wut do I need to do to get up again. I am tired and Im holding in there because of my kids but with the way things are going for me how much longer can I hold on. I am alone. I pray alot for happiness and to feel loved because I feel like Im not. my birthdate is 8-20-1982
Start loving yourself first and get some counseling
We are all quilty of falling short in our lives and getting stuck in the muck, none of us are perfect and I know of no one who lives a charmed or perfect life. So be gental with yourself.
Getting counsiling, or seeing your own physician as a start is good advice and should be taken seriously but...if you are wanting to tell your story and move on from it there is a thread here on the forum called Spiritual Boot Camp 2 run by The Captain.
Please take a look at it and see if you might want to join in there. Sometimes just getting it out of you is good. And you can be annonmous and say everything you want to say.
The point is to move past it, except that your are the pilot in your like and not just a passenger. You have to learn to forgive yourself (truely, don't eat yourself down anymore) and to stop blaming others for what is happening.
There are always things in our lives that we can not control but we can control how we deal with them and how we LET them affect us. It is called empowerment! I think you could do well by taking back your life and empowering yourself.
I'm truly sorry for where you are at right now in your life...i agree with ibeleive,please seek your doctors help if you are feeling this low...May you know that you are never alone sweetie.Gosh i feel your sadness and tears...and i wish i could say more to help you and t tell you everything is going to be okay...
I just posted on the captains thread ibeleive was talking about..i put things on there that i haven't thought about in years and just tonight something pulled me there and to your thread....I am never on tarot this late,
i have also read some of your past threads, i hope you don't mind, i reembered your name, i've been on here when you were on in your past threads... i understand that Hans gave you some wonderful incite also leoscorpian...maybe you can go back and read some of your older threads and that could be a good place to start again...
Please take care and love yourself again, your worth it
sending you peace,light,love and healing..
Me again:) missleo
here the link to the captains thread incase it gets pushed down and you just want to have a look...
again my thoughts and prayers are with you..
Missleolady, you are stuck in victim consciousness where you think life is random and out of your control. But you are in fact very much in control of yourself and your life. Everything you have attracted to you - friends, partners, life situations - has been becasue of what you give off. If you expect life to be hard, then it becomes so. If you get positive and believe that life is good, then it will be. You are in control and must take responsibility for what has happened to you. Only then will you regain your power and be able to do what you want with it.
You will not be passed over or ignored or not needed if you lose your fears and project love and self-belief. By retreating into the shadows of darkness and depression, you dim your light so that no one can see you. Thus what you fear becomes real - no one can see or hear you. You have to gather your courage to step out into the spotlight where you belong - you are here to shine, not hide your light. if you want more intimacy from relationships, you have to lose your fear of expressing your feelings and learn to be more gentle and kind with yourself and with others. Open that big generous heart of yours and stop this over self-protection. Let affection and trust flow easily from you to others. Your extreme need for privacy is holding you back from enjoying true intimacy. You may even project an image that is at odds with your true nature so that people think you don't need them. You need to find a way to feel safer around others by discovering why you fear sharing yourself. Your strong powers of observation can be a help to you to find real understanding of what empathy and compassion for yourself and others is.
missleo, hoping you are okay?
peace,light and love
sad to hear about your upset.
sometimes we do feel like we are not needed but like you say your kids need you and your family unit yourself and your children are a huge blessing
If sometimes you feel happy and somtimes sad perhaps there are triggers that make you feel sad again? maybe you notice, something that triggers that depressed feelings to return.
I feel you need some kind of counselling, to talk out all that has been bothering you..sometimes it accumulates over time and we just shut ourselves off because it seems it is too much to share or that no one can understand.
as with regard to men...hmm i been struggling to think why i meet the wrong men, and for me it is because I might meet these men when I am clouded in vision not seeing straight. after i think oh no why didn't i see...it feels horrible but really if thats what they were like then its better they vanished sooner rather than later surely?
you have so many things to look forward to..your children growing up all the beautiful memories you will create together....
and i think they do deserve a happy mother because they feel it too they will pick up on it....so maybe book you all in for counselling to understand how all of you feel?
hoping things improve for you...because I do understand the feeling...
x x x x
Oh gosh you sound a lot like me, i too have been thru h___! I went to my doctor and got an antidepressant and that helps a little, have you thought of something like that???? Please don't think about doing anything to yourself thats just a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know how you feel though I have been there several times, after a while family members tire of our problems, well I don't know how much help this is but you are not alone there are a lot of people out there like us. Please keep in touch maybe we can help each other.
I want to thank each and everyone of you for your kind words. Reading these threads actually bought me to tears. My children's peditrician suggested that I seek some form of help as well. I guess she could see that I was down when I took my youngest in for shots. Its hard when you feel like youre alone and wanting to be strong for others while slowly losing yourself. I am the neighborhood therapist always listening but never being heard. I am glad that I came back on here after being gone for awhile.
Thecaptain I greatly appreciate your insight as with the others. It has been hard for me to allow anyone into my life when I have been hurt so many times by people even family members. I have held on to resentment towards my mother and myself. I will take the advice you have given me and work on it. I think that it would be a good idea for me to seek some form of help I dont want to give up on my kids. I have four and they need me just as I need them. Im going to continue praying and work on myself.
I havent learned how to love myself because I always been so busy loving others. Showing others that I can love instead of showing that I need love. Well thanks again and I hope that everyone stays safe and be blessed
You are not alone.
I'm glad you posted, was thinking of you...hang in there
like the captain said your not alone
I am happy you responded back, I was worried about you. I know I don't know you but I and others do care regardless. I'm glad you are looking into getting help and I also wanted to note that sometimes it helps to journal your feelings. Like writting it out to yourself or you can even do it here. It did one like that, where I just wanted to get some things off my chest. It made me feel better just putting it out there, and people responded as well. (eventhough I did not expect it) And they dealt with some of the same things. It was kind of cool but mostly enlightening. None of us are truely alone unless we refuse to reach out. Being afraid of reaching out is what continues to bind us in our lonliness. So you unbound a little here and see you are a part of something larger. Keep it up.